"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." Einstein knew what he was talking about. Some people never learn, and it's just something that happens. You deal.

I leave for college on Saturday. :) I'm excited and bummed and have totally not started packing (mostly). I've got stuff pulled out of my closet and from a couple of drawers and stuffed into bins, boxes and bags. I also bought a big black bumbershoot today -it looks like it should be a sword cane. Sadly it's not. I have also officially used up my alliteration license for the day. I only need to get food now and I'm pretty much good to go, aside from laundry.

As should be expected, I'm taking far more books than anything else. They're languishing in bins in my room right now, and the guilt is just absolutely crushing me. Books belong on shelves, on display, where they can breathe and are easily accessible. Crushing Jane Austen underneath my copy of "Not Quite What I Was Planning" is just not cool. I don't like it. I want to get to my room and set up my pretty silver shelves (although it'll take me a lot longer than it should, since yours truly is not mechanically inclined -maybe I can talk Jonah into helping me with this) and lovingly place my books out in the open air again.

If I could have floor to ceiling shelves in my dorm, I so totally would. How do you display your books?

In other news, I love Spongebob. And I reviewed another book.

Two entries

In one day?
You're some kind of spoiled (and I'm some kind of bored).

This one is mostly just me blabbing -less on the books, more on the "whatever I feel like telling you" side of the blog. And all of this just basically being me procrastinating on my The Things That Matter review...which is sad, since part numero uno goes up tomorrow. But that's why I'm doing it in 8 parts, so I have time to edit as I go. Right? Right.

First order of business. It hasn't become evident much in this blog yet, but I swear. A lot. Nonchalantly or with great emphasis -as a bumper sticker I have on Facebook says: "Profanity makes talking fun!" Now, while I don't necessarily believe that to be true, I really have no issue with swearing. I'll call a spade a spade. Or, to be more precise, I'll call a tool a tool. One of my favorite observations while driving is "Nice truck/car/pimp-mobile of your choice -sorry about your dick." Because it's at least partially true (nobody has a car that makes that GGGGGGRRRRRRVVVVVVVRG rattly noise and has spoilers, superfluous tailpipes, a car so shiny it looks like it's covered in olive oil and all the little doo-dads who isn't compensating for something, whether it's phallic or not). So, just as an fyi, if the occasional curse is going to bother you... be prepared to avert your eyes, at least occasionally. I try to tone it down on the blog, but sometimes it will inevitably slip through. At least I'm not the Tourette's Guy.

Count your blessings.

Second order of business. I've recently started following another blog called The Pretty Year. It's this woman, Michelle, who's decided to amp up her wardrobe with 250 outfits while spending less than $250. Neat stuff. She's a funny lady, too, and she isn't afraid to tell it how it is. Although she swears a lot less than I do. If you have any interest in clothes or women's fashion or cool people who do interesting things and aren't afraid to talk about it online, check her out. I also like the fact that she is not a stick-thin girly girl. Coming from my own petite POV, it's nice to know there are people out there who aren't a 36-25-36 or whatever and who are proud of it.

Third order of business. I am really procrastinating right now. I've gone through and linked this article to hell and back. I hope you all click on all of the links. Sometimes they're useful and pertinent and sometimes I'm being a dick or just posting irrelevant links that I think are interesting, whether you agree or not.

Fourth order of business. I am out of things to say. Onward and upward and forward and toward...I'd say backward, but that doesn't work in this context. Or does it?

EDIT-
Check this out! Gender bias is everywhere. I won't go ultra-feminist on you right now (although I guarantee I will have at least one day where I get mad about something and go all femi-nazi on you, all while being well-worded, polite and correct), but seriously editors? I want to join your ranks when I graduate, and this is pathetic. The guy who wrote this is also really funny.

It's Caturday!

LOLCats. They have either ruined the internets, or made them incomparably more awesome. I'm never sure which, although there was a rendition of Wasteland makes my day every time I read it. (If you haven't read Wasteland, it wouldn't make much sense. In fact, it probably won't make any. But it's a good place to get started on the poem, because a] it's read by LOLCats and b] it's really really funny). However, the link appears to have died. :( So I can no longer post it for you. If I find it again (or anyone knows where it is), I'll link you to it. It's great.

Right now I'm reading Brave New World. I started it about two weeks ago and put it aside in favor of The Things That Matter (which I am currently in the process of reviewing; it's going to be a review in 8 parts, so holy hell is that taking forever to do. It's basically an academic paper at this point, but since I am a Literature Examiner, that's my job. And I enjoy it.); now that I've picked BNW back up, I regret having put it down. It's just amazing. I'll be writing another lengthy review of that, I can already tell.

I still need ideas of books to read! Bring 'em on, bring 'em on. As with my musical criteria (well, criterion): I will read anything that doesn't suck. And if it does...I just get to write a nasty review.

