The Reading Corner

Android Karenina

2010-06-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

I have never read Anna Karenina, but I'm beginning to be tempted. Russian literature can be a heavy undertaking, as my symbolism-laden senior year literature class could attest to. It took us several years to get through Crime & Punishment (or it felt like it, anyway), because we spent so much time analyzing everything that we had no real ability to just appreciate the literature.

Tolstoy is intimidating. Anna Karenina is a very large book. It's brick-sized. Brick-sized books frighten many readers. I had no intention of picking up any Russian literature this summer...

...but then I saw Android Karenina at my local library. Those of you who are familiar with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (and hey, anybody hear anything about the movie starring Natalie Portman? Can you say boo-yah!?) or Sense and Sensibility and Seamonsters should grab a copy of this newest Ben H. Winters phenomenon, because it is great.

As the back of the book cover says, Android Karenina is set in an awesomer Russia.

The back of the book cover is not lying to you.

Fans of Winters, Russian literature, steampunk and/or robots would be remiss in not picking this up. It takes the Tolstoy, which is already classic, and pumps it up a notch. As a Star Wars fan and an avid reader, Android Karenina is a huge treat.

The best thing about Winters' mash-ups, as far as I'm concerned, is that they encourage readers to approach classic literature with an open mind. Yes, you get zombies and seamonsters and robots in the mix -but you're also getting the literature. The rich traditions of hundreds of years of writing are being more widely read (and besides, they're much more funny than the authors ever intended).

Even if the books aren't the pure literature of the original, they make a great read, and they get more reluctant readers interested in the writing. Android Karenina is no exception.

Whiny Whiny People.

2010-06-23T07:07:00.000-07:00

You know what I am really sick of hearing? People whine about self-publishing. I've ranted about Garrison Keillor's steaming pile of whine before, but apparently people still have not picked up on a few simple facts.

Self-publishing works for a growing number of writers and readers (so the people complaining about the poor readers! how will they ever be able to choose books! can seriously shut up. You're insulting readers -who know what they want, and will learn how to find it, when self-publishing outlets become as organized for readers as they are for writers)
Self-publishing is not going away. We live in an increasingly digital world. The ability of writers and readers to access books in seconds is not something people are going to give up, now that they have it. And there are more books available!
Self-publishing does not mean the books are bad (or "dreck" as one panicky Salon columnist called self-published work). I've said it before, and I will continue saying it until people realize it's true: not all self-published books are equal. Claiming that everything that is published belongs in the rejected slush pile as having been horrid, despicable, shallow and bad just alienates the great writers from working with you.
Self-publishing is a market. It's going to self-regulate. People are all panicked about the gatekeeper aspect of traditional publishing. Well, I'm sorry. Any "gatekeeper" who would allow something like Twilight to get published is hardly worth the name (and the claim that there are worse books that have been rejected changes nothing -a crap book is a crap book, and it got published. Someone on the marketing team is happy, while literature is sitting in a corner weeping. Claiming that the traditional industry is a bastion of literary prowess while self-publishing writers are all shoddy hacks is a lie, plain and simple.).

I also hate the claim that anyone who supports self-publishing must have been rejected from the traditional route and is looking for an easy way to get their book out there. First of all, I have been published in the traditional way (short stories are different than novels, but the rejection rate is still high), and I support self-publishing fully. I don't have any rejected manuscripts that I'm slapping out on a POD site, all bitter and angry about my rejections. My manuscripts aren't ready for publication, and any self-pubber with an ounce of sense has been through this process.

They have been through the marketing process, the design, the editing (and if they're smart, they hired somebody to help them with every step -and self-pubbers are very frequently very smart). The ones that aren't going through this rigorous cleaning, polishing and touting of their work aren't going to be successful. Just like in the "real" publishing world, if you put out crappy products, you get crappy results.

So quit your whining. Start making friends with the people who are driving the market forward and will be gaining even more momentum over the next decades. We're not going to forget the people who referred to self-publishing writers are producers of dreck. We'd like to work with people in the traditional industry and apply the expertise to this new market -but we're more than happy to leave you all behind as you cry about how technology is the devil and no one is writing anything good.

Book Recommendations

2010-06-15T06:36:00.000-07:00

I love books. If you didn't know that already, you're probably on the wrong blog. I have a tattoo devoted to books (and someday will probably have another. It's true what they say about tattoos -they're addictive), and so many books that I can't find them all and occasionally end up the victim of a bookvalanche.

But I'm still looking for new things to read.

What I'm Reading Now

Right now I'm reading a great book called Freethinkers: A History of American Secularism. I borrowed it from my grandma (she's awesome), and it's fascinating. As an American secularist, I am really interested in the history of the movement, and it's not something that gets much mainstream attention.

There's a lot more history (and humor) than I had even imagined. I was kind of thinking that Freethinkers might not have much to say (despite its 432 pages), because secularism isn't talked about all that often unless you're involved in some secular blog circles. The history of the movement and the individuals has been neglected. Freethinkers is like the history class I wish I could have had in school.

Susan Jacoby is an honest, open and funny writer. She's not bitter about the relative anonymity secularism has, only frustrated and sad. Some of the biggest secular figures of history never get even a whisper of a mention, but they had fascinating lives and often received national and international attention. Reading this book is like discovering old relatives I wish I'd been able to meet. There are fascinating people and events described.

If you have any interest at all in secular America, check it out. It's a great read.

Then What?

What would you recommend I start on next? I like juggling a few books at a time during the summer, and I will read almost anything.

What You Should Read

I would recommend trying something new this summer. Break out of your favorite genre and explore a new topic. If you usually read paranormal romance, try a book like Nudge, by Malcolm Gladwell. If your favorite books are science fiction, read some modern literature. Reading new things is one of the best ways to learn and expand your knowledge base -and who knows? Maybe you'll find a new favorite genre.

Characters

2010-06-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

I have been absent for a while. I'm trying to get back on track with all of my writing, starting today, so if I don't post again every weekday this week, feel free to write me an angry letter.

What I want to write about today is characters, and most importantly, character appearance -as in, physical appearance.

Spare Me This Crap

I read a review of a book today, and the description of the characters made me gag. It was essentially that the good guys were all sexy, smart and sarcastic and the bad guys were all hideous, smart but with fatal flaws, and also kind of lame and petty. I haven't read the book, so I can't say if that's accurate...but I can tell you I will not be reading that book. Ever.

This is a book for adults, mind you. It's not a kid's book where good and evil are clearly defined and there is no nuance or gray area, so that kids can understand the morals. It's a book for grownups, who are supposed to be able to puzzle out the difference between good, evil and the questionable in between, or at least try.

Apparently the author of this book doesn't have enough faith in readers to give you any actual substance in characters. The good guys (and girls) are so good they even look good! And the bad guys are so wicked it warps their outsides and they're just fugly. Wow. Yawn.

Give Me More of Characters Like These

Now I'd like to look back at Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. Sissy Hankshaw is a fox -she's a model, and she's tall, blond and slender. But she has massive (supermassive) thumbs. They're so jarring that they never even appear in the ads she's featured in. These thumbs are her defining physical characteristic, and they shape her destiny: she's a hitchhiker. It's what she is (mostly).

Sissy is still a complex character with wants and desires and depth, however. She is not reduced to one aspect of her physical appearance, and that's what makes her interesting. If Sissy was just a body attached to a pair of thumbs, ECGTB wouldn't have held my attention past the first three pages.

And another example: The Better Part of Darkness. Without giving away any spoilers, one of the main (and handsome) male characters' souls is replaced by that of a demon who purchased the rights to the body (seriously, it's a cool book. Check it out.). And yet, when this demon looks at the situation his host body was in, he doesn't run away from it. He's got this great new bod, a whole new lifetime to use it in, and he throws himself back into harm's way to help a woman and her daughter, despite the fact that he's a shady demon.

That's complex. That's confusing -do you hate him for taking over a main character's body? Or do you love him for helping? That is a real character. That adds value to the story. That's someone whose outward appearance may be attractive in the conventional way, but whose personality is their biggest quality.

Other Considerations

Books are escapism. Sometimes readers just need to escape into that fantasy of the perfect bod/perfect mate/perfect life for a while, and there's nothing wrong with providing that -sometimes. On the one hand, escapism is healthy. We need it, and it's nice. On the other hand, it also tends to promote specific cultural stereotypes about beauty and its effect on personality (for example: the smoking hot bitch, the cute but shy girl who gets the guy, the bad boy who just needs some love and is totally gorgeous, the square-jawed hero with a dark past, etc. I am bored just thinking about these characters).

I want to read about real people, not some character who always has the snappy one-liner, the long legs and the straight blond hair. Real people are clumsy or have freckles they hate or always nick their knees when shaving. Real people are drawn in shades of gray.

Homeward Bound

2010-06-09T10:32:00.000-07:00

I've been absent from the blogosphere this week -I'm going home today, and packing, studying and generally being incredibly bored have taken up most of my time. That and watching seasons 3 and 4 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix (don't act like you didn't know I was a nerd. Next it's going to be True Blood.). However, I now find myself with nearly an hour to kill and no desire to start on season 5 right away.

Today I woke up grumpy, walked grumpily through the rainstorm from hell to get a breakfast that made me sick and then got a stress headache, which I decided (brilliantly) to compound with a latte (or a chai with a shot of espresso -I honestly do not remember). The stress headache went away, but the whole "I'm allergic to milk (etc)" thing is kicking me in the head and stomach simultaneously. It's a fun day to have a final exam I don't want to take!

I figured I should update with some bookish things, but to be totally honest, I don't have much to say (at least right now. I do have news, but I want to wait a couple of days so I don't jinx it somehow). I haven't been reading much (cue the guilt), but that should change once I get home and have nothing but free time (and possibly two summer jobs).

I'm still working my way through Even Cowgirls Get the Blues and I have to be honest -I like Jitterbug Perfume better. I love the characters in ECGTB (too lazy to type), they're interesting...but something about it is losing me. I think it's possibly that since I've been stuck in my dorm since last Friday with -quite literally -nothing I needed to work on, I want vicarious action. Not much is going on in ECGTB. Sissy is in a mental institution, and Robbins seems to be frolicking through lengthy descriptive and introspective passages. They're well written, and they're funny, but nothing is going on and I'm very bored with it.

In JP, the characters are after something. There is a driving force pushing the characters through life. There are desires, and conflicts. In ECGTB, that's almost totally lacking in all significant ways -and I'm almost halfway through the book. Even the tantalizing little tidbits about the Chink and the clockworks really aren't enough to keep me interested right now. I love Robbins' writing, I just think I picked a bad time to read this particular book. Thoughts?

While I psychoanalyze my reasons for wanting more action (hint: it's because I'm stuck in a dorm with nothing to do and I'm bored), I am going to refrain from whining about having to live in a dorm and be bored for almost a full week any further (it involves how gross other people are, and I don't have the stomach for it).

More books and booky talk soon, when I am less grouchy. :)

Nerdery

2010-06-04T05:10:00.001-07:00

I am having a severe case of geek flashback. The Scripps National Spelling Bee is today (and yesterday)! Right now I really wish I was at home so I could be watching it -this is the first and only time I have wished for a TV while at school.

As a two-time competitor in the Bee, watching all of those terrified kids takes me back to when I was standing on that stage, nervously misspelling theodicy to pronouncer Jacques Bailly (who won the Bee himself in 1980). This is true of all spellers: I constantly run into the word theodicy now.

I placed 47th in 2004. In 2003, I was 85th. I can't even put into words how much fun the Bee always was for me (even when I lost). Even now, I bring one of my two copies of Merriam Webster's Third New International Dictionary to school with me, and I use it regularly.

If you have some time to watch the Bee, it's on ESPN or ESPN3 and ABC as well. Even if you don't know how to spell the words, some of the kids' antics are hilarious, and it's always amazing to me to see how intelligent they are.

I Got Books

2010-06-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

More accurately, I got a stack of old literary journals and magazines. Yesterday was the last day of my nonfiction writing workshop, and our prof brought in a bunch of them to give away -her husband is a book reviewer and wanted to clean house.

I don't know if that means these are all copies that he didn't like, but if you put me in a room and say, "Free books, take as many as you like!" believe me when I say that I will. I got 4.

Have any of you heard of/read/submitted to/been published in any one of these? Let me know! I'm excited to dig into them and see what's what.

West Branch.

I got the poetry issue from Spring/Summer 2005.
First line of the first piece, called A Walking Fire by Josh Wallaert:
"Now a little fire in a wild field. Winter."

Pleiades.

I got the first issue of Volume 30, published in 2010.
First lines of the first piece, called Canto 23 by Mark Smith:
"Marcus, having exchanged the firemen's
asbestos suit he wore in Canto 22
for a jacket of polartec, was escorted
by his Indian guide to the shoreline"

The Greensboro Review.

I got Number 78, from Fall of 2005.
First lines of the first piece, called Necessity at Radmansgatan by Hildred Crill:
"We all rush
down the narrow stone stairway
to the trains or back up again"

Great River Review.

I got the Fall/Winter issue from 2005.
First line of the first piece, called Such Fire, by Lon Otto:
"I was thinking about Roy, which wasn't his real name but what he'd told me to use when I talked about him."
(I will admit that I picked up Great River Review because there is an author in it who shares one of my last names.)

I'm sure I'll be posting more about these as I go through them. What are your favorite literary magazines or journals? And have you submitted to mine? ;)

Summer reading list

2010-06-02T08:19:00.001-07:00

I am still constructing my list of books for this summer, personally. I want to revisit some old favorites, like Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials, but I'm also looking forward to branching out into new territory. I have a week of vacation in NC coming up, and I'm already making lists of what I want to take with me.

I've been meaning to read Neil Gaiman's Sandman series for ages, and I'm hoping I can get started on that soon. There's also a new translation of The Arabian Nights out that I'm looking into snagging a copy of, as well.

One of my favorite things about summer is that I get to read all day if I really want to. Summer is perfect for lounging around outside with a new book, and I am so excited for it to finally be here! My summer break starts in almost exactly a week (give or take a few hours next Wednesday for finals), and I am going to dive right into a big pile of books (metaphorically speaking. Ow.).

What's on your summer reading list?

Sorry for the short post today -nothing new to report re: what I'm reading at the moment. I am reluctant to do anything at all because I have the end-of-the-school-year doldrums and all I really want to do is lay around and eat ice cream. 3 more days of class. I'll get through it. Maybe.

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

2010-06-01T05:29:00.000-07:00

Jonah got me Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins -and what a book that is! It's funny, weird and complex. I read it over Winter Quarter, and I absolutely loved it. If you've never read it, go out and pick it up. About a week ago, I was in dire need of new books to read. In a fit of "end of school year" enthusiasm, I packed my books. All of them. I still have a week of classes left.

I called Jonah from the bookstore, crouched before a row of Tom Robbins books, asking for his advice on which one to pick up. There were a few he recommended, but we finally settled on Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again -he has good taste in books. He got me Ubik by Philip K. Dick, too. He knows me too well. :)

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues is, like Jitterbug Perfume, funny, weird and complex. There's the Countess -a man. There's Julian -a full-blooded Indian who paints watercolors and is subject to horrible fits of asthma. There's the Rubber Rose Ranch, which was overthrown by women, and where those women wrangle whooping cranes. And, of course, there is Sissy Hankshaw and her incredible thumbs. Sissy is a hitchhiker by nature, because of her enormous thumbs, and it is around her that the story revolves.

I'm not too far into the book just yet, because I had a 3-day interlude from reading (Memorial Day weekend consisted of canoeing, climbing and a huge number of naps), but I plan on getting back into it today. Robbins is too good to pass up.

The Bell Jar

Sylvia Plath's only novel is next on my reading list. This is simply an anecdote to let you all know what a bookstore addict I am. I went out on Saturday morning to get a copy of the paper so I could finish a project I was working on. The student center where the papers usually are was closed for Memorial Day weekend, so I walked down to one of the many campus bookstores to look for a copy.

Bad idea.

15 minutes later, I left with the last copy of an an out-of-print limited edition version of The Bell Jar. I also remembered to get the paper.

Bookstores awaken my inner shopaholic. I cannot leave a bookstore without a book. Woe betide me (and my budget) if ever I get an ereader! I do at least read all of my purchases, so I wouldn't make purchases in vain...but my oh my would I make purchases. My wallet is cowering in terror right now.

Leaves & Flowers

Last but not least, I have announcement about Leaves & Flowers! Last night, I hired an assistant editor named Liz. She's going to be helping with promotion and some of the editing work for the journal. I am very excited to have her on board. She's on Twitter and runs a blog, and the Leaves & Flowers website always has updates and information. There will be a post about Liz up sometime later this week. Give her a shout and welcome her aboard!

Weekend Update

2010-05-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

I will probably not be updating again this weekend, but I didn't want to leave you all with nothing. Check out this post on my literary journal's website to see some of the writing and art blogs I use for inspiration and information.

See you next week!

Self-Publishing

2010-05-28T05:28:00.000-07:00

After my slightly feisty (okay, really feisty) post yesterday about Garrison Keillor's technophobia and elitism, I decided I should take a day to write about the self-publishing industry itself and what makes it so interesting and so challenging.

As someone who is heavily involved with the self-publishing scene, I am constantly trying to learn more about it. I'm always looking for solutions to problems I've had in the past and attempting to find the best possible way to produce my literary journal, Leaves & Flowers.

Self-publishing is an intense process for the writers who take it seriously. And these are the people I want to focus on.

Serious Self-Publishers

The people who are serious about self-publishing are the ones who are going to succeed.

Garrison Keillor -and anyone who knocks on self-publishing as a whole -assume that writers who self-publish simply find the first ebook website they can, slap an unpolished manuscript up onto it and flood the market with crap that nobody wants. That's simply not how it works.

The people who are serious about their writing -people who have written a number of books, perhaps published in the traditional way, have a degree in something related to writing, or are dedicated to and in love with their craft -are not going to just throw their novel up on a website without any planning.

While self-publishing and traditional publishing both have their challenges, self-publishing is just as difficult as going the "normal" route, and it has very unique challenges. The writer becomes much more than just a writer:

Editing falls on the writer's shoulders, unless she is willing to pay someone hundreds or even thousands of dollars for a professional edit. Many writers do opt for this, because a polished manuscript is essential for sales.
Designing the interior and exterior is also the writer's responsibility. For writers with no design experience, this can be a huge challenge as they experiment with different formats. The cover is one of the most important parts of selling a book online, because people do judge books by their cover -we all know it. Again, many writers choose to hire someone to do the designing for them, which is very expensive.
Finding a printer is the writer's responsibility. A self-publishing author cannot simply hand the manuscript over to a publisher and know that the publisher owns or works with a printing press. The writer must seek out the best quality printer -and sometimes reformat a book to fit their specifications. Printing self-published books is expensive, especially if you order multiple proof copies (for example: I ended up needing three separate proofs of the latest issue of Leaves & Flowers; each one cost me $15. $45 for one issue is a huge amount of money to a broke college student -for a professional writer, that number could rapidly get much, much larger).
Marketing and publicity are the responsibility of a writer. Many traditionally published writers are involved with their publicity -and many receive none at all -but in self-publishing, the risks are much greater. All of the marketing experience available to big publishers is unavailable to self-published authors, who are often working totally alone, promoting their books on Twitter, Facebook and other websites in order to create a fan base.
Self-published writers receive no advances, have no agents and often lack experience in the publishing field. It is a steep, steep learning curve.

Despite all of the things that hamper self-publishing authors, those of us who want to succeed in the path we have chosen make sure we know how to do so. There are classes, blogs, other writers, seminars, webinars, groups and even writers' guilds devoted solely to the self-publishing industry.

Those of us who choose to self-publish are not always in it because the manuscript "wasn't good enough" for a big publisher. And if it wasn't, it won't sell. Self-publishing, like traditional publishing, is a market. People who learn how to work the market effectively are going to succeed. They might not have a breakaway best-seller or a New York Times Book Review (yet!), but that's because this is a new market. It's just learning how to walk. Give it a few years, and it will be running faster than you can imagine.

I love it when I see authors who are willing to take the plunge and self-publish. It's risky, it's ballsy and it is more likely to fail. But it is also the up-and-comer, the next big thing. Getting in on it now and learning the ropes is an investment. Self-publishing is riding the new technology of ebooks and ereaders and the influx of self-publishing outlets in a way that the industry doesn't understand. And in the end, that's going to be their loss.

A Community of Writers

Those of us who self-publish form a very tight-knit community. People are more willing to interact, buy each others' books, promote one another and make friends. We play well with others, because taking the route of self-publishing requires you to engage with your community. Self-published authors can be cranky, argumentative and bitter, just like anybody, but on the whole, we are driven to help one another.

Traditionally published authors have a similar community, I'm sure, but it's always inspiring to me to see how much self-publishing authors are willing to do for one another. Building a fan base is part of succeeding, but it goes far beyond that in the self-publishing world: these writers build a community, too.

Conclusion

I have nattered on long enough for now. Self-publishing is a force to be reckoned with. It's like fire: if you learn how to use it and control it, you can make art. If you're just playing with it, which Garrison Keillor and his ilk assume is all we know how to do, you can be eaten alive. It's a challenge, and it's one that any serious writer should consider taking on.

Garrison Keillor: Technophobe

2010-05-27T04:46:00.000-07:00

Garrison Keillor showed his true colors in his column in the Baltimore Sun. By falling into that ever-so-cliched and offensive trap of the big-name writer, he not only lost a fan in me, he also revealed even more about the problems with the industry. What did he do?

He bagged on about all of the evils and horrors of the rise of self-publishing. No, I am not kidding. He claims that when everyone can publish their own work, no one will ever read it, it will all be poor quality, the publishing industry is going down in flames and oh my god people can publish their own books!

He has perfectly illustrated the mindset that so irritated us youngsters when our grandparents chided us for wanting cars to go to school. "Back in the day," he says, "we became writers through the laying on of hands. Some teacher who we worshiped touched our shoulder, and this benediction saw us through a hundred defeats." As though writers who go the self-publishing route have no love of language, no obsession with the telling of stories, no desire to succeed at all costs -and self-publishing, my friends, is costly.

He writes that 'back in his day,' authors had to work for their publishing deals -practically write in their own blood and sacrifice their children at the altar of the great god Literature. "Self-publishing will destroy the aura of martyrdom that writers have enjoyed for centuries," he tells us. Nobody likes a martyr anyway, so I'm failing to see how that's a bad thing.

Additionally, the very fact that big names in the traditional industry whine about self-publishers as though we are out to get them and destroy literature is a huge contributor to the failure of that very industry. Instead of working with self-publishers and self-publishing outlets to help improve the quality of writing and the access of writers to editors (who Keillor clearly assumes are an endangered species), the publishing industry runs around flapping its hands and refusing to adjust to the new model of the writing world. Technology marches on, you guys. Get on board and make it work for you, or become obsolete. People once thought the pen would be the downfall of academia. While academia certainly has its issues, none of them are pen-related. Stop hand-flapping and learn about the technology before you bash it.

But let's get on to to the meat of my complaint:

Not all self-published authors are the same.

By tarring all self-pubs with the same brush (namely that self-pubs are ignorant of the market and the conventions of writing, lacking the sense of martyrdom Keillor says is required for a proper author, and clearly holding the idea that not having to go through the exact same process he did means that whatever a self-pubber produces is obviously going to be garbage), Keillor discredits thousands of authors -like my friend Renda, to name just one -who have worked their way into the market, fighting tooth and nail every step of the way.

Yes, there certainly are people out there who will write a book, slap it up on an ebook site with no editing, no design knowledge or marketing tools and sell very few copies, mostly to blood relatives. Maybe that's what some people want -to share a book, perhaps a family story, with, you know, family. Other authors will simply lack the knowledge to market and design a book, and they will fail. But that is not the entirety of the self-publishing market, although Keillor would desperately like you to believe that it is.

There certainly are quality control issues with self-publishing. It is entirely possible to miss something in the editing process. I have done it myself, much to my everlasting embarrassment. It's a steep, steep learning curve, this self-publishing thing. It's a lot harder than traditional publishing, because the individual is writer, agent, editor, marketer, designer, type-setter and publisher all in one -and it all comes out of the author's own pocket. With traditional publishing, you polish and polish and hire an agent and work with that person to navigate a deal, and then maybe do some of the marketing to help earn back the advance that self-publishing writers sure aren't going to get.

This technophobic attitude is infuriating, because it is narrow-minded and ignorant of what it actually means to self-publish. Writers who are serious about the process often hire an agency -like DuoLit, who also did a blog post about the hatred directed at self-publishing writers -to help them during the process. And it's expensive. Upwards of $2,000 for a single book. That's not something that a hobbyist is going to go for. To get the services you need to make a good, professional, well-edited book, you have to be serious about it.

And the people who aren't -the people Garrison Keillor assumes make up the entirety of the self-publishing world -won't get read. If they don't learn the skills they need, or pay someone to provide them with those skills or knowledge, then their book will sit in obscurity on a digital shelf, unsold. Rather like books produced by, oh, say, the traditional publishing industry that don't sell well because they're terrible (it happens, although Keillor would like us all to believe that every traditionally published book is a triumph of literary and philosophical prowess).

To be a self-published author -a good one -takes time, it takes skill, energy and dedication; this is something most authors who succeed at self-publishing have in spades. They simply chose to go a different route. And different, according to Keillor, is bad. Very bad indeed.

Keillor protests that he is not an elitist at a couple of points throughout the column. And yet, his attitude is unmistakable: Oh say it isn't so -the philistines can publish books now. Wherever are my smelling salts and fainting couch? Verily, it is the downfall of all things literary. Nothing good can come of this. We are your readers and your paycheck, Keillor, we of the self-publishing market, and we are not pleased to be so disparaged.

We are simply choosing to earn our literary keep in a way that allows us to ride the wave of technology. If you fear that, fine. Cling to the old, dying model and shake your fist at us dang kids as we ride by in our shiny new ebooks, continuing to tell stories and spread them to those who need and want them, just as real writers have always done.

The Body Finder

2010-05-26T06:02:00.000-07:00

Today I want to write about The Body Finder and the idea of showing, not telling. I can already hear some of you whining, "But we know about that! That's so basic!" Well, stick with me. It's clear that this is a lesson writers still need to learn, myself included.

Show-don't-tell (SDT from now on) is something I struggle with, because I have a desire to over-explain things. I like making sure my readers know precisely what I mean, probably because I am argumentative and prefer to cover all points as explicitly as possible. With a blog and in academic papers, that's not a bad policy.

In fiction (and creative non-fiction), that's a very bad policy indeed. It leaves you with sentences like, "He was angry -very angry." Excuse me while I grab a pillow and take a snooze on that sentence.

How about this one? "His hands were clenched so tight that little half-moon cuts showed up in his palms."

That is an angry fellow. I would be sitting up and paying attention if that sentence was used. Telling a reader that someone is experiencing X is so much less engaging than showing a reader how X is being experienced.

So, on to The Body Finder and how SDT is related.

I don't read a lot of YA. It's not really my go-to genre -it's not that I don't like it, but I'm definitely not the target demographic. I generally enjoy what YA books I do pick up, but it's not a genre I actively seek out.

That being said, I have a question for avid readers of YA: Is it common practice for many YA writers to use italics to show a reader that something is important -very important -throughout most of a book? I suspect that it's not, because the SDT rule holds true in all creative writing, YA included; I have a feeling that the italics issue might be limited to a few books, like The Body Finder.

I will elaborate on it, but my main point today is this: If you have to use italics to show strong emotion or denote importance, you're doing it wrong. (By "it" I mean writing).

Using italics seems to me to be the very essence of breaking the SDT rule: you are telling people that something is important by setting it apart from the rest of the font -not by giving readers any details as to why this something is significant. That's a problem in a couple of big ways.

It's distracting. I use bold/italics on my blog for emphasis because this is largely fact- and opinion-based writing, and because I want to set main points apart from the rest of the text. It is intentionally distracting. In a novel, I don't want to be distracted from the flow of the writing -it needs to pull me in and keep me there because I'm too entranced to look away. Throwing in italics every few paragraphs is visually unappealing and breaks the flow of the writing.
It's lazy. If, as a writer, you are using italics to show that something is meaningful, you need to take a good look at why that is. It's probably because you're not using enough sensory detail to make the reader understand without having to be told. It's way simpler to use italics to tell someone this sentence is significant, but in the end, you're not really saying anything.

Now, I will have to grant that my copy of The Body Finder is an uncorrected proof. It is entirely possible that this overuse of italics was corrected in the final (anyone who's read it, please let me know). However, my experience reading the book was almost ruined by it.

The Body Finder has the worst case of italics overload I've ever seen. At minimum, 1 out of every 3 pages (not including the fully italicized "interior" pages, which are italicized for a valid reason) has at least one use of italics on it. Visually, that's horrible. It also tells me, at a glance, that I am being told things and not shown them.

Take this sentence, for example: "She needed to see what was there." Okay -at this point in the story, the reader already knows that Violet has the ability to sense the 'echoes' of dead things. It's almost a compulsion for her to seek them out. But telling the reader that she needed to see something does not evoke the emotion of need -it's just a lame signifier that "ooh this is important so pay attention."

Bummer. I want to see more of Violet's struggle between her desire to find these things (people) and put them to rest, and her desire to be a normal teen. Telling me she needed something doesn't do that.

Once in a while, the use of italics can be pulled off and done well. In a book like The Body Finder, where it's used to replace emotive writing, however, it takes the story and cheapens its emotional color and its fire.

That is especially sad, because The Body Finder (apart from a few cliched characters and adverb overuse almost as bad as the italics abuse) is actually a very good story. The plot is captivating enough that I was able to deal with the italics...on my first reading. My first reading took me about two hours. My second reading took me two days, because I was so frustrated with the constant italics that I would put the book down, which is bad. (See how annoying it gets?)

Readers -what's your take on the SDT rule and italics? Do you use italics effectively in your own creative writing? If so, how? Am I being too harsh? Is italics abuse common in YA novels?

Inked, by Renda Dodge

2010-05-25T05:04:00.001-07:00

Image Credit: Renda Dodge

My friend Renda Dodge, a two-time contributor to Leaves & Flowers and all around great writer, has just released the second edition of her novel Inked.

Some of you may remember my review of Inked from around the time of its initial release. I'll pick a few of the choice quotes, to refresh your memory and then bring in some new highlights:

First Review

Inked is about a young woman named Tori who has an undiagnosed personality disorder. She deals with it by getting a new tattoo every time there's a major shift in her life.

Tori is a fascinating character. She's rebellious, she's angry, she's scared -and she knows it, which makes the story even more interesting. Tori acknowledges her own faults throughout the story, but she's still too pissed off and frightened to allow herself much room for changing the parts of herself she doesn't like -not to say she doesn't, because she certainly does, but I got a feeling that Tori isn't ever going to totally break out of certain aspects of her personality (nor did I want her to).

Tori isn't a character I could see undergoing a traditional growth pattern in a novel -and that's definitely one of the strengths of the book; keeping Tori very much herself keeps the book human. This is not a hero story, this is a story of someone who is just a person trying to deal with their life and getting a little lost doing it. We've all been there in one way or another, and Tori reflects that back to the reader.

Updated Information

Some new things you might notice about Inked are the new cover, which is absolutely gorgeous, and it definitely adds a very visual element to the story. While I liked the abstract sort of approach to the first cover, the new cover is a picture of Tori herself, and that's great.

There are also some quotes on the book from reviewers, including one from yours truly, which makes me feel super important! :)

This second edition of Inked is a great-looking book. I encourage you to check out my initial review and buy a copy. Independent writers put a huge investment into their work, and Renda's work is totally deserving of your support. Inked is a great read, and it's not a book you will soon forget once you've picked it up.

Inked is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Books-a-Million for your purchasing pleasure.

Facebook and Damage Control

2010-05-25T04:23:00.000-07:00

Too little, too late. I just wanted to write a brief recap on my decision to quit Facebook from a few weeks back before I do my big blog post today, which will be much more awesome than this one.

Facebook is now scrambling to scale back the invasive privacy changes made several weeks ago, responding only belatedly to the angry public outcry about it. I see several reasons for the delay in their response: They wanted to wait and see if the complaining would die down as it always has (and to some extent, I think this probably happened) and they wanted to get as much out of the changes they made before they were forced to address them. That's speculation on my part, but given what we know about how badly Facebook treats its users, probably not wholly inaccurate.

For me, these revisions to the policy are too little, and way too late. I deleted my Facebook account about two weeks after I quit using it. I didn't deactivate it, I full-on no-holds-barred no-resurrection deleted it.

And you know what I found out? Even when you go in and go through the process of deleting it, Facebook keeps it on there for another two weeks, as though I cannot be trusted with my own decision and choices regarding my information. Given all of the recent actions of Facebook, that shouldn't have surprised me, but it did. And it made me mad.

Any chance of reconciliation between us evaporated at that point, no matter what changes they eventually decided to make.

I was a loyal user of Facebook for several years. I liked it, for the most part. I could chat with my parents and get information from groups and friends without too much effort. But that took a back seat to my concerns about the unethical and sly behaviors of Facebook. Any changes they try to make now are just a further slap in the face to people who are still using it, because we all know they'll just try to pull something else in a few months.

Conclusions

Without Facebook, I am a much more productive individual. I've been blogging regularly, writing every weekday for Suite101, getting my schoolwork done more quickly and even engaging in new creative writing endeavors. Facebook wasn't a useful tool for me anymore, and when they tried to make money off of my information, that was all it took for me to be able to say buh-bye.

Internet Grammar for Writers

2010-05-24T15:45:00.001-07:00

Today, I messed up my grammar on a comment on a blog post -I used "it's" instead of the possessive "its" and I am still embarrassed. I went back and added a comment to correct myself, but it's just one of those things where I wish I was flexible enough to kick my own face. I'll settle for blushing.

Bad internet grammar is one of those things that annoys me only peripherally anymore. I hate it, but I have slowly come to realize that going, "AAAAAH! Bad grammar -augh, die, die, die!" every time I see it is a) not constructive b) not going to fix anything and c) bad for my blood pressure. I'll certainly correct myself on those rare and awful instances when I do screw it up, but I'm not going to go out of my way to correct anyone else.

I don't know if that's necessarily right or not, however. Obviously if I appointed myself High Queen Internet Guerrilla Grammarian I would never get anything else done as long as I lived, and since I do have goals aside from being online all day, that's not feasible. What I don't know is how to constructively address it, because it is a problem, at least in my eyes.

One of my biggest frustrations is when I get on a blog -especially an author's blog -and read things like "summery" instead of "summary" and confusions of it's/its (guilty myself, I know, we'll get back to that), they're/there/their, you're/your, etc.

To me, that suggests that either this author is uneducated and doesn't know the grammar rules, or she's lazy and doesn't care. Neither option is going to make me rush out and buy this person's book, that's for sure.

With Twitter I am more forgiving -typos happen. They are so easy to make. But on a blog? You have time to review it. Checking over the writing even briefly takes so little time, and it can make a huge difference in the way a random reader and potential customer perceives you. Here is where we're getting back to my screw-up this morning. The difference between a blogger/commenter with a typo I can respect and one that I can't is whether or not they address it.

Obviously on a blog, if there aren't any errors, there's nothing to address -but what that does show is attention to detail and an effort in editing. In comments, a simple "Oops! I meant 'its' instead of 'it's'!" does the trick. Just letting a glaring error sit there is awful, at least to me. It encourages all of us to be lax with our writing and our attention to detail, and as a writer, that seems like a fate worse than death.

----

What do you think? Am I too much of a stickler on this issue? Are internet grammar mistakes forgivable and acceptable because of the relaxed format of the internet, or does our appearance as writers matter more?

The Time Traveler's Wife

2010-05-23T15:09:00.000-07:00

This will be our last look at The Time Traveler's Wife, which I finished last night. And when I say I finished it, I mean I bawled my way through the last 20 pages or so.

I can't remember the last time a book made me actually cry, or if a book has ever made me cry so hard.

And that's a good thing!