Here's something funny I've noticed about the comments I get on my Twilight review. The ones that aren't agreeing with me but aren't totally illiterate still aren't disagreeing with me. They're calling me names, or saying I'm jealous of Meyer. "Say whatnow?" is generally my reaction to that buffoonery. If I were jealous of Meyer, I wouldn't have the ability to write a review, because I'd be too busy off writing a better series of novels than Twilight. It's not like it'd be hard -it's been done a million times before, and will be done a million times hence. I just think it's sort of sad that people are so defensive of Twilight they have to automatically assume that anyone who doesn't like it either sucks as a person or is a struggling and therefore jealous writer.

Sorry I'm not jealous of something that wasn't worth reading in the first place, kiddies.

Those comments also get deleted, because they generally are full of other inappropriate insults. One offered to print of the review and have a dog bescumber it.

Anyway, /rant again. That review just makes me laugh. People get so pissy!

Off I go to enjoy my weekend!

Tragedy and mayhem

I got Rick Rolled yesterday. At work. That song...that horrid song...was on the radio. I got Rick Rolled by life. I was laughing so hard I accidentally snorted dust from the files I was pulling during the chorus. Never gonna give you up...

For those of you who don't know the horror of a Rick Roll, just go here.

In other news, people who like Twilight still hate me. Far be it from me to criticize a 12 or 13 year old for having an opinion, but seriously kids? Shut up. You have no idea what good literature looks like unless you're precocious, and if you are, you wouldn't like Twilight. You wouldn't insist that my "reality" must be boring because there are no vampires or werewolves in it (first, I watch True Blood religiously, so to hell with your sissy vampires and second, in both True Blood and Twilight, they're shape-shifters. Get your terminology right or GTFO).

If I bothered to respond to the comments on that particular article, I'd probably a) get fired for being a dick and b) make some little kids cry.

I'm all for freedom of speech, and I love getting comments - and making fun of stupid people. So in the end I have no problem with idiots leaving poorly written comments that are, in a word, buncombe. (If you don't know what buncombe is, go here. You'll also learn about lots of other fun words, like bescumber and Frenchify). Seriously, fans of Twilight: come insult my review as much as you like. But know that no matter how many times you tell me the "Twilight Saga" (which I will reiterate for the umpteenth time is a series and not a saga. Idiots. I don't care what it says on the cover of the book, the cover of the book is lying to you) is the BEST BOOK EVAR and you luuuuuv Edward and he's so hot and protective...you're never going to change my mind. The books are sexist, poorly written, boring, predictable, riddled with errors and they promote abuse, stalking and pedophilia. There's no way around that.

/rant

In other news, I'm going to work again today! I'm going to try to go in at least 4 days this week, although I'm taking tomorrow off for the sake of my special project. Are you getting excited??? If not, I'm disappointed. Make me a cake and I will forgive you.

Additionally....I got into an argument with a 65-year-old man from Australia yesterday. He wrote an article on Helium.com and I was sort of put off by it, since it proposed to explain why scientists reject the idea of God by trying to tear down the theory of evolution. Needless to say, that was not convincing to me, so I wrote him some feedback. Twice (because Firefox chose to crash right then, not because I'm that much of a dick). I wasn't very nice. I wasn't attacking him personally, since in the rating system you don't know whose article you're working with, but I was definitely ripping the article more than one new orifice. My questions were justified and I still stand by my position that the article was written from an ignorant and incorrect standpoint, but I was being a bit of a snide jackass.

So it didn't surprise me when I got a long, impassioned e-mail from him asking me who the hell I think I am, insulting my intelligence, my writing abilities, my personality and my validity as a human being. About what I expected from what was clearly a radical, if not fundamental, Christian. I wrote him back, apologizing for the offense and basically being more of a jackass while trying to come off as taking the moral high ground (which is what I tend to do in those situations).

A flurry of e-mails passed between us, each successively less pissy, and it was a really weird experience that I thought I'd share with you, my very few readers. He turns out to be quite nice. I caught him at a bad moment, he said, early in his day and he responded without thinking about whether my comments might be valid. I, of course, apologized for my lack of tact. Then we talked about schooling (since in his first e-mail he had compared me to one of his daughters...not in a good way) and that seems to have been the end of it.

Except for this -this is the second time I've sent him feedback on Helium via the rating system. And pissed him off without really trying to. The first time I responded quite angrily, I remember, saying something about getting into a pissing match with a skunk (I've told you I'm a jackass. Eventually you will believe that); this time I appear to have made a friend, maybe. Or at least there's one less 65-year-old who hates me.

Crazy times.
Still reading. :)



The review of Rebecca goes up tomorrow, along with my special project, so keep your optical organs peeled!