The book is fantastic. It's realistic, it's emotional, it's incredibly well-constructed and it flows so nicely that you can get lost in it for hours and feel as though no time at all has passed. Clare and Henry are some of the best characters I have come across in quite some time.

And that's what I want to focus on for the rest of this post: Characters.

They're real people. I don't mean that literally, of course, but in a literary sense, they are so real they might as well be flesh and blood. They are flawed -deeply, secretly and at times embarrassingly flawed. They lie, they hurt each other, they fight and they make mistakes.

That is one of the golden parts of this book. Clare and Henry are more passionately in love -and in odder circumstance -than many other characters in modern novels, but their relationship is still as fraught as any other real life relationship. They have Henry's chrono-displacement to worry about, but they also have "normal" problems like trying to have a baby, dealing with a small living space, difficult family relationships, illness, silly little fights over who's going to vacuum (they hire a cleaning service).

Those are the things, as much as the oddity of Henry's condition, that readers are going to take away from this story. They are the things that make The Time Traveler's Wife such a powerful read.

Writers, we hear all the time that our characters must be believable, and that point hits home so clearly in this book. If Clare and Henry fit together easily all the time, or if their families were stereotypically normal -or predictably flawed -this book would not pack the punch that it does.

I don't want to give away any spoilers, but I will say this: even if the book had ended differently than it had, and it ends on an amazingly poignant note, I still would have cried. I still would have put it down feeling slightly dazed by the writing. I would still be looking very closely at my own writing for the emotional power I found here.

Questions

What were your perceptions of the characters in this book?
Writers, how do you achieve emotional complexity without detracting from your plot or goals?
What did you think of the rest of the book?

A Call for Books

2010-05-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I embarked on an epic project. I pulled all of the books off of my two bookshelves (one is this cute metal contraption and the other a stack of big apple crates) in my (miniature) dorm room and put them in other boxes for transportation home. I tore down half of the cute metal contraption and put all of my canned food into the apple crates so it's not all sitting under my bed anymore. My room feels much larger.

The problem?

I'm not leaving for another 2 1/2 weeks and all my books are in boxes, except for The Time Traveler's Wife (which I am still really enjoying), Clever Tricks to Stave Off Death (because you just never know when you need some Wondermark) and the books I read to Jonah when we're driving places (because we are just that awesome).

Once I have finished The Time Traveler's Wife, I will have nothing new to write about for quite some time. I could regale you with tales of my 7-10 page essay on the relationship between swearing and censorship, but that's due on Monday, so we won't get much out of it.

No, what I really need are some book suggestions from you, my readers. The library here is composed primarily of older and largely academic books, but novels do pop up from time to time. If you suggest something, and I can get my hands on it, I'd love to read it.

Additionally, send me free online books or samples or magazines that you want to give exposure to! I would love to review some things I've never seen before, especially if they are totally wicked awesome. Hook me up. I'm all about spreading the love.

The only caveat to this is that I do have 3 final exams, one on June 7 and two on June 9. I might not be doing updates on those days or during the weekend right before them, depending on how much studying I have to do (odds are it won't be a terrible amount, but I am a pretty thorough student. Me no likey the bad grades.).

So there you have it! Load me up with some good things to read and talk about -the next couple of weeks will be fueled by you (or else I'll be scrambling to find things to discuss.)

The Time Traveler's Wife and Magical Realism

2010-05-20T05:35:00.000-07:00

I just started reading this book for the first time yesterday -I'm not even sure where I got it. I must have bought it during one of my crazed book-buying sessions. I've never seen the movie, and I'm not too far into the book yet, so I'm still just getting started. I'm certainly enjoying what I've read so far, though, and I'm looking forward to continuing.

One thing that did catch my eye was the idea of chrono-impairment as a genetic disorder. That raises some red flags for me. I'm a little wary of using science to justify magical realism occasionally, because I have seen it crash and burn and ruin books.

I'm all for magical realism -I think it's a fun genre and a good answer to fantasy, which can begin to come across as repetitive, stale or uniformly Tolkien-esque over time. However, using science to "explain" magic sort of takes away the magic part of it -that's basically what science does now: we use the scientific method to examine claims and better understand the world. It's the main reason there are no witch burnings in the developed world: we are at least skeptical and informed enough to know that magic is not actually real.

Magic is a great tool in a story that uses it well. It can definitely become a crutch, but well-written magic is just a lot of fun. However, combining modern science and magic can lead to a few problems, by:

-Destroying the mystery by over-explaining how said mystery occurs.
-Irritating scientifically literate readers by fudging the facts on certain scientific concepts (which is not always a problem, but can be really really annoying).
-Making the magic actually impossible by the rules of the universe or scientific explanations that have already been imposed by the author (I have seen this happen several times, and it will make me stop reading a book).

There has only been a very brief mention of the concept of chrono-impairment, and it looked like it's going to be well handled by the text, so I'm not too worried about it just yet. I can handle the intersection of magic and science if it's well done. I'm really hoping The Time Traveler's Wife lives up to my expectations.

What are your thoughts on magical realism and science+magic?

The Importance of Language

2010-05-19T14:09:00.001-07:00

This is going to be brief because I have an exam tomorrow, but I just came across an article description that really bothered me.

According to Yahoo!'s homepage, "Some contestants on 'The Biggest Loser' drop more than 100 pounds and even find love."
(Article here.)

I'm sorry, but what does that mean? Are they referencing a relationship that blossomed because of the show? I wouldn't know; I don't own a television and only watch Castle on Hulu. The wording seems to me to suggest that only people who are thin are able to find love.

Shouldn't we be beyond propagating this stereotype by now? It's unhealthy, especially for the young men and women who read that, whether they're overweight or not. It reinforces the idea that only thin people are beautiful people and only beautiful people can be in love. I realize that the people on that show are often dangerously and unhealthily obese and it's a good thing to be in shape, but the average reader of that remark gets another "ping" of positive reinforcement for the skinny stereotype.

I'm underweight (thanks to my university's dining policy) and I still find that comment to be extremely offensive and thoughtless.

What do you think? Innocent wording or potentially deliberate propagation of an unhealthy body image?

Truman Capote

2010-05-18T12:46:00.000-07:00

Image credit: PBS

Truman Capote is probably best known (certainly by me) for writing the book Breakfast at Tiffany's, on which the movie is also based. However, Capote wrote more than a book about a high-class hooker: he also wrote In Cold Blood, a "nonfiction novel" that revolutionized the true crime genre and made it financially viable, popular and more interesting to the public.

In Cold Blood tells the story of the Clutter family, murdered in the middle of the night in a small rural town in Kansas. Capote follows the story from a background on the Clutters to the eventual discovery and execution of the killers.

What results is a mostly-true horror story of the motives, mistakes and history behind the Clutter murders. Capote's portrayal of the Clutter family is as sensitive as his portrayal of the two men who carried out the gruesome crime, and their disappointment with a robbery gone wrong.

Although Capote received some criticism for fudging the facts in In Cold Blood, a majority of the story is true. Interviews with relatives and neighbors of the Clutter family and the murderers themselves helped Capote paint a picture of a murder and a story that won't be forgotten, once read.

Capote himself was a fascinating person. He was born in 1924, raised by his elderly aunts and cousins, and eventually moved to New York. He was openly homosexual in a time when it was much less acceptable to be that open, but despite that and despite complaints about his frivolous and sometimes mean-spirited behavior, he became very popular among the New York elite for a time.

Although In Cold Blood was Capote's most famous nonfiction book, he did do other works in the genre, including one called Answered Prayers, which lost him many of his friends and his social standing because of the details it revealed about many people and the scandal it caused.

Capote died in 1984.

For more information, check out the PBS article about him -which I used as a resource for this piece -and this article in Salon.

Waste

2010-05-17T17:39:00.000-07:00

During my recent trip to D.C. as a chaperon for a group of eighth graders, I took a couple of books with me. One was Neil Gaiman's American Gods, about which I have already written at length. The other was a book I picked up on a whim at a sidewalk sale for a local bookstore.

Before I start talking about it, I'd like to make a note about myself: I am incapable of resisting sidewalk book sales. I had left class with a half hour to spare before my next one and every intention of getting myself a coffee, until I came upon the sale. Books were anywhere from 10-60% off, and half an hour later, I walked to class with three books and a calendar (and no coffee). I am also utterly unable to leave a bookstore without making a purchase.

Two of the books I picked up (and the calendar) were for my mom. The other was one that I picked up on a whim, because it spoke to an interest that has recently taken root (that's a pun and you'll see why soon; I am sorry): sustainable food and agriculture. I even wrote an article recently on permaculture greenhouses, and I'm working on creating a permaculture-type gardening scheme with my boyfriend. Mom has graciously said I can use a portion of the back yard to experiment, which is cool.

The book is called Waste, by an author named Tristram Stuart.

I will warn you right now that if you are not into being horrified and slightly ashamed of yourself, Waste is probably not for you. And yet if you were here in the room with me, I would insist that you read it and pass it along to your friends once you finished, because I think it's that important.

Waste is about the absolutely disgusting amount of food that is simply thrown away as garbage, all over the world. When you hear about starving people in far-flung portions of Africa and other impoverished areas of the world, there's often a sort of automatic assumption that there is simply not enough food to go around. No explanation or solution is ever offered in these cases -a request for money, perhaps, but no guarantee of anything actually resulting from it.

However, the food that is thrown away by people like me, and you, and most everyone we know, is enough to feed every hungry person on the planet several times over.

Think about that. Waste is absolutely a book that will make you think about that fact, in multiple ways. Stuart demonstrates a plethora of possible solutions for this global wasting of food that are not only relatively easy to accomplish, they don't even require that much sacrifice on the part of the average person, which should make the solutions an easy sell.

Reducing food waste would not only help feed people who otherwise cannot afford to eat, it would free up agricultural land for other purposes. Stuart goes through numerous options for how to deal with food waste, from South Korea's draconian legislation that makes it illegal to dispose of food in the garbage to using food waste to create biogas and feed livestock.

In addition to the shocking statistics about food waste Stuart presents (for example: for every carrot or potato eaten, 1 or more were discarded as esthetically imperfect and left to rot in a field or put in landfills), he's really quite a good writer. That can make all the difference in reading something like this. Stuart is able to blithely jump from raging about the wasteful practices of an industry to describing an individual with surprising empathy and some wonderfully evocative imagery.

Stuart was, himself, a freegan for a period of time -he lived almost entirely by rummaging through Dumpsters and trash bins outside of grocery stores and restaurants. A vast majority of the food thrown away by these places is perfectly edible and safe for human consumption -but it is simply discarded.

Waste is not an easy book to read from an emotional standpoint. I found myself getting swept up by Stuart's passionate writing, all while thoroughly enjoying the reading process. I was disappointed when I finished today, because I was totally engrossed in the topics he discusses. During and after my experience with Waste, I am taking a very serious look at my own eating habits. I've started being much more careful not to buy or put on my plate any more food than I can eat, and monitoring how much of anything I waste. I would absolutely recommend Waste to anyone with environmental interests or concern about the future of global food production.

In addition to that, there is a great documentary you can watch on YouTube about permaculture and the future of farming in the UK. The first of the 5 videos (roughly 10 minutes each) can be found here.

Stuff White People Like

2010-05-05T09:35:00.000-07:00

Stuff White People Like is, at times, too funny for words. At other times, I find myself squirming in discomfort when I recognize something in the book that is true of me (I am, after all, a White Person, according to the book). The book could be retitled Stuff Hipsters Like and still be pretty accurate -the book, although ostensibly about the Generic White Person, seems to be aimed at a pretty specific demographic of individuals (people from ages 20-35 or 40).

The writing is slyly funny at times, while at other times it seems as though one is being hit over the head with the..errrr...humor (yes, we get it, White People are responsible for colonialism, slavery and a number of other global ills, but that's not a joke that can smoothly be worked into every category of things White People like). At all points, the book tries -and usually succeeds -to engage the reader in its tongue-in-cheek style of humor.

Sentences like, "Did you know that if you are able to acquire a friend of every race then you are officially designated as the least racist person on earth?" have me laughing out loud every time I read the book. It is actually very clever, and it's a fun way to be able to laugh at White People and the lens through which White People are viewed (and how we sometimes actually act).

It's a quick, funny read and I would definitely recommend it to anyone in need of a (self-conscious) laugh.

Security Blanket Books

2010-05-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

I have started thinking of some of my favorite books as my 'security blanket books.' These are books that I run to as I would run into the arms of an old friend I hadn't seen for years. I can allow myself to be totally absorbed in these books, because I am as familiar with the details and the story as though I have actually been to places like Aravis in A College of Magics, which I am currently reading for the eighth or ninth time.

These are the best kinds of books to have around when traveling, upset, sick or tired. When you are in any of these states, it's hard to let a new book really absorb you. If you're traveling, you have too much else going on to really get totally lost in an unfamiliar book -you're already in unfamiliar physical territory, so it's nice to find some familiar mental space. The same goes for when you're upset, sick or tired -your headspace is out of whack, and reading a new book is often a disaster, at least for me.

That's why I love having old books around, books I've read so many times I know the best lines by heart. Lots of my security blanket books have been around since I was 14 or 15. They're old pals.

A College of Magics is definitely one of those. It's a great fantasy/alternate history/steampunk-ish book with a great plot and very subtle writing. Sometimes even now, after I've read the book a dozen times, I find myself going, "Oh, that's what that meant!" I know I am a different reader each time I approach a book, which is why I am able to read and re-read and re-re-read without ever getting bored, but ACoM really does have something special and shifty about it.

It's a great book if you ever have a chance to pick it up.

What are your security blanket books?

"Coraline" and "The Better Part of Darkness"

2010-04-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I read Coraline. I've seen the movie probably half a dozen times -it's a great, great movie. My boyfriend got it for me for my birthday. He spoils me. :)

I had never read the book, though, which I considered an egregious error on my part. I always try to read the book first. Plus, it's by Neil Gaiman, who is one of my favorite favorite favorite writers in the entire world. I could write an entire post about how great he is. Also, follow him on Twitter if you get the chance.

Coraline

It's short. I am not exaggerating when I say I finished the book in 45 minutes. I had 15 minutes to read before a couple of my classes, and I finished the rest of the book in the half hour before I went to sleep last night. It is a fast read, which is great if you need a book for a doctor's appointment wait or are looking for something that will suck you in but won't keep you from getting work done.

It's a really fun read. It's creepy, it's sweet, it's scary and it's well-crafted. I am an avid fan of well-written books, and Coraline totally fits that bill.

One of the things that surprised me was that the character Wybie -one of my favorite characters from the movie -is not in the book. Coraline is almost totally isolated for the entire book, which somehow adds to the psychological creepy-factor. Wybie helps divert some of that frightening feeling of the book just by his existence. In the book, Coraline is all on her own, and that is very intense.

If you're even a little bit interested in Gaiman's work, Coraline is a good place to start.

The Better Part of Darkness

This is a book I won a few months ago, but just now picked up. I've had a lot of academic and other reading sort of butt in between when I won it and when I decided to actually crack it open.

It was totally worth the wait, and I'm kicking myself for not tearing into this book earlier. I started it around 9:30 this morning, and after a solid hour of reading, I'm about 1/3 of the way through it. It is a kick-ass thriller/mystery/fantasy+science blend, and I cannot put it down.

It has a nearly pulpy feel at times, other times it almost delves into romance novel territory (the word "throbbing" was not used, but was absolutely implied) and above all it just a great romp through a world that has largely stopped making sense for Charlie, the main character. She's died and been brought back, she's divorced, she's trying to figure out who's dealing a deadly drug called ash -oh, and two parallel realms have been discovered, and their inhabitants have begun to live in our world.

This is one book that I'm really hoping has a sequel. There are a million places this story could go, and I am thoroughly enchanted.

Writing

2010-04-26T07:07:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a nonfiction creative writing workshop this quarter. I haven't had a creative writing class since last spring, and that's been really hard. My creative drive kind of went pbbbbbtt as a result, which was really interesting, in several ways.

I Don't Like People

Amazing, but true. As a general rule, I am anti-social, misanthropic and live like a hermit. I stay in my (roommate-free) dorm room, and most of my associations are with people on Twitter (not Facebook, anymore). I am not a people person, a social butterfly or the life of the party.

I adore watching people, eavesdropping and generally being nosy, but put me in a group, and I clam up almost immediately.

However, it seems that I need to be uncomfortable to write. For whatever reason, it really helps me to be involved in a group where I am forced to write creatively and actually share my work. I've started feeling creative again, which is not something that writing for Demand Studios inspires (that just keeps money in the bank).

Group Work

Normally, I don't like group work. I find that working with other people generally loads responsibility onto one person (often me, because, let's face, I don't like failing). Workshops, however, are totally different. Everyone is responsible for their own work, and just listens to and comments on everyone else's. That's a great environment.

As much as I love Twitter (and trust me, I love Twitter), it's not the same environment as a workshop. The #amwriting hashtag is excellent for inspiration and connecting with other writers, but 140 characters doesn't give you much room for writing creatively, unless you write in haiku (which I've seen, and which is genuinely pretty neat).

Why Workshops are Great

Workshops are important for writers (and readers) for a couple of reasons.

They force you to share your work, often out loud. It's impossible to overstate how helpful it can be to read your own work out loud, or hear someone else read it. The cadence in your head might not translate when read aloud -your syntax might be off, or your voice might not come through. Reading out loud helps you find rough spots in your writing.
Working with other writers helps you develop your own writing. If you only ever read what you write or read published writers, you're going to notice the dichotomy between your rough drafts and a polished, published manuscript, and it will make you feel bad eventually -even if you don't realize it. Working with other writers helps you keep a good perspective on your own work. Everyone is constantly developing, and seeing other writers work through their frustration can help you work through yours.
It's fun. Writers are solitary beasts by nature, and it's really nice to go to an environment where you're surrounded by similar beasts. Even if you contribute little to chit-chat or non-writing discussion, it's just enjoyable to be around people with the same inky passion.
You can steal other people's ideas. Seriously. All great art is stolen, used and made new. Originality comes from putting your seal on something, not coming up with something no one has thought of before (because someone, somewhere has already thought of it).

Finding Local Groups

This can be hard, if not impossible. I'm lucky enough to be in a university setting and engaged in a major where I am required to take at least 3 workshops (one fiction, one non-fiction and one poetry). There are also on-campus writing groups and other writers I can meet up with when I get into a rut.

In a local setting, it can be really challenging to locate a group unless you know someone who's in it. Your best bet is to hit up the local library and any small indie coffee shops that may be in your area. Ask the librarians and baristas if there are any writing groups that meet and when. Check group postings on library and coffee shop bulletin boards for notices about groups.

If all else fails, start your own! Advertise it on Twitter, with your library and indie coffee shops, and get your friends and strangers involved. Starting your own group gives you a great amount of control over the direction and rules of the group, whatever they may be, which is often a good thing to have.

Leaves & Flowers

2010-04-25T16:32:00.001-07:00

Some of you are familiar with my literary journal, Leaves & Flowers. I'm pleased to announce that the second issue was published today! It's a very gorgeous journal -this issue has artwork in addition to the cover art and a whole slew of great poetry and stories by a group of really great artists.

L&F also has its own blog, where you can check out feature posts on the writers and editors, and purchase a PDF copy of the first issue at a reduced price.

Check it out!

Catch-22

2010-04-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and had to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to."
-Joseph Heller, Catch-22

Originally titled Catch-18, Catch-22 is a book that everyone should read at least once. The phrase Catch-22 has essentially come to mean "damned if you do, damned if you don't," and that's basically the premise of the entire book. Everyone is trapped in their own little contradictory, absurd course of action, and no one quite knows how to get out of it.

I haven't read Catch-22 since high school, and I grabbed it on a whim while I was home last weekend. The book has a strange effect on me. I really resist picking it up, but once I have convinced myself to start reading, I'll knock out 50 or so pages at a clip. I'm about two-thirds finished.

One of the best parts about re-reading this book is noticing what I noticed on the first go-round. I underlined things I liked, made notes in the side (most of which were comparisons to books I'd read or films I'd watched for a class on existentialism. Has anyone seen Cool Hand Luke? If you've seen that and read Catch-22, you'll understand); this time, I am pausing at a lot of those moments and reflecting. I'm also noticing quite a lot more than I did the first time.

It's hard to overstate how good Heller's writing actually is. Most writers couldn't maintain this level of frustrated absurdity within a plot and not lose every single reader. In addition to how utterly annoying the events are -for the characters and the reader, by proxy -the book is extremely funny. I have laughed out loud almost every time I pick the book up to read it. Heller has humans to a T in the book.

The absurdity of life, bureaucracies, war and a number of other topics are all addressed by Catch-22 (often as a Catch-22). It's impossible to read the book and not be changed by it in a significant way.

Why I Gave Up Facebook

2010-04-23T05:26:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many of you know -or care, really -about the new privacy changes Facebook has made (again), but you should. Link 1, Link 2 and Link 3.

The Rant

For those of you who don't want to read the links, I'll sum it up briefly: the new changes mean that if you "Like" (instead of "Become a Fan" of) pages and certain links, advertisers can store your information. Forever. Additionally, anything you "Like" that your friends "Like" or that they tag you in is also open to advertisers. Forever. Even if you set your privacy meter to "schizophrenic paranoia" like I have and make it so that your friends can't link to any of your personal information, it can still get out there. Pictures, notes, comments -advertisers now have essentially unlimited access to everything.

I have a problem with that. I realize that yes, it's the information age and there really is no privacy (Googling my name yields several hundred thousand results, most of them associated with my writing, blogging, past spelling bee shenanigans and other achievements). A dedicated stalker could find out whatever he wanted to know in about 5 minutes.

However, the whole premise of Facebook used to be that you made connections with the people you wanted to connect to, and no one else could have access to you if that's how you chose to operate. You can't find my Facebook account if you Google it, because I set my privacy settings that high. I put more personal info on Facebook than anywhere else on the internet, because frankly, Anonymous Internet People scare me, Corporate Advertising Schemes annoy me and I'm just not comfortable with having that much of my information out there.

Every application you allow access to your account -everything from quizzes to games to adorable bumper stickers -can now store and sell your information indefinitely.

So, a few days ago, I posted a notice stating that I would be leaving Facebook. This morning, I deleted almost all of my personal information from my account. I removed every single application from my account, and I logged out. I removed the quick-link-tab thing from my bookmarks bar. And I'm probably not going back. You may notice, and rightly, that I did not actually delete my account. I'm holding out. Perhaps Facebook will regain some integrity and stop selling its users information to advertisers. I'm not holding my breath.

What Does that Mean for You Readers?

It's actually a good thing. Now, the 2-ish hours I spent on Facebook every day can be devoted to something else. I had my first Pavlovian impulse to check Facebook about 15 minutes ago -the slight twitch of the wrist, heading for the slot where the link used to be. I was not working on anything, so why not check Facebook? It's what I have done for months. In between articles, homework, phone calls, online Scrabble games, I'd get on Facebook.

Now, I don't have that distraction. To satisfy the impulse of doing something for the sake of doing it, which is the main reason I used Facebook anymore, I wrote. I wrote this.

What I'm saying is, without Facebook, I'll be blogging more.

Every time I have an impulse to get on my account, I'm going to replace it with something constructive. Reading a chapter of a book. Writing another article. Working on my literary journal (which is going to be published soon, by the by -check out its blog). Working on the blog. Doing my homework, cleaning my room, editing my latest novel, organizing my bookshelves...you get the idea.

I am going to miss Facebook. I know that. But I'm hoping that it will be a positive change for me, for the blog, and in general.

Whether you choose to take a similar path is your decision -this wasn't meant to be persuasive. It is meant to make you think a little, though. What exactly do you use Facebook for? And is it worth having them sell your information to anyone who is willing to pay for it?

I'll be back soon with an actual update on books -the impulse to get on Facebook won't stay gone for long.

Carl Sagan

2010-04-10T16:51:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a brief post -I've got quite a lot going on this weekend academically.

My wonderful boyfriend bought me a copy of Carl Sagan's book Cosmos, and wow. I have always loved reading about planets and outer space and that sort of thing, and Carl Sagan is the perfect author for that. His enthusiasm for knowledge is infectious, as is his deeply genuine pleasure in connecting with readers through his words.

Sagan died 14 years ago, and I'm just now discovering his writing, which is sad to me. I'm already a huge fan. I've bough his book The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it as well.

Sagan is the perfect author for the science dilettante. He gives the reader a huge amount of technical information in a simply eloquent way that makes it accessible to any reader, however basic their understanding of the actual science being discussed. Cosmos is a truly inspiring book for an examination of the worlds around us, and every time I read it, I get a thrill.

The Demon-Haunted World is slightly broader in its topics. It is a collection of essays based on the importance of science, which includes dispelling scientific myths. Sagan does so in his characteristically pleasant way. Even when he is writing about something that would be offensive to, say, a Biblical literalist, I think it would be impossible to actually be angry at him. He writes in such a calm, placid way that it's like reading a song.

I cannot recommend his books enough to anyone who has even the barest interest in the sciences.

Joseph Campbell: The Power of Myth

2010-04-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

It's a Latin phrase that means "Books have their own fates." I will probably be posting more pictures as it heals more, since there's still a bit of purple in the white ink.
The inspiration for the tattoo came from the excellent book "The Library at Night" by Alberto Manguel -check it out if you get the chance.

While I was home over break, my grandma came up to visit. She, my mom, my sister and I all had sushi (first time for Grandma!) and she brought books for both me and my little sister. Indicative of how well she knows us, she brought my sister religious devotionals and she brought me books that examine religion from historical and scientific perspectives.

She is one savvy lady.

I just finished reading "The Power of Myth" (PoM from now on) by Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyer. The whole book is a transcription of a series of conversations the two men had over a 24-hour period. Apparently there's a 6-hour PBS special out there somewhere from this period, too. I'm not sure whether I would be able to watch all 6 hours, but it would be worth a shot.

PoM is a really interesting book in a lot of ways. Joseph Campbell is obviously a brilliant man. He's very well read, and has a broad, deep understanding of the mythological significance of many religions and stories and cultural ideas from all over the world. Reading this transcription was fascinating -I would shoot through 60 pages over lunch and hardly notice.

Campbell was a professor, a lecturer, which accounts for his ability to hold an audience captive. I've never read anything he wrote, but if he writes as well as he speaks, I would say based on that alone I'd be willing to read it. He is engaging, able to draw connections between ideas at the drop of a hat and just excellent at thinking on his feet. I have no idea how much research or preparation he did specifically for this conversation, but Campbell's intelligence and understanding were nonetheless impressive.

I also like the central message of many of Campbell's views: follow your bliss. What a great sentiment, at its core. Do what makes you happy. I would add a caveat: Follow your bliss, but do no harm to others in seeking it.

All that being said, I did however stop at multiple points during the book and cry "Bullshit!" I realize the man understands way more than I do about world mythologies, but it seems like somewhere between being brilliant and reading myths, he forgot that most people don't think the way he does. Reading Campbell was, for me, like riding a train with sections of the track missing. I'm with him on this point, on the next point and for the next four or five points and then suddenly he's off the rails and I'm left clutching my head, wondering where the logic went.

Perhaps it's me, reading it from my atheistic perspective that I see a huge disconnect between saying myths are great metaphors while living in a world where people see those metaphors as being really literally true and using that as a justification for murder and hatred. It seems as though, in his academic worldview, Campbell neglects the millions of people who see myth as reality (and sometimes it seems like Campbell himself sees myths as being actually true -it's hard to know where the line is in his view, because he waffles quite a bit between arguing that myths are simply metaphors and that myths are actually true in some fundamentally literal way), and who would interpret his words as either a horrifying attack on their beliefs, or a justification of them.

For me, that made the book frustrating at times. Campbell argues a number of points about religious myths that, in their mythical metaphorical way, do a good job of telling a story -but he doesn't ever look beyond that at the faces of people who are saying, "These aren't stories, this is history." There's a huge gap between Campbell's interpretation of myth and the religious interpretation of myth that never gets addressed. It doesn't necessarily have to be addressed, and I'm not saying that majority rule makes one interpretation right as it's possible to interpret myths in about, oh, 6 billion different ways, but it makes the read irritating every now and again.

On the whole, though, PoM was an excellent introduction to Campbell's work. I'm hoping that, as I continue to explore his writing, I'm able to come across a place where he addresses the questions I had about his interpretations of myths vs. established religious dogma. More than that, though, I'm looking for more encouragement to seek out my bliss.

2010-03-16T17:15:00.000-07:00

I have been absolutely terrible about sticking to my schedule. This past quarter -with the exception of my class on Shakespeare's comedies -turned me into an angry (angrier), embittered person, jaded with academia and loathing every minute I spend sitting alone in my room on campus (and that is a lot of minutes, seeing as I am for all intents and purposes a hermit). However, as of 3:30 or so tomorrow afternoon, this quarter will be complete. I will move on to bigger and better things, like taking a class on the history of the English language. I honestly cannot express how excited I am by that. People who know my history with spelling bees will understand. So next quarter should bring more updates, as I'm hoping my faith in the power of the educational system to actually teach me will be restored.

For right now, though, I have nothing of real interest to say -I have been doing very little aside from studying over the past several days, and my reading material is stretching a little thin. Next quarter should be better. :)

Perhaps I need to hire someone to beat me when I miss a blogging deadline...

Update

2010-02-28T17:21:00.000-08:00

I am currently reading a fantastic book called "Infidel" by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, who is one of the most fascinating individuals. I've known about her and the book for quite some time, but never got around to reading the book -I'm grateful to have the chance to be forced to read it for my writing class, since it was truly worth the wait.

Ali's autobiography details her upbringing in Somalia in a strict Muslim family (she also underwent female genital mutilation, much like Mende Nazer), her flight from an arranged marriage, her time as a Dutch politician and the making of the film that has changed her life -she is under guard 24/7, and the number of death threats directed at her is immense. The friend with whom she made the video was assassinated.

It's a really good look at religion, politics, education and personal integrity, and I would advise anyone to check it out.

Additionally, if you have never read the book "Jitterbug Perfume", go out and buy it and read it along with "Infidel". The two are totally different, however; "Jitterbug Perfume" is a riotous look at religion, politics, education and personal integrity. Hey, wait...

For all that they share themes in common, there are significant differences between the two. "Infidel" is a book that had me covering my mouth in shock, while "Jitterbug Perfume" had me rolling on the ground, crying tears of mirth. It's one of the more fantastic books I have ever read -simultaneously hilarious and utterly philosophical.

It covers several thousand years, deals with gods, immortal men and, significantly, perfume.

I refuse to divulge any of its delicious secrets, since they are yours to discover.

A Digression

2010-02-10T16:22:00.000-08:00

This is not the usual, I know, but I think that this is an important issue. This is a piece I did for a writing class I'm taking, and it was largely spurred on by another girl in the class. During our reading of the book "Slave" I was especially incensed by the practice of female genital mutilation that occurred in Mende Nazer's culture -apart from the fact that she was kidnapped and made a slave, I felt that her own family had perpetrated an act of horrible abuse by allowing this to be done to her.

When I expressed this to my peer editing group during class, I was shocked (not to mention infuriated) by hearing another girl defend this horrible violation of human rights. She said that, as a privileged white Westerner, I cannot judge another culture's religious practices because "it's like putting up a Christmas tree."

I'm sorry, but if you can think of another human being aside from Hitler who might think cutting off a child's genitals is similar to putting up a fake tree and decorating it with lights, please produce them. I would be amazed. I am still horrified that she thought she was drawing an apt comparison between two types of religious traditions, as well. One was adapted from pagan religions as a form of celebration (trees). The other is a form of patriarchal child abuse and sexual control (FGM).

For my analytical essay, therefore, I focused on this issue. Please feel free to share the information in this piece with anyone, as female genital mutilation is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.

Religious and Cultural Practices in Violation of Human Rights: Female Genital Mutilation

Every day, around 6,000 girls undergo a centuries’ old religious and cultural practice. Many of them are too young to understand its significance or the impact it will have on the rest of their lives, but they are told that the ceremony is a beneficial one, and that it will contribute to their future happiness and marriage. An estimated 100- to 140-million women living today have already undergone the ceremony referred to worldwide as female genital mutilation. This practice is disguised as an important social or religious rite when it is in fact a violation of human rights and a dangerous, at times deadly, degradation of women.

According to the World Health Organization, female genital mutilation is recognized internationally as being a human rights violation; the practice is not limited to predominately religious societies and occurs even in developed nations, usually within immigrant families, according to Fran Hosken and Feminist.com (Hosken 1). The procedure reinforces religious and cultural stereotypes and subjugation of women, and causes unimaginable pain and suffering that can last a lifetime. The right to physical integrity and freedom from harm and degrading treatment are denied to women who have undergone female genital mutilation, and as the practice is most commonly performed on children, it is also a form of child abuse.

Although female genital mutilation is defended by proponents as a religious custom designed to make women suitable for marriage, it is in fact meant to force women into submissive roles, prevent them from experiencing pleasure during sex and in many cases, the procedure leaves the girl severely impaired for the rest of her life. Religion is not a valid justification of any process that violates human rights, as can be seen from examples throughout history. The Holocaust and modern genocide, as well as slavery, were and are all motivated at least in part by religion.

Many individuals justify the mutilation of female genitalia by using cultural or religious history; Mende Nazer, in reflecting on her own mutilation in the book Slave: My True Story comments that, “My parents really, truly believed they were doing the best for me” (Nazer 83). In religious cultures that practice female genital mutilation, a woman who has not been mutilated is considered unclean and will in many cases be shunned by her family and village, according to Amnesty International.

However, the practice of female genital mutilation is not one that offers any physical or psychological benefits to the girls and women who are mutilated outside of social acceptability. In cultures that practice female genital mutilation, women are usually refused and education and therefore have no options in life outside of marriage; in addition to that, men will frequently refuse to marry a girl who has not undergone the procedure. Many girls who manage to avoid being mutilated as a child are left with no option but to undergo the procedure as older teens or young adults in order to secure a marriage.

Female genital mutilation is most commonly practiced on girls between infancy and fourteen years of age, according to UNICEF. In Nazer’s tribe, she describes her circumcision as taking place over a hole dug in the ground. “She [the village midwife] scooped out a hole in the bare earth beneath me. I was numb with terror as she got out an old razor blade and washed it in some water” (Nazer 79). Nazer was eleven years old at the time of her circumcision and had been led to believe that the procedure would not be painful. For many girls, the procedure becomes much more than painful.

Although medical professionals sometimes perform the mutilation, a village midwife most commonly is given control of the procedure. The girls are not given anesthetics before the procedure or antibiotics afterward, and tools use to perform the genital mutilation range from broken glass bottles to scissors to tin can lids, according to Amnesty International. The tools used are usually dirty, and girls frequently contract infections or die from hemorrhaging as a result of being genitally mutilated. Childbirth also becomes much more difficult and dangerous for women who have been mutilated. Nazer reflects on the practice of genital mutilation within her tribe in Sudan, realizing that it was probably why her older sister’s first child did not survive (Nazer 83). Infections, HIV/AIDS, bleeding to death and sterility commonly result from female genital mutilation.

There are three major types of female genital mutilation, according to the World Health Organization, although any genital mutilation that does not fall directly within one of the three categories is still considered to be mutilation. A clitoridectomy removes all or part of the clitoris, which is central to sexual pleasure for many women. Excision is a process in which the clitoris and labia minora are removed, and sometimes the labia majora as well. Infibulation is the practice of sewing the labia minora or majora together and sometimes includes removal of the clitoris; infibulation is one of the main causes of sterility in women, as it causes menstrual blood to build up in the pelvic cavity. Some women have their genitalia burned or scraped out as well.

Women who have been mutilated frequently suffer from psychological disorders as well; the shock and betrayal of genital mutilation, as well as infections, disease and incredible pain in sex and childbirth, contribute greatly to a sense of shame and submission among women. Nazer writes that, “It took me at least two months to forgive my parents for allowing me to be circumcised” (Nazer 83). Many girls suffer from the psychological and physical repercussions of being mutilated for the rest of their lives.

Female genital mutilation is motivated by a desire to control and subjugate women, forcing them to conform to patriarchal standards of sexuality. Within the Muslim tradition, female genital mutilation is justified by the fact that it reduces the natural sex drive of women; females are expected to be submissive and non-sexual creatures except to the will of their husbands. Infibulation, for example, is seen as a way to totally control the sexuality of a woman who will be ‘opened’ and sewn back up in order to have sex with her husband and give birth to a child. This causes the development of thick, painful scar tissue and makes it challenging for a woman to give birth to a child.

Although the argument could be made that women might undergo the procedure willingly in order to be married or to fulfill what they consider to be a religious duty, this consideration does not change the current facts surrounding female genital mutilation. A woman could undergo the procedure without it becoming a human rights violation if she had access to knowledge and information regarding the effects of the procedure. However, female genital mutilation is performed almost exclusively on children who are given no choice and little information regarding what is being done to their bodies. In Nazer’s case, as she points out, she was misled and told that it would be a positive experience. “I told my mother that I didn’t want it [the mutilation] done. ….My mother sat down next to us and held my hand. ‘Ba is right, Mende. It’s healthy for you too” (Nazer 78). Afterward, she went into shock for several days and noticed her parents feeling visibly guilty about what had happened. This reaction demonstrates the idea that there may be some awareness of the dangers and consequences of female genital mutilation even within cultures that endorse it.

Female genital mutilation is one of the most serious human rights violation issues in existence today. Millions of girls undergo this dangerous, painful and damaging procedure every year despite work done by numerous organizations to criminalize and end the practice. Any individual can aid in the fight against this practice simply by spreading awareness of its existence and informing others of how dangerous it truly is.

Bibliography

Nazer, Mende. Slave: My True Story. New York: Public Affairs™, 2003.

Amnesty International. “Female Genital Mutilation: A Fact Sheet.” 2010. February 9, 2010. .

Fran P. Hosken “Female Genital Mutilation (FGM).” Feminist.com. 2009. February 9, 2010. .

UNICEF. “Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting.” March 6, 2008. February 8, 2010. .

World Health Organization. “Female Genital Mutilation.” February 2010. February 8, 2010. .

Much Ado about Nothing

2010-02-09T09:29:00.000-08:00

Reading Much Ado About Nothing in my Shakespeare class is nothing short of a treat. I absolutely love this particular play, and I'm unreasonably excited about watching Kenneth Branagh's film version. It's one of my all-time favorite movies; the copy I have is well-worn, if it's possible for a DVD to get worn out.

Interesting factoid: Throughout the play, references are made to noting things -noting people (i.e. Claudio's first encounter with Hero), musical notes, etc. During Shakespeare's time, the name of the play would have been pronounced more like Much Ado About Noting, so the name and theme are more particularly apt.

It's a great play, and a very fun read. If you've never checked it out, do.

In other news, I am about to begin reading a book called Bone Dance. Jonah just finished it up and has been raving about it throughout his experience with it, so I'm really excited about starting it. After my mid-term today, I feel a date with a cup of coffee and this book coming on. The subtitle of this book, by the way, is "A Fantasy for Technophiles." I think that makes it sound even cooler to read, and I have been assured that it is in fact fantastic.

Here's hoping! What's everyone else reading?

Slave and academic frustration

2010-01-31T07:19:00.000-08:00

Robert Silverberg is fast becoming one of my favorite sci-fi authors. I've read his book "The World Inside" and it is a really fabulous look at what could potentially happen to humanity. It's a bit like "Brave New World" in some ways, and it does all of the things science fiction should do -it entertains and it makes the reader examine his or her own life in comparison to an imagined future.

"Unfamiliar Territory" is a book of short stories by Robert Silverberg which does essentially the same thing. His writing style is learned without being unnecessarily erudite or scholarly, and he occasionally throws in some humor to lighten the dark path down which he thinks we're heading. He examines a lot of our social mores through the use of poetry, music and sex; in the futures Silverberg imagines, sexual mores are much more communal than they are now, and our own writing is often in a form that has become incomprehensible and limited. People are trapped by their own inaction, by the societies they created or help sustain, and by some connection they feel to the way things are now.

He's a really fascinating writer, and I would advise anyone with even a passing interest in sci-fi to check him out.

Academically, I've just begun reading the book "Slave: My True Story" by Mende Nazer. I'm only about 30 pages in, but so far I'm enjoying it. The writing is simple, but descriptive, and it makes the reader think about how privileged we are in Western society as compared to most other parts of the world. Mende spent her childhood (before she was abducted into slavery) growing up in Sudan, where she spent several hours a day helping gather firewood and cooking or finding food for her family. Her tribe did not have access to clothing for most of her life before her abduction, and when the rains failed to come, people starved.

As far as the book itself goes, I am enjoying it. I would probably not have picked it up if I wasn't taking the class I'm reading it in, so I give the class points for that.

However, allow me a moment to complain about the class itself. Writers out there will be able to identify with the things I'm about to say. I am a junior in college. When I signed up for an upper-level writing class (Women and Writing is the name of it), I was anticipating learning about the ways women have written, the history of women and writing, feminist writings, women in writing...stuff like that.

Instead, what I got was a teacher whose specialty is African writing and chose (seemingly at random) books by 3 women from either Africa or the Middle East. I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with is the total disconnect between a class on women and writing and the class I'm taking, which is about books that just sort of happen to have been written by women.

On top of that, apparently my teacher is under the impression that no one in the class has an intellect above that of a 4th grader. She has us drawing posters and doing fill-in-the-blank poetry. My first piece of writing was 4 pages long, double spaced, and she claimed I had written "a novel!" and asked that I try to be more brief.

That, by the way, is the only critique I have received. In 4 weeks of class, approximately 2 dozen pieces of writing/drawing/filling-in-of-blanks, I have not received a single constructive comment that could in any way improve my writing.

In addition to that, my professor frequently makes ridiculous spelling and grammatical errors on her instruction sheets, which I find insulting -she's a writing professor, she should know better -and she is one of the most disorganized teachers I have ever had. She's had to revise the syllabus once already because she can't keep things in order.

As a woman, and a writer (primarily a writer), I am beyond fed up. I am sitting in this class knowing that if I write something I wouldn't be embarrassed to share with a critique group, it will be considered to be too long. So my only other option is to write something so short that it is in essence undeveloped. I'm okay with writing flash fiction pieces, but we're supposed to be working on memoir writing. How are 1-2 page (double spaced, mind you) pieces of writing supposed to contribute to my ability to write memoir?

No. I am stagnating. I feel like I'm losing my talent as a creative writer, not improving it. The class is a waste of my time, and the time of everyone else in it.

Has anyone else had an experience like this?

Lynne Truss and Shakespeare

2010-01-24T08:12:00.001-08:00

I am currently reading Lynne Truss's book "Talk to the Hand" and it is every bit as good as "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" -although I did catch a grammatical mistake in it that made me cringe. For someone who wrote a book about grammar, that did kind of bum me out.

However, Truss's humor is every bit as sharp and to the point as it was in ES&L, and that's its saving grave. TttH is about 'The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door" (its subtitle). I am all for staying home and bolting the door normally, simply because I am antisocial and prefer my own company to the company of most other people. Thanks to Truss, I now have excuses to stay in.

She makes good points. So far, I'm only about halfway through the book, but I find myself nodding sadly at each point she makes, and chuckling ruefully at her jokes.

What has happened to politeness? Where are the people who say please, thank you, sorry and generally act as though they are aware that they are sharing public space with other human beings? Perhaps it's because I live on a college campus, but it seems to me that politeness is in short supply -short enough that I actually remember it when someone holds a door for me, or thanks me when I hold it for them, or does something genuinely kind, whether it's for me or not. I think it's sad that something that was once called 'common courtesy' is now so uncommon as to be noteworthy.

Truss places a lot of blame on the technological age, and I find it hard to disagree with her. The internet has made us solipsistic and shallow, directed more by the choices we are offered than the choices we make. That's a problem.

During my reading of TttH, I make it a point to turn off my computer for a little longer each day and actually do something. I tried it yesterday and found myself at a loss. What was I to do without the internet to distract me? I read. I wrote a little for pleasure. I savored a cup of coffee instead of sipping at it distractedly and burning my lips in the process. I relaxed.

And it was really quite nice. It forced me to get my work done more quickly and more efficiently, and believe you me, there is nothing wrong with that. Obviously I have no intention of dissociating myself from the internet completely (my job is on the internet, after all), but I think taking more frequent breaks -and even days off -will do me a world of good. It would do us all a world of good.

As far as academic reading goes, the only book worth commenting on at the moment is Shakespeare's "As You Like It." I like it as it is. It's funny. I'm only 3 acts in, but I am definitely enjoying it. What are your thoughts on it, reader?

I'll be watching the Kenneth Branagh film in class come Wednesday (and am I ever happy about that -my mom and I both have a thing for KB, if I'm not mistaken), so I'll report on that as well once I've read it.

That's it for this week. :) Next weekend I'll probably have more to write about, but we'll see! Stop back and check.

Scheduling

2010-01-10T09:58:00.000-08:00

I like making lists and schedules. It helps me think and accomplish whatever it is I need to get finished. However, I haven't really put in a time slot for blogging -shame on me, I know.

So here's the deal. I am busy. I am really, really obscenely busy. My first week of winter quarter wore me out to the point that I was crawling into bed by 10 almost every night. I'm taking 5 classes as well as writing 4-10 articles every day in an attempt to pay off my tuition (it's not as bad as it sounds, but I'm still busy). Blogging has fallen to the bottom of my list of priorities.

However, that also sucks. I enjoy blogging, even if I get very few readers or comments. It's a nice outlet. It's more creative than most of the other writing that I do, and it's a way for me to connect with other readers.

Therefore, while I was washing my dishes, I made a decision. Instead of updating 5 times a week like I can (but rarely do) in the summer and my less busy times, I am going to update once, maybe twice a week. It will probably be on the weekends, since I have more free time Friday-Sunday.

In addition, I am refining the focus of the blog. I'm not just going to blithely talk about whatever I feel like regarding books and publishing and coffee, I'm going to blithely talk about those things in a more specific way.

College involves a lot of reading. What I will offer you here is a critique of the things I am reading both personally and academically. I will also update you on my caffeine addiction (which is currently telling me I need some coffee, like, NOW).

I'll be giving you overviews, snapshots, reviews and quotes from whatever books I happen to be reading for pleasure, as well as the books I am being instructed to read by people who are older and (presumably) more knowledgeable than I. That remains to be seen in at least 2 of my classes, but be that as it may, I still have to read what they assign.

Check in next week for the first installment of the newly improved Reading Corner.

Lorem Ipsum Books or, Why Indie Bookstores Aren't Always as Great as You Think

2009-12-21T13:21:00.000-08:00

Wait, what?
Image: the internet.

I love indie bookstores. Locally owned stores, like my dad's store Galaxy CDs, are awesome. The best bookstore in Ohio is located in my hometown (I'm not just saying that because I like the place, either -Ohio Magazine declared it to be so, and obviously, OM knows all).

That being said, being an indie store does not excuse poor customer service or a badly run store.

A friend of mine on Twitter -someone who introduces me to lots of lovely contests and people -recommended the store in question today: Lorem Ipsum Books. They're located in Cambridge and trying to move. The rent on their place is too high, etc. I can sympathize with that, since I worked in a great locally owned bookstore that closed because it was horribly mismanaged, the rent was too high and no one ever bought any books (with myself and my family as the possible exceptions to that rule).

The difference between Gallant's Books & More (where I worked) and Lorem Ipsum Books (aside from the latter having a website) is that when a customer couldn't find something or we didn't have it in, we'd make sure that they got it.

Lorem Ipsum, as I said, was trying to move. They had a sale wherein you could buy $10 coupons and redeem them for any books up to $20. That, my friends, is what I call a good deal. I bit, and bought one of the coupons.

Here's my beef with Lorem Ipsum. Their website is awful. It's relatively easy to navigate, but it's plain, unattractive and does not aid the reader in finding books.

When I first got on to find a book to use my newly purchased coupon on, I tried using the search feature. It's bad. Even with specific information, not once did it turn up the book I had wanted. Even when I entered an author's name, it used a keyword search and pulled up books by authors whose names were similar to the one I had searched for. To find a book, I eventually had to go through each category (pages and pages and pages in each one), scanning each title as I went by.

I could write an entire post about what an awful that experience that was and how it relates to selling books, but suffice it to say that I found a book I wanted. It was about Frank Lloyd Wright. If you hang out with me more than once, odds are, he'll come up. I like him a lot. The book was about $15. Huzzah!

I placed the order, and put the whole thing in the back of my mind -but each time I received a package in the mail, I hoped against hope that the book would be there.

Then, I got an email. A nice email, don't get me wrong, but not an email I wanted. It was telling me that the book I had ordered could not be located, and they were sorry, would I like to choose two books for my trouble?

Sorrowfully, angrily, I began picking my way through the categories again before I found two somethings I wanted. It took me an hour and a half to find two books. Two books I wasn't totally pleased with, but could accept nonetheless. As the days passed, I became more excited about receiving these books.

I love Dr. Who, so the Dr. Who Technical Manual was satisfying to my geeky side. I've loved the movie Coraline for ages, and as an avid Gaiman fan, I was really (if I may say it: reallyreallyreally) excited about that particular book. A technical manual is good mostly for geeking out over, conversing about and putting aside. But a Gaiman book is one I'll get out over and over again and just absolutely fall in love with every time.

Well, the mail came today.
The Dr. Who Technical Manual was in it. And yeah, sure, it's almost as cool as I thought it would be. Shorter than I expected, but still cool.
And Coraline? The book I had pinned all of my already-disappointed-hopes on?
Yeah. It wasn't there.

What I got instead is a massive, slightly musty smelling copy of the screenplay for Beowulf. Apparently Gaiman helped write it. His picture is on the book.

That's all well and good and whatnot, but it's not what I ordered. I'm not going to read a screenplay...that's why they make the movie. This book holds zero interest for me (plus, it smells bad).

Here's the point for today, kids. Indie bookstores rock, but they're not going to stay in business if this is the way they operate. I shop at the Stately Raven here in town frequently -I like supporting local businesses, and the people in the SR are always really nice. The selection isn't superb, but it's a nice enough store. I don't mind spending my money there.

What I mind, and mind very much, is spending money that I really shouldn't have spent on a bookstore in which I have no real personal investment and then getting screwed. Twice.

That's not cool. That's a problem. That's a problem for me (since now I'll probably go buy a copy of Coraline to soothe my irritation), and it's a problem for Lorem Ipsum Books -if they're this sloppy with all of their customers...well, no wonder they couldn't pay their rent.

'American Gods'

2009-12-19T19:41:00.001-08:00

I read a lot of blogs. In fact, I think I spend too much time reading other blogs and neglect my own. Sorry. In other news, new colors! Get excited.

Before I get to the promised review, there was something I wanted to discuss: why we read.
Recently, a teacher in Kansas had to rewrite her curriculum because a bunch of (stupid) parents complained. I think this is ridiculous, but it led me down a different sort of thought process.

The books the teacher had initially chosen were defended because they were books that not only get teens interested in reading, they also help them make sense of their lives (the books were, by and large, about teens in real-life situations). I thought that was an interesting concept -reading to find sense in life. Life is a pretty senseless thing, I think. We have to give meaning to our lives, and no one else can do that for us. Books can definitely help, though, I agree with this teacher.

Books give us a sounding board for our own lives. They let us compare ourselves to other people without envy, malice or pride -characters in books are what they are, and we can read stuff into them until the cows turn blue, but they're not real people. We don't have to be afraid of hurting their feelings when we say that we hate one character for whatever reason, or love a character for another.

We can place ourselves in a spectrum of lives and situations and make an assessment about what we might or might not do, what our reactions would be, whether or not we would ever have gotten into such a situation -and so on, etc. into infinity.

Books help us make sense of ourselves, and it's hard to know the world if you don't know yourself first.

But books serve another purpose -in the above, I'm mostly talking about fiction and novels. They entertain us, but they also educate us about ourselves. However, there are also books that purport to educate us and make us raise our own mental standards, and there are books that serve to entertain us without making much of a social or personal message.

And sometimes escapism is just escapism.

Book review:

In brief, 'American Gods' is rocking my socks off (and I'm not even wearing any socks). It is awesome. I have come to expect this from Gaiman, and rightfully so.

I'm not done with the book yet, so it will be a day or so before I can give a full report, but allow me to ramble a bit now.

The characters in this book will not get out of my head. I've been thinking about Mr. Wednesday all day (I'll try not to give away any spoilers), and I still can't decide whether I hate him, love him and, either way, I don't know if I want him to survive the story. He's a rascal, but he's also kind of sad, and I love how he's unfolding and yet becoming more confusing as the story develops.

Same for Shadow -Shadow is a great character, and I think he's fascinating. He's a relatively passive character: he found a course and he's sticking to it, come hell or high water (and probably both), but he's also a compelling moral study. There's a lot of back story that's still coming to light, so I'm enjoying watching everything come together.

I can't get over the plot, either -I have long wanted to write a short story about what happens to the old gods, the discarded and forgotten gods. Gaiman got there first, and he did a much better job than I could ever hope to. It doesn't mean I won't write something of my own someday, but 'American Gods' is more than satisfying right now.

One last thing about Gaiman before I sign off for the evening: the man knows how to write a good sex scene. The thing I don't like about romance novels/erotica/whatever is that sex generally does not move the plot forward in any way other than that it's just a bunch of inevitable bawdy, lewd, overly descriptive scenes filled with vapid purple prose (and for some people, that's fine -I'm just not one of them). What I admire about Gaiman is that he can make a scene erotic and sensually charged, but it still serves the plot in a big way. His sex scenes reveal something about the characters that you didn't know, but needed to, and they're still...well, sexy, while the plot goes chugging right along. Big points for that.

I am a terrible person

2009-12-15T13:22:00.000-08:00

Jonah saw one in New Orleans that said "Blessings be poppin', and Satan can't stop it"
Image credit: internet.

I haven't updated in forever. My dad guilt tripped me about it earlier today, so here you go; an update!

I changed my mind about what I wanted for Christmas. The Sony e-reader is a lovely, slick little thing...but this is so much better: The enTourage eDGe.

No, I don't know why they chose to capitalize random letters, and yes, I think that's stupid. However, the e-reader-meets-netbook combo is just too delicious and juicy to resist. I have to wait until February until I can drool all over it, but I think it will be worth the wait. Santa loves me enough to make an extra trip to my house.

In other news, font jokes are hilarious. Font jokes that are also parodies of Lady Gaga's 'Poker Face' are gut-busting.

That's really all I have for right now...a lame update, I know. Next time, I'll have read a book and I'll give you a review about it. Scout's honor. Not that I'm a scout, but you know. Whatever.

Writing

2009-12-08T14:20:00.000-08:00

Wow. I have been writing a ton these past few days (at least it feels like it to me), just not on here.

I am so tired of staring at my computer screen today...I'm thinking about taking the rest of the night to just read and "write" write, like, in a notebook and stuff. Crazy, I know.

I just keep thinking about all the stuff I'll miss on Twitter and I get a little panicky. :P

More when I have something interesting to say!

Leaves & Flowers, second issue

2009-12-07T09:05:00.000-08:00

Get excited. Right now. It's time for submissions for the second issue of Leaves & Flowers! The first journal turned out spectacularly -it was a major learning curve for me (I've never published anything myself before), and I think the second issue is going to be even better.

On top of my experience, I also have a lot more time to work with for the second issue -issue 1 was part of a project for my literary editing class; from now on, it's solely my project. I'm hoping that eventually I will be able to set up a website for L&F (at the very least I'll be setting up a blog within the next month -if I forget, someone remind me).

The next issue will be published in April of 2010. It's not an eternity away, but it gives me so much more time to get L&F just how I think it should be.

On to the exciting part: the submission process and the prompt!

The goal of Leaves & Flowers is to bring together creative writers, artists, sculptors and designers in order to explore the ways that each individual person interprets the same basic idea. Each edition will feature pieces that are all centered on a prompt given out to interested parties. One of the things that fascinates me about the writing process is how different people have such widely different takes on the same subject, and collecting those various forms of expression into one literary journal is a way to explore and show off those differences.

For the first publication of Leaves & Flowers, the prompt is this: Everyone has experienced fear of some kind; sometimes it’s as easy to hide from fear as it is to address it. Create a piece in which fear is a central element, whether that fear gets addressed or not.

As far as submissions go, any work will be considered, so long as it can be represented on the printed page. Writing can be prose, poetry, fiction, nonfiction, flash fiction, essays, short stories –anything you can write down, I will consider. Artwork is welcome also well: photography, painting, sculpture, collage –whatever you can create and transmit to me on the page, I will consider. Videos and sound are obviously impossible to put on paper, but whatever still images or other multimedia forms you can incorporate into something I can print, I will consider.

All artwork must be based off of the prompt above –what I’m looking for is your interpretation of that prompt. Take it and run with it. Let your imagination be in control, and send me whatever it is you create.

The submission process is simple. I need an e-mail, sent to leavesandflowers@gmail.com with Leaves & Flowers in the subject line. Your piece of work needs to be sent as an attachment to the e-mail. I have a Mac, so if you’re using an older version of Windows, make sure it’s saved in a format that I’ll be able to open (and if it’s not, I’ll get in touch with you so we can work something out). The body of your e-mail should contain a very brief cover letter: your name, a bio of 150 words or fewer, a short description of the piece of work and, if you want, an explanation of how you interpreted the prompt (solely to satisfy my curiosity).

Make sure you tell me exactly what your piece is –if you write a fictional story that seems like it could be true, I won’t know where to place it in the journal; spare me the time and effort of contacting you more than I need to and let me know from the start what sort of work you’re including. Feel free to send multiple pieces and types of artwork.

And that’s all there is to it! Once I have the pieces, I will be working with format and design principles, I may send pieces back to you with revisions or rewrites and in some cases, I may ask two or more authors/creators if I can make their pieces work together on the page (and you can say no to me, don’t worry about that). Although I can’t afford to pay for your time and effort, I can make the journal available for purchase by you, your parents and grandparents and anyone else you think would enjoy your work. Once L&F is published, I will let you know where you can find it, how much it will be and if I can get you any discounts.

The deadline for submissions is April 1, 2010.

Christmas List Roundup

2009-12-05T18:40:00.001-08:00

As I'm sure many of you could guess, my Christmas list is composed almost entirely of books. The rest is composed of fierce desire for a Sony ebook reader. They're so pretty and neat! I want one. I'm hoping Santa has been paying attention this year because I'm awesome.

;)

There are a ton of books I am looking at.

Additionally, these books would make superfantasticcooltacular Christmas presents for other people.

For example: Alberto Manguel wrote a book called The Library at Night (which I blogged about over the summer and which gave me the inspiration for my second tattoo, should I ever decide to get it*). He has another book out called A History of Reading, and it looks just as fabulous as TLaN, so I'm hoping that one shows up.

Richard Dawkins is an author I used to complain about vociferously, until I read his books with a lot less animosity going into the process. I came to (begrudgingly) respect and, eventually genuinely admire him. His latest book is called The Greatest Show on Earth, and I'm really interested in checking it out. I read The God Delusion for the first time straight through -I've read pieces before -and found myself enjoying it much more than my previous read. He's a funny, smart, persuasive man and I really enjoy his stuff. He was involved in a really interesting debate recently, which you can watch here if you're interested.

One of my favorite books of all time has to be The Elegance of the Hedgehog. It's sweet, sorrowful, erudite, beautifully written and translated (it's originally French), funny, heartbreaking and just very real. I can't recommend it enough. Muriel Barberry has another book out, called Gourmet Rhapsody, and it centers on one of the minor characters from The Elegance of the Hedgehog. I'd love a chance to read GR, because if it can even hold a candle to TEotH, I will be a very happy reader indeed.

Shameless plug: Leaves and Flowers. It's my baby, but I would read it even if it wasn't. I didn't write it, after all, I just put it together. (Speaking of L&F, I'm open for submissions again -I'll be posting about that soon. If you really really can't wait, leave a comment with your e-mail address and I'll get in touch with you). L&F features some incredible work by some absolutely fantastic people, and I am so privileged to have been part of it. It's a great gift for anyone who likes literary journals and off-beat stories.

God Hates You, Hate Him Back frankly just looks hilarious. I read the first chapter for free online (what a world we live in) and although I wasn't totally taken by the writing, the humor had me laughing, smirking and thinking. Oddly enough, at the time I opened the chapter to read, 3 of the tables directly around me were occupied by evangelicals attempting to convert fellow college students. I darkened my screen while I read because the campus crusaders or whatever they are at my school tend to be aggressive and obnoxious and I wasn't in the mood for a theological altercation (rare for me, but it happens).

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman (who is one of my literary heroes, btw) won just about every available award this year. Aside from its accolades, it just looks like a kickass story. I am, right now, listening to Gaiman read it -you can listen to him read the entire book! I'm a visual person, so I'd rather read it than hear it, but hearing it is very awesome.

That's all I can think of right now (I'm tired, tired, tired), but any of these would make awesome Christmas gifts for the various readers in your life.

*If I get another tattoo, it will read habent sua fata libelli, which means 'books have their own fates' in Latin.

Brief entry

2009-12-03T13:59:00.000-08:00

STOP CENSORING TEACHERS WHO ARE TRYING TO GET STUDENTS INTERESTED IN READING.

Pardon my yelling, but this really makes me sick.

Why is this so hard for some people to understand? If teachers are adding books to a curriculum in an attempt to interest their students in reading, the complaints of a few narrow-minded parents should in no way dictate the curriculum of the entire class.

At the high school age, students should be able to decide for themselves whether or not they want to read something. If their parents are still unhappy with the subject matter, the teacher should offer alternative titles to the student.

However, a few parents should never have this level of control over an entire group of students whose lives they otherwise never influence. It's stupid, it's wrong and it's censorship.

Stop doing it.

School systems have to stop bending over backwards to accommodate whiny parents who want to restrict students' access to information. If they don't want their child reading it, fine -home school them. Get them put in another school or class. Ensure that there are other ways the student can meet the basic requirements of the class. Maybe...ask the kid if they want to read it. But stop, stop, STOP interfering with teachers' work.

If you are not the child's parent, you have no place saying what that child can read or can't read.

Just because you pay taxes to the school doesn't mean you have the right to dictate what goes on -all the parents of all the other students who go there pay taxes too.

Schools cannot continue forcing teachers to censor the material they present to classrooms based on a few people who feel it's "inappropriate."

I did it!

2009-11-30T17:35:00.000-08:00

That is all.

Wondermark

2009-11-28T12:20:00.000-08:00

Mmmm, ulterior motives*.

I mentioned the comic Wondermark in a previous entry.
I have ulterior motives* for writing about it again... but it's also a good excuse for me to write a review again, which is something I haven't done in a while.

Wondermark is awesome. It's exactly the kind of bizarre-but-witty social commentary that I look for in my webcomics (that and good artwork, funny characters and artists with personality -Wondermark satisfies all of these needs).

Additionally, David Malki ! once sent me a huge packet of paper from an incredibly old German book for the cost of shipping it to me. I cut out the shipping label and stuck it on my corkboard of coolness. I still haven't decided what to do with the paper, but I distinctly remember talking to him via Twitter and e-mail (I was very excited. I paused the documentary Helvetica solely to acquire pieces of old paper from an artist I like). He is cool.

The comic itself features short strips that show some of the most random, bizarre or hilarious situations imaginable -usually it's a combination of the three.

One of my favorite things about Wondermark is that despite its overt weirdness, it's still relevant. It's still showing me, as a reader, something to laugh at and simultaneously making me realize that I'm laughing at myself (and the people around me). I am frequently laughing out loud in public places about the latest Wondermark strip, even when I'm not reading it. Then I definitely resemble the people at whom Malki ! pokes fun.

Wondermark updates around twice a week, and each issue deals with a different bit of weirdness or some obscure fact (i.e. the speed at which digesting food moves). Each comic also features hypertext, which is always fun (xkcd does that as well). The comics just aren't complete without it, and I am always slightly disappointed when I come across a comic that does not utilize it.

He also makes awesome T-shirts. I own this one. I wear it around people I don't like (for example: bad professors and drunk people around campus) and to prevent other people I have the potential not to like from talking to me. It works quite well, and I am always pleased by it.

No one who creates an entity called Piranhamoose can be anything less than awesome. It's a simple fact of nature.

How to tell if you're in a Disney movie

2009-11-27T18:20:00.000-08:00

How cool is this? See the others here at Not Your Logic

There are several important signs that point to Disney movies. It's important to recognize them for your own well-being.

If...

Large groups of people are suddenly bursting into choreographed song and dance for no apparent reason
You are compelled to join in with the singing and dancing and don't find anything unusual about it
Animals and inanimate objects begin to talk and you are able to understand them
A fairy, genie, wizard or witch appears and offers you wishes, magic spells, strange items or threatens you with imprisonment or harm
You suddenly have romantic feelings for a beastly animal and are not worried about your sanity or well-being
You are placed into a position of authority and a kingdom is suddenly under your control or you become responsible for its welfare
After a lifetime of poverty, abuse or homelessness you find wealth, love and a family
The person you most despise falls in love with you and/or you with them
An adviser, close but sarcastic relative or cruel employer suddenly turns on you, kidnaps you or kills/attempts to kill you or a member(s) of your family
You fall in love with someone you've known for only a few days
Expressing yourself through long music montages is much more suitable than just talking about it
You are a woman and the only way you can resolve an issue or save yourself is by getting a man to fall in love with you
You are a man and you are suddenly attracted to a woman you met under bizarre circumstances (examples include: meeting a voiceless woman on a beach, imprisoning a provincial villager in her father's stead, seeing a princess-turned-servant over a palace wall, dancing with a servant-turned-princess at a ball, saving a runaway princess's hand from being chopped off by an apple vendor or coming across a princess in hiding as she sings to woodland creatures)
Seemingly insurmountable obstacles can be easily overcome with the help of a fairy, a genie or the power of true love/group singing...

Then you may be in a Disney movie. Be vigilant.

On the subject of final exams

2009-11-19T12:07:00.000-08:00

Final exams can be a hassle. For example: I studied for about 3 hours for an exam that I finished in 40 minutes.

That, however, was the point of the studying. I knew the material like I know my own computer screen (i.e. really, really well), and so I finished the exam quickly, efficiently and without any panic. Someone sitting near me, however, seemed to be suffering from "fuckexamitis," which is a condition common among college students.

What happens is the student puts off studying, reading, paying attention in class and doing most of the assignments, all the while cruising on the thought that a cram session the night before the final will somehow see them through and magically raise their grade. During exam week, they are suddenly struck by the paralyzing side effects of fuckexamitis, which include the emphatic cursing of exams and a sudden amnesia regarding all facts and terms learned in class.

Despite a frantic night of studying, purloining notes or old exams and essays from the internet (which, by the way, is a disgusting example of the easy light in which people regard plagiarism. Do your own work and succeed or fail on your own merits; don't try to sit on someone else's laurels), these are the people who come to the exam feeling panicky, exhausted and gassy. This last condition is the most obvious to everyone around the fuckexamitis sufferer, and it's quite pungent.

The cure to the dreaded cases of fuckexamitis that crop up at the end of every quarter/semester/academic term?

Stop being lazy.

You know you're doing it. I do it (I even admit to it, regularly. Procrastination is a bad habit, but one that I'm working to break. You know what I have to show for it? A 3.9 GPA, that's what). Everyone wants to be lazy, to some extent. That doesn't mean it's a good idea.

You know when you have projects due, papers that need written or tests during the quarter -that's why teachers give you a syllabus. Read it. Highlight it. Treat it as though it is your only road map through the treacherous path of the quarter...because it is. Love it, treat it well and pay close attention to it.

Do your work.

Get up and go to class. Even if you don't take the best notes, you'll benefit just by being in class. My business law professor gave us answers and hints to three out of four essay questions for our final exam just for showing up to class. You never know what you'll be missing in class if you don't even bother to show up. And if you don't go to class, don't do your work, don't study and don't participate in academics...why are you even in school? Seriously. Address that issue, then stop whining about how early your classes are, make some coffee and go.

Ask for help. If you don't get it, yes, some asshole in the front of the room is going to think you're a moron (it'll probably be me, let's be honest. Especially if it's a literature class)...but someone else in the back of the room who was too afraid to ask the same thing you were thinking will be really grateful that you raised your hand so they didn't have to.

Fuckexamitis is a serious condition. It can make or break your grade, and I get really sick of hearing people whine about how hard their finals are when all they did all quarter was complain about how much work they had to do...and then not do it anyway.

Fuckexamitis is a self-inflicted condition. Learn how to avoid it. It's really not that hard.

Labels

2009-11-15T15:26:00.001-08:00

I know I don't usually update on weekends, but there's something that's been getting under my skin for several days now.

There are billboards around the country that advertise the existence of secular groups. They all say something along the lines of "Don't Believe in God? You're Not Alone." Another says "Are You Good Without God? Millions Are."

These signs are vandalized, often within days of their being put up. And more than that, the people on whose property they are placed have been threatened. One man asked that the sign be moved from his property to a different location because he'd started receiving death threats.

Classy, Christian/Muslim/Jewish people who are doing this. Real classy.

People who claim their religion promotes peace, understanding and acceptance shouldn't be out threatening people and defacing a group's billboards solely because it presents a viewpoint they don't agree with. If you don't want to be in an atheist group, don't join it. But don't threaten the people in it just because they don't believe in your god. That is, first and foremost, immature.

It also violates the First Amendment, in the event that someone would try to prevent the existence of such a group or atheists themselves.

That isn't precisely what I wanted to write about, although I find it profoundly annoying.

What's gotten to me this weekend is the labeling I'm noticing.

I don't refer to religious people as anything derogatory. I might refer to extreme whack-outs as such, but I don't generalize an entire system of belief based on one or two examples of deranged behavior.

Despite the fact that I think religion is a force for a lot of negativity and evil in today's world, I don't call the religious believers evil, negative people unless I'm pointing to a specific example. Incidentally, if you'd like to see more than a few examples of the crappy side of religion, check out this blog called Deep Thoughts. Or read the news about how the Catholic church in DC is threatening to stop feeding the homeless if gay marriage becomes legal.

What gets my figurative goat is when someone calls me a religion-hater because I'm an atheist. There was a news story someone posted in my Twitter feed directed to "all you religion-haters" about the different levels of religion (I actually went and read the story, and it was nonsense anyway. A lot of justification and no actual logic whatsoever. That somehow made the insult worse -couldn't they have at least picked an article that made a good argument?).

My immediate reaction to being called a religion-hater is to say, "I'm sorry, excuse me, what did you just call me?"

I don't hate religion. I don't like most of the things religion does, and I do have some serious problems with the ideas espoused by religion, but I'm not a religion-hater. I resent being called that on a very personal level, too.

Labeling me as a religion-hater instantly puts me on the defensive in the conversation. I come into whatever discussion is being opened up feeling as though I have already been attacked, and my guard is up. I'm less willing to concede any ground in the conversation, and I'm far more likely to turn my back on it and just walk away. I won't have a discussion with someone who has no respect for me from the outset.

It assumes a lot about someone to label them that baldly without any recognition of their individual personality.

Another offshoot of that is the sudden surge in pro-Christian groups I see on Facebook -maybe it's just the people I'm friends with. I don't really care if you're "A CHRISTIAN AND PROUD." Good for you. That's your business. I'm not going to tell you not to be a Christian or that you should be ashamed of it.

I don't have a comment on your religion until it starts interfering with my life, my rights and/or the rights of other human beings. Outside of that...worship your left shoe if you want to. Be proud of that. I would have the same reaction to shoe-worship as I do to any other religion.

The thing that bothers me about the Christian-and-proud-of-it thing is that whenever I go to the groups and snoop around (because I'm nosy and that's what I do), I don't see fellowship. I don't see welcome. I don't see spirituality, friendliness, joy or giving. What I see is in-fighting, exclusion, nastiness and petty, very petty behavior.

I see discussion topics that say "Christian girls are more beautiful than atheist girls because..." with responses like: Christian girls have long hair, Christian girls aren't sluts, Christian girls don't hate, Christian girls are better people, Christian girls are more submissive to their men/God, Christian girls are virgins, Christian girls are more beautiful than atheists because atheists are immoral and wicked, etc. etc.

These comments are not coming from extremists or whack-jobs. These are coming from everyday people. Allow me a moment to dissect the above comment by comment.

Long hair. First off, I can see this one from a purely Biblical standpoint...but that also assumes that all Christian girls consider themselves unclean for the week of their periods, never eat shellfish or talk back to their parents, keep the Sabbath holy and stone those who don't and follow every single other outdated Biblical command for men and/or women. I know plenty of beautiful women, Christian and otherwise, who have short hair. Saying someone is going to hell or is spiritually flawed for having short hair is like saying they're going to hell for wearing a blue shirt on a Tuesday. It's ridiculous.
Hahahahahaha. Oh excuse me, was that inappropriate? Sorry. I went to a Catholic school, I had friends who went to a Catholic high school and my town has a lot of Catholics in it. I'm not singling Catholics out for the slut label, it's just a solid example. As a feminist, I object to the term slut on a very basic level, so I'm including guys in my reckoning of the promiscuity tally. Personally, what someone does with their body as far as sex goes is their own business -if someone wants to have sex, then I'm no one to judge them for it. However, from the standpoint of "promiscuity is bad/Satanic/unchristian," there are some people who are sadly misinformed about the sexual habits of their children and peers. If having sex outside of marriage gets you labeled as a slut, there are a whole lot of Christian sluts out there...and I don't think giving people guilt complexes about sex is healthy or moral. I think it's sick and wrong.
I have received more hatred from Christians (girls or otherwise) than any other group of people. Christians can be very open and accepting people, but they are every bit as capable of hating people as anyone else, regardless of what the issue is. I once got flipped off in a parking lot by someone who was going to Church (and happened to be in the wrong as far as the driving went), to give you a ridiculous example of Christian girls and their supposed lack of hatred. I'm not saying all Christian girls hate, just that they're capable of it -and many of them do it.
Christian girls are often no more moral than anyone else. That's a very subjective standard to hold people to, and I'd like to know what it means on a more specific label. Speaking from my own experience, however, as far as basic morality goes, no one group has the higher ground in everyday life.
Christian girls are virgins. Oh really? Since when. All of them, all the time, always? See the above comments.
The whole idea of submission makes me sick. I'll devote an entire post to that soon, so check back.
I'm an atheist. I'm neither immoral, evil nor wicked. I like to think I have a wicked sense of humor, but that's not really what they're going for. Atheism =/= amoral, evil behavior and it's that stereotype that drives so many of these groups.

I can't understand it, personally. Why am I, as an atheist, perceived as being Antichrist Jr.? I don't kill, steal, lie, rape, pillage, covet, deface, stone or otherwise harm anyone else. I don't encourage women to bow down before a man or anyone else, because that's dehumanizing. I consider myself to be a pretty moral person...I just don't worship your god.

If you want to have a conversation with me about religion, don't start it off by assuming that you can throw insults at me and not get a response to that. Making the assumption that because I don't believe your god exists also means I have no ethical code is going to set a very unpleasant tone for the conversation.

I don't hate your religion. I'd like it if you didn't hate me for not buying into it.

Earning money by writing

2009-11-13T07:33:00.000-08:00

This is something that comes up a lot. Writing is a business, and anyone who says different is lying to you or they're talking about writing only for themselves (which seems like the weirdest thing to me -I write so people will read and hopefully purchase what I write. If I'm going to write something that I don't want anyone to read but me, I'll either keep a journal [which I do] or sit around and pretend I'm Emily Dickinson [which I don't]). Writing for publication is a business whether an individual writer likes it or not, and it needs to be treated that way.

I'm not saying that you'll be getting a nice 401(k) unless you happen to be JK Rowling or Stephen King, and I'm not saying you need a business degree to be a writer.

What you do need is common sense and a little bit of human decency. Writers have a tendency to be weird -we revel in it as our birthright as writers. We're socially inept, awkward and often dress inappropriately. Caffeine junkies, winos, addicts and surfers of 4chan make up our numbers. But then again, so do mothers, teenagers, teachers, doctors, stock brokers and any number of other types of people some writers would be tempted to look down on as "ordinary."

Writers are everywhere, and that means competition is fierce. That means if you're eccentric, great! But don't let that be your entire personality. You still have to be able to connect with the rest of us if you're going to sell us your writing successfully.

So much for human decency, then: act like grownups when you need to. Save your super-weird and/or inappropriate behavior for a place where it won't cost you your career. Protip: This is not anywhere public.

As for common sense, this has been said before and it will be said a billion times in the next 5 seconds, but I'm going to say it anyway: play to your strengths. And don't.

Find what you're good at and do it. Do it a lot. Do it badly sometimes, and learn from that. What you're good at should make your blood boil and tingle and make you jump out of your chair with excitement. It should make you passionate in both good and bad ways. If you're good at research, do research. Write about research. Blog about research. Teach other people how to be good at researching.

Find what you're not good at and do that too. Do it frequently, because it's going to teach you what your limits are, and then allow you to look those limits in the eyes, shove them down and take their lunch money. Doing something you're bad will teach you how to be good at it or at least how to be good at something. It will force you to change and grow and reevaluate yourself. Doing something you're bad at will also help you be better at the things you're good at.

Experimenting with your strengths and weaknesses will teach you what portions of your writing you'll be able to sell. I'm a college student -I am, right now, very good at writing opinion and fact-based pieces. So I do. I do a lot of that (here and elsewhere). I am learning a huge amount of information about writing, so I write about that. I am very good at writing BS, so I do. I write a lot more BS than pretty much anything else...but it's the BS I spew that's making me the most money right now. It might be boring, meaningless or uninteresting to me, but someone out there wants it, and they'll give me money in the process of getting it.

Writing requires marketing. For example, if I include a link to my newly published literary journal, Leaves & Flowers, someone might click on it and buy it -they might not, too, but they could. Additionally, if I include a link to an article about why Twilight is an awful series of books, someone might click on that, too.

Twitter, Facebook, blogs, word of mouth, friends and family, Myspace, StumbleUpon, Digg...all of these things are becoming indispensable tools for marketing writing (well, maybe not Myspace, that's kind of died). The point is, in an age where almost all of your readers will be connected to the internet very, very frequently...you need to be marketing on the internet.

This post has been fueled by caffeine, and therefore may not make much sense. However! let's recap.

Don't act like bizarro-writer in situations where you'll lose writing opportunities. It's okay to be weird, but control yourself. Be weird in constructive ways.
Write what you know.
Write what you don't know.
Kick your limits in their most tender parts and move past them.
Market yourself as though your paycheck depends on it (because it does).

Seem simple? It kind of is...people just don't do it, for whatever reason.

Leaves & Flowers

2009-11-12T07:53:00.000-08:00

Today is a short but rabidly excited post: my literary journal, Leaves & Flowers, is now officially published and available for purchase!!

I received the fabulous, glossy, lovely proof copy in the mail and I am thoroughly pleased to be able to present it to you.

Ladies and gentleman, the product of many hours' work (both mine and my wonderful contributing writers'), Leaves & Flowers.

Writing in the right atmosphere

2009-11-11T10:08:00.001-08:00

This is what happens sometimes. I'm learning to be okay with that.

Today I set myself a goal -I wanted to write 5 articles and complete a useful blog entry. So I sat down at my desk with a cup of coffee, a bottle of water and the Intertubes...and absolutely nothing happened. Normally, sitting at my desk in my room is the absolute best way for me to write. There are no distractions that I can't control (although honestly, Tweetdeck is a little bit ridiculous sometimes), it's guaranteed to be quiet and I can get up to make more coffee any time I want to. My desk is also conveniently right next to my bed, in which I have spent an inordinate amount of time sleeping lately (I blame laryngitis. And laziness).

Ordinarily, my room is the best place for me to work.

And yet today, when I opened up all of my little research windows and the form in which I write my articles, nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. There was no speedy tapping of keys, and I was listlessly looking through the tabs of research I had open. My eyes had glazed over and I knew that I was absorbing less information than I normally do.

This is a rare occurrence for me (like I said, I really like working in my room. It's like the batcave, only less technological and filled with posters of Audrey Hepburn).

After about half an hour of sitting in front of my computer and accomplishing absolutely nothing, I finally gave up. Not on writing, just on writing in my room. I had to admit that I needed a change of pace, and some new scenery.

I came to the student center here on campus (despite the bomb threats that keep popping up here, I feel pretty comfortable coming to Baker. The dogs didn't find anything, so I'm okay with spending a couple hours here if it lets me get some work done). Things began looking up immediately -I have become aware of the fact that I will not be able to write unless I have ample access to caffeine. I got a hazelnut latte from the coffeeshop, and the girl accidentally put an extra shot of espresso in it. Woe is me.

So with that jolt of energy coursing through my veins, I came up to the 5th floor and sat back in a corner. Plopped down, plugged in and caffeinated, I pounded out 3 articles in about an hour (and the only reason it took that long was because of research for one of them). Bam, said the lady.

I'm trying to be more attentive to my writing needs -I think it's important to know what factors influence the Muse and get my energy up.

For instance, after some experimentation I know that:

I write better and more quickly if I am listening to something like Antonin Dvorak or Andrew WK than something like Owl City or Jack's Mannequin
I have to have adequate back support. If I can't lean back in the chair, I'm not going to get along with it.
Putting my feet up is awesome (although my knees get stiff pretty quickly -does that mean I'm getting old?)
Caffeine, obviously, is required for the writing process
I work best in spurts -write one article, then catch up with Tweetdeck updates and read some other articles, check Facebook, then write another article. Lather, rinse, repeat
If I don't feel my best, I don't write my best. I can't write before I've had a shower and eaten breakfast. I don't write well in pajamas or sweatpants -I have to feel like I'm presenting my best face to the world in order to present my best writing to the world. Sloppy me = sloppy writing.
Other people are a distraction. Distractions are not always bad. Texting while writing does not break my focus (if it does, the text can wait). People-watching is fun (although I'm starting to think fashion-impaired androids are taking over the world. Put on some pants, please. Leggings + Ugg boots + short t-shirts = BAD. If I can see your cellulite or your lady bits, your outfit should never have left the house).
Driving in a car with the windows down and the music up is usually the only inspiration I need.
Sometimes, I just can't write as much as I want to, and I need to get over myself. I'm not all-powerful (but don't tell anyone else I said that). Sometimes I just need a break.

What atmosphere do you write in? How do you deal with changes in your writing space? What do you do to shake things up when you're feeling stagnant? Do you ever feel stagnant, and if not, how do you avoid it?

Inked

2009-11-10T12:29:00.000-08:00

Remember way back in the day when I told you about the lovely Renda Dodge and her book Inked?

Well, it's out! Go order a copy here.

I was excited to read Inked for a few reasons -first being that the concept of the story really intrigued me. Inked is about a young woman named Tori who has an undiagnosed personality disorder. She deals with it by getting a new tattoo every time there's a major shift in her life.

As someone with a tattoo and who is considering another one, that in itself was enough to pique my interest in the book. Tattoos are cool -what a person has, where they have it and what they tell you about it can give you an immense amount of information about that individual.

As a publisher, I was excited to learn that Renda used CreateSpace to publish Inked -I used CS to publish L&F (which, by the way, should be up for sale soon, so get your wallets ready for that, too).

Speaking solely as someone who's going to be using the same type of technology to publish something, I am really impressed with the way Inked turned out. Clearly there was a lot of design work that went into it, and that alone takes skill. However, the book itself is also really high quality (which, unfortunately, is not something your average Joe reader associates with self-publishing yet. Key word: yet). Sales of books like Inked will go a long way towards improving the general conception of what it means to self-publish. This is a professional book, and it comes across as one.

And then there's the story. Granted, I was trapped in a hotel room by myself at the time I first started reading Inked (laryngitis sucks, just fyi), but I couldn't put it down from the moment I picked it up. The entire book is around 210 pages long, and I read it in one sitting (and several cups of tea).

Tori is a fascinating character. She's rebellious, she's angry, she's scared -and she knows it, which makes the story even more interesting. Tori acknowledges her own faults throughout the story, but she's still too pissed off and frightened to allow herself much room for changing the parts of herself she doesn't like -not to say she doesn't, because she certainly does, but I got a feeling that Tori isn't ever going to totally break out of certain aspects of her personality (nor did I want her to). Tori isn't a character I could see undergoing a traditional growth pattern in a novel -and that's definitely one of the strengths of the book; keeping Tori very much herself keeps the book human. This is not a hero story, this is a story of someone who is just a person trying to deal with their life and getting a little lost doing it. We've all been there in one way or another, and Tori reflects that back to the reader.

In addition to the development of Tori's back story (her early life, first relationships, etc. -I don't want to give anything away because you should just go buy the book, it's worth every penny), there's the mystery of her present. Tori's mother is dying of AIDS and Tori reluctantly returns home to care for her mother. It's not a pleasant reunion. In addition to her strained relationship with her mom, there is the complication of Blake, who lives next door.

There's an instant attraction, albeit a reluctant one on Tori's part, but there's a lot more going on behind the surface of Tori's connection with Blake than is evident at the outset.

Inked is much more than the story of Tori and her tattoos, although that particular component adds a great deal of interest, and it's definitely one that I'm keeping around to read again.

Monday mornings

2009-11-09T06:39:00.000-08:00

I am really glad I don't have class on Mondays, I'll be honest. I will next quarter (in fact, next quarter I'll only have Fridays off -that will be quite a change), but for this week I'm still free on Monday mornings. I planned on being asleep until 9:30. I woke up at 7 (the lingering effects of laryngitis), and that's been okay. I'm getting a lot done.

For instance...I ordered the proof copy of Leaves & Flowers! I submitted it last night and by this morning it was ready to go. I don't think I need to tell you how excited I am, but I will: I'm really really really really excited.

I spent a good 3 hours on it last night -last minute changes, formatting problems, double checking spelling/grammar/punctuation and generally being my perfectionist self. I guarantee you there are still a few errors in it, but I did my best to make sure that it looks the way I want it to.

It should be here on Wednesday. I'll be taking pictures of it as though it's a child or a new puppy. It should be up for sale by Thursday, maybe Friday (depending on whether or not I want to make any changes).

Anybody else out there self-publish anything and feel this awesome combination of fear and exhilaration? It's a really cool sensation. The most interesting part, for me, is that I'm not the author of this piece -I'm just the publisher. My job was to get the work out there, and that's exactly what I'm doing.

How cool is that?

Tomorrow: a book review of Renda Dodge's self-published book, "Inked"! :)

The Barnes and Noble Nook

2009-11-04T11:26:00.000-08:00

Things are not well in the world of e-books and e-book readers. Cool as they are, and as much as that technology is useful, we can never forget that the business world is still full of people who are going to try to rip off consumers, business partners and one another.

Barnes & Noble is currently being sued by Spring Design over their e-reader, the Nook. The Nook, I have to admit, looks superdupertacular. It's got color on the screen, really cool technology -you can share books with other Nook users, and it's got all the bells and whistles we are coming to expect from e-readers.

However, B&N stole the technology from Spring Design. They engaged in "talks" with SD about the technology used by SD to create something like an e-reader without ever telling SD that they were planning on using said technology for the Nook. Read more here.

I've read a few blog posts and many more tweets (on Twitter) lately about acting professional when you get a rejection or go about networking. Spiteful comments about editors, other authors, agents and publishing houses aren't going to get you anywhere. All of the blogs/tweets are solid. They have good examples and the points are valid.

However, I finish reading them and I have an overwhelming sense of, "Well, duh."

I should think it would be self-evident to anyone that if you're trying to get a book published, acting like a spoiled, privileged child isn't going to be the route you want to take. And yet people seem to need to hear that. Why? Why is that a lesson people should need? I'm a n00b in the world of publishing and online networking despite growing up in the internet era, and I still know better than to fight with other professionals or step on toes if I get upset.

I don't understand why good manners are something that we need to be reminded of so frequently.

And then I start reading about things like the lawsuit between Barnes & Noble and Spring Design, and I think perhaps everybody should be looking over some etiquette manuals.

National Novel Writing Month

2009-11-02T09:44:00.000-08:00

I have laryngitis, so please excuse me if I'm light on posting -last week was bad. This week might be better, since I was required to skip all my classes today and I'll be going home for the weekend again on Thursday.

I fail at updating as regularly as I'd like.

Here's what I want to talk about today: National Novel Writing Month.

It's awesome. If you're not doing it, you should be. Get on it. If you are doing it, we should be friends.

The idea behind NaNoWriMo is to write 50,000 words during the month of November. It actually sounds much harder than it is -it's all about quantity. Quality control is what December is for! I am busy bashing out about 2K words each day that I know are going to be hacked, slashed, destroyed and shifted at some point in the future. The point is that without NaNo, those 2K words every day would never have even come into existence. I never would have created this intense sci-fi novel that I'm now working on (and sci-fi is kind of a leap for me, as a writer, so it's cool to experiment with it).

See how fun it is? You can write whatever you want! You can write to novel you always wanted to read, or you can experiment with different types of prose fiction writing. November is the most stressful month out of my year, and also my favorite for that same reason.

I am too busy writing my action-filled science fiction novel to tell you anything else.

Luv Ya Bunches

2009-10-29T05:25:00.000-07:00

Scholastic reversed their decision!

So, it's been a bad week for this blog -I posted, what, once? :( Sorry. I have strep or something a lot like it, so I've just been trying to keep my head above water more than anything else. It sucks, but it is what it is.

Tomorrow I'm going home. Halloween at OU is not my cup of tea. I don't drink, I hate crowds and drunk people frighten and annoy me...the population of Athens doubles and then some for Halloween, and almost everyone is drunk, crowded and in costumes.

Right now I want to talk about Twitter and writing.
It's awesome.

If you took a bunch of cool, mixed it with some brevity and then gave it to people who know how to get the word out there, you'd get the writers and editors I follow on Twitter. They are some of the most brilliant, creative, talented, informative, funny and caring individuals I've seen on the internet. I argue a lot on the internet, so coming across an arena where everyone is building one another up as opposed to tearing them down is really cool.

I busted into the Twitter writer seen in my usual way -blindly and without much forethought. I started hastagging* things about Leaves & Flowers and before you knew it, my follower count started growing (and, to my knowledge, has continued doing so). I don't know these people, I'm obnoxiously self-promoting and yet they're spreading the word for me, offering me awesome links to check out, making me laugh and improving my writing skills all at the same time.

Who are these people?! They are so cool!

Seriously, if you use Twitter and you're a writer, you need to start following other writers. It is an immense help to your craft, your network and your state of mind.

*Hashtagging is this: #amwriting

If you put a hashtag and follow it up with a word or phrase sans spaces, it becomes a link that allows you to search for other people using that hashtag. #amwriting and #writing are some of the best to check out for good writers to follow (I'm not handing out names because you can all do your own grunt work, or just check out who I follow and jump on my bandwagon).

Twitter got me more than half of my submissions for L&F, and in addition to that, I made new friends. That is super cool.

Next time around I'll be talking about Twitter chats (and I will, eventually, be writing that Golden Compass article I promised. Just not yet).

Short one today

2009-10-26T11:33:00.000-07:00

I love Fizzgig. He is the best.

I appear to have developed the flu (dun dun DUNNN), but don't worry -I'm recovering quickly. I spent yesterday in bed with a ridiculously high fever and finally got some Motrin (thanks again, Laura!), took a long nap and woke up feeling only crappy, instead of thinking I was on the edge of death. I've continued taking Motrin every few hours, and right now I'm only feeling yucky -sore throat, earache and wooziness. Much better than yesterday, when I couldn't even get out of bed to get a bottle of water without needing a 45 minute nap afterward. Yesterday was awful. Today I have felt good enough to go get food and coffee, despite having everything be really weird tasting and sounding. It's sort of like I'm in an aquarium -everything is echoing and tinny. Blah.

Okay, enough about that, onto books.

How many of you have heard that Scholastic books has asked an author to rewrite portions of her book before they'll consent to sell it due to offensive material? How many of you know what that offensive material is?

One of the main characters has lesbian parents, that's what.

Here's what the author, Lauren Myracle, says about it:
“A child having same-sex parents is not offensive, in my mind, and shouldn’t be ‘cleaned up.’” says Myracle, adding that the book fair subsequently decided not to take on Luv Ya Bunches because they wanted to avoid letters of complaint from parents. “I find that appalling. I understand why they would want to avoid complaint letters—no one likes getting hated on—but shouldn’t they be willing to evaluate the quality of the complaint? What, exactly, are children being protected against here?

“Over 200,000 kids in America are raised by same-sex parents, just like Milla. It’s not an issue to clean up or hide away,” says Myracle. “In my opinion, it’s not an ‘issue’ at all. The issue, as I see it, is that kids benefit hugely from seeing themselves reflected positively in the books they read. It’s an extremely empowering and validating experience.”

I'm pretty appalled at Scholastic. For a group that aims at getting kids to read, censorship seems way out of line. If a kid's parents don't want them reading about gay people, don't let them buy the book -but an author should never have to change their work because someone is afraid of getting an angry letter. That's censorship, and it's ridiculous. I give mad props to Myracle for standing up for her work.

There's a petition, which you can sign here (although the site's been down for about an hour, probably due to large numbers of people trying to get in on it since it's all over Twitter right now), and I encourage you to do so -even if you don't support gay rights, at least support an author's right to write what s/he wants to without fear of being censored for it.

2009-10-23T08:02:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday, Dad!!

Regular posting will resume tomorrow or Monday.

The best and strangest day

2009-10-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

Shoes. This will all make sense soon.

I am having the best and strangest day, seriously. First off, I'm still a human as far as HvZ goes (well, and as far as being human goes, as well). No kills as of yet, but there are 430+ people playing and only 20+ zombies. I also feel like someone spent all last night trying to tear my legs off, because running around campus for all hours of the night makes me very sore. I'm out of shape. It's a beautiful fall day here, and I'm hoping it will be warm-ish again tonight.

On another note, a more footwear related I note, I won a beautiful pair of shoes! I'm not sure how many of you read A Cup of Jo, but I suggest you start reading her stuff yesterday. She's awesome -I do most of my blog reading in the morning before I go to class, and ACoJ is always a nice way to start out the day (generally with a cup of Joe in hand as well). Every Wednesday she does a giveaway of some really nice products, too, and I just so happened to win this Wednesday's. Since I'm a Shoemaker by name and a shoe lover by nature, I fell in love with the shoes on sight and I'm unbelievably excited to wear them around campus once they get here!

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Book time.

I wanted to write a little bit about the act of writing. Why I do it, why you do it, why it matters, etc.

In all honesty, the best piece of writing advice I've ever received was pretty simple: "You want to write? Shut up and write." I couldn't tell you who said it, but that statement hits me over the head like a frying pan every time I start thinking I have writer's block, or I'm too busy to write, or blah blah blah excuses. None of that -you want to write? Sit down, shut up and put words on a page.

Granted, there is so much more to writing than the actual act of it -the more I learn about writing both as an industry and as a craft (which requires patience, work and training) the more I realize I have been charging into the writing world with blinders on. It's a very, very intricate place to be in, and I love it.

Why do you write? Tell me in the comments if you do, in fact, write. If you don't, tell me why not.

I write because I cannot not write. If I didn't write, I would wither up and blow away- a useless and uninteresting husk of a person. Books and words and writing are more vital to me than caffeine. Writing is my center. It also keeps me caffeinated and in school so I can continue learning about writing. (And I should probably just shut up and write.)

Writing is awesome, in whatever form it takes -bad, good, transcendent, puerile -it all has its value. Right now, for Leaves & Flowers, I'm typing up the writing of a group of seventh and eighth grade competitive writers. And I'll be honest, some of it's not that great. It's at or about what I would expect, as a professional writer and creative writing major, but it's nonetheless surprising to me in that I don't remember my writing being bad in the ways this writing is bad (and I mean no disrespect to these kids; they've poured their hearts into these pieces for me, and I love it -as bad as the writing is, it has so much potential).

What I mean is that I don't remember using "feeled" when I meant "felt," and I don't remember starting every sentence but 3 in a two-page story with the word "I." The writing is rough beyond what I expected, but it's also candid in a way that I like. There's not a lot of coy wordplay going on; everything is on the surface. After one or two paragraphs I'm craving some subterfuge on the part of the writer, but there's something nicely disarming about young writers.

It was amazing to me, last night as I sat editing a few pieces (before I went to run around campus carrying a bright orange plastic gun and hunt zombies -take everything I saw with the requisite salt here) that my own writing could have, at one point, very closely resembled the pieces I had before me. I forget sometimes just how much we have to grow as writers -as our vocabularies mature, so does our writing. As we mature, so does our writing. Granted, much of that maturation needs to be self-made, but look at where it can take go once that is done.

One of these kids might write the next great American novel, or one of them might write something in Sharpie on a bathroom wall that gives someone pause and makes them think for a moment, but whatever it is that's done with writing, it's more important than we know.

This turned into more of a paean to writing than I had intended, but hey -it's true. Writing is culturally significant no matter who you are or what you do; language and words will infiltrate every part of your life. Is that positive or negative? Does it matter? It is what it is. Make it what you want. What better reason could there be to write?

/philosophical rant ;)

Zombies and a preview

2009-10-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

So, I found out last night that Humans vs. Zombies begins on my campus today. For those of you outside the undead loop, HvZ is a week-long game of madness, Nerf guns and pretending to be living in the zombie apocalypse. I won't go over the rules in detail, but basically it's this: humans wear an arm band and carry Nerf guns or balled up socks. If a zombie grabs a human's arm band, that human is dead and has to become a zombie. Zombies are killed when shot with a Nerf dart or hit by a sock. Zombies wear bandannas around their forehead or neck and "respawn" after each time they are killed (once a specified amount of time has passed or a certain point in the day is reached).

It is, hands down, the most awesome game ever in the history of both awesomeness and games. It's played 24/7 and generally takes place during the week leading up to Halloween (not too cold + creepy holiday = perfect).

I am so excited.

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Books!

Anybody ever read His Dark Materials? Has anyone seen the movie based off of the first book, The Golden Compass? (If you have, I am so, so sorry -I saw it too. I was so upset when I left that I almost threw my cell phone across the movie theater's parking lot; it was a bad movie. Totally missed the point of the book. Daniel Craig did a good job, though.)

Well, recently I found an article written about the movie/books and "arguing" with Philip Pullman and his ideas... I use the term arguing really loosely.

Like I said in the title of this, what you're getting is a preview. I am, at a later date this week, going to be going through that article and ripping it a new one/respectfully disagreeing with basically every point they make (probably at the same time). Before that happens, I need to try to find a copy of said article on the interwebs so I don't have to type the whole thing out for you. Give me a couple of days and we'll get that ball rolling.

In the meantime, if you haven't read HDM, go get started. Christian, atheist, Buddhist, Muslim, agnostic, Jewish, Pastafarian, whatever -it's a great series. Absolutely one of my favorites. :) Jonah has my copy of The Golden Compass right now or I'd be quoting it at you already.

Ebooks and ebook readers

2009-10-20T12:31:00.000-07:00

You know what's disgusting? Making a cup of coffee and, after said cuppa is made, realizing that the milk you put into it has gone bad -and went bad several days ago. Curdled milk is gross. Ruined coffee is tragic. But I did go uptown and buy some coffee and soup, so we'll all survive and get on with what I wanted to write about today.

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Namely, ebooks and ebook readers. If you've been following along, you know my mom's birthday was yesterday (she claims she's 29. I think she's just bad at math). We got her a Kindle (she lost her shit for a second after she opened it, too; it was pretty cool).

When the Kindle first came out, I barely registered it, and that registering was mostly one of disgust. I didn't think ebooks were going to be anything major, and I thought the idea of an ebook reader was pretty appalling. "You want to take my paper-and-ink books from me? I don't think so, pal." But I was wrong (it happens sometimes. Take note, because this is a very rare occurrence).

Ebooks are pretty much the shit. The future. The next big thing in publishing. And, as I remarked in a writing chat about ebooks, if you bet against technology...you're going to lose.

I'm not saying paper books are going to go the way of the dinosaur, however. More like the buffalo -they won't go extinct, but they'll be rare, intentionally cultivated and taken care of and newer, faster, flashier things will catch the international eye. This is neither good nor bad, in all honesty. It just is.

Ebooks are fast, convenient, cheap, easily marketed, save on production costs, open up incredible avenues for authors and readers -and they're already taking over. No joke. I'd post the sales figures I saw at one point but I lost the link (if anybody has info on this, feel free to leave it in the comments) -let me put it this way: phenomenal. Unbelievable.

The cost of an ebook is low. Really low (generally speaking). No paper, no ink, no distribution costs to speak of. That takes a huge amount of cost out of making a book. Ebooks are a wonderful answer to technological questions about books.

Ebook readers still have a bit of a way to go, though, I'll be honest. The technology is relatively new and still has some bugs. And, admittedly, there are things a paper book can do that an ebook reader cannot. I would not take a Kindle into the bathtub, ever. That's an expensive piece of equipment. Books can, more or less, survive a bathtub experience -and one book is not 1,500 books, which a Kindle can be. Real books can't get viruses or be mysteriously reclaimed in the middle of the night when a publisher decides they didn't want people having electronic copies of a certain book. Anybody remember that? That was nuts. They can't really do that with physical books.

The main reason I had resisted ebook readers up until recently was that you can't write on the ebooks. If I can't write on a book, I don't want it. Sorry, no thanks. I have to be able to highlight passages, underline descriptions, write awful things about incompetent editing in the margins and generally make my mark on a book to really enjoy it -and now I can. Sony ebook readers come with a stylus and the ability to mark up ebooks.

I'm so sold you don't even know how sold I am. If the devil appeared to me and said, "I'll give you a Sony ebook reader in exchange for your soul!" I would tell him, "Thanks, but I'm waiting for Santa to bring me one. Try me again after Christmas, just in case Santa doesn't come through." That's how sold I am.

Seriously, though. As a writer/publisher/editor/reader, ebooks are awesome.

As a writer, you can write, publish and sell your product directly to the public (which is made vastly larger by the Internet) and make a much greater profit than by going through traditional channels.

As a publisher, you can reach a huge market of people while dramatically reducing the cost that goes into creating a book. Not only does this allow you to publish more (and hopefully maintain a high caliber of talent), you can do it inexpensively.

As an editor, you can work with electronic texts anywhere without carrying huge manuscripts around with you -and that is awesome.

As a reader, you can access a bazillion books cheaply and quickly and without losing more storage space. I want my own library someday, because I'm a book fetishist (not in a weird way), but for practical purposes, an ebook reader will be what I'd use on a day-to-day basis.

What are your thoughts?

2009-10-19T06:23:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday, Mom!!

Normal posting will resume tomorrow.

Early mornings

2009-10-16T05:35:00.001-07:00

I am usually a fan of them (within reason). This particular morning isn't really one I wanted to make friends with, since I don't have anything going on until noon, when Jonah is picking me up to take me home again. However, here I am, wide awake (well, awake anyway) and preparing to make myself the first of many cups of coffee.

A few more followers have showed up over the past few days, which is nice! I went from 8 to 11 all at once -hi, guys! How are you? Welcome to this corner of the Internet. I hope you know what you're in for. What brought you this way?

Book time:

Anyone else ever read "Hard Times" by Charles Dickens? I told Jonah yesterday that I like it better than I like "Great Expectations" -and that statement means very little. I've never been able to get into "GE." Perhaps this represents a failing on my part as a reader. I liked the Wishbone version, but whenever I actually go to read the book I hate it almost immediately. I'm not sure why.

So, yeah. "Hard Times" is better than that, although I'm still not sure how much or if I really like it. Fortunately, my good opinion isn't actually necessary. As long as I can analyze it effectively, I'm in the clear.

I think it's something about the way Dickens crowds descriptions with almost identical sentences and kind of beats parallel comparisons into the ground. For example, from "A Tale of Two Cities" -most people know "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" and yet how many of us know that the rest of that paragraph is like half a page of that in the same format? It's brilliant -I won't deny that. It's a brilliant paragraph. But Dickens uses that same concept in almost every other thing he wrote (at least what people read academically). I know it's a part of Victorian writing, and Dickens was an amazing Victorian writer, but I feel like I'm reading the same story on repeat when he does that. It's bizarre.

What are your thoughts?

Sorry for the short post, I just got a Google Voice invite thing and I'm busy playing with it! :)

Arguing effectively

2009-10-15T07:25:00.000-07:00

Case closed.

In case none of you have ever noticed this, I'm a tiny bit hot-headed. I like to argue, especially about topics that I think are of relevance to my everyday life (for example: writing, grammar, religion, evolution and whether or not Han Solo shot before Greedo [he totally did]). Arguing is a fun and constructive way for me to take out my aggression on things that are worth fighting about -but when I say "arguing" and "fighting" I mean something very specific.

I regard fighting and arguing as constructive things. These are avenues to discussion, exploration of ideas, discovery, research and dialogue. An argument is not one person expostulating at length on their opinion, it is a vibrant and respectful conversation between two or more people (or someone with multiple personalities -I'm looking at you, Gollum/Smeagol). When I argue with another person, I take a very specific route. Since a lot of my arguing is done via e-mails or messages, there are certain writing tactics that play into it. These are important tactics, because when you use them effectively you can win an argument by default (what, you thought I was going to teach you to play fair? Come on).

Example: I came across an article, the subject of which was, "What's wrong with American morality today?" The article's only two points were that pornography and gay marriage are destroying the country and taking everyone with them. My mouth fell open as I read it, and I got pretty hot under the collar. While I'm not a fan of porn myself, making the argument that it's destroying the moral foundation of America based on Christian standards is an extremely weak argument at best -what is pornography? Is it just video? Wouldn't that make a whole lot of Discovery channel shows porn? What about art, music and writing? Those topics deal explicitly with sex, often with the intent to arouse. If you look at the case that establishes the laws surrounding obscenity, you can see that proving something obscene (which this writer calls porn several times) is difficult, if not impossible, especially given his lack of defined terms. (The case, by the way, is Miller v. California, [1973]).

Then there was the gay marriage issue. I am pro-gay marriage. If you're not, I'm sorry. I think your position is wrong and untenable, but in the end it basically boils down to this: if you don't want gay marriage, don't get one. Prohibiting gay marriage is against Constitutional law and a violation of the First Amendment (if that prohibition is based on religious reasons, which it often is). On religious grounds, there is no foundation at all for prohibiting gay marriage. If a church refuses to marry a couple, that's their right -the couple simply has to find a church that will marry them; but on legal grounds, forbidding gay couples from getting married is unconstitutional and therefore illegal.

Back to the arguing -I wrote the guy. I explained that his article was biased, intolerant and cited evidence that had been distorted or misinterpreted. I also told him that I felt that of all the things wrong with the country today, porn and gay marriage are way down there on the list. I received a series of more and more irrelevant, offensive and angry e-mails. What could have been a constructive argument about the respective merits of our viewpoints (which I'll get to in a moment), it turned into him calling me names and deliberately twisting anything I said without actually addressing the point I made.

His defenses were this: gays do not have any long-standing tradition of being discriminated against, and allowing gay people to get married and/or have children is "playing pretend" and therefore violates the sanctity of marriage. Porn causes rape and homosexuality.

Um, yeah. Even for people who agree with the guy on gay marriage, those are extremely weak arguments. Without getting snotty, I replied that:

1) Gay men and women have been discriminated against for centuries, both in this country and across the world. There are still areas, even in America, where being public about homosexuality is dangerous to an individual's health, well-being and livelihood. In some countries, being gay is illegal. How does that constitute a lack of discrimination?

2) So, by his logic regarding gay parents, it would be better for a gay person to marry someone of the opposite sex and, oh hey, "pretend" to be straight for their entire lives? What's the difference, other than the misery, bitterness and lies that will cause? Isn't lying a sin?

3) Since when has marriage been sacred? The Biblical definition of marriage allowed Jewish men to marry multiple women (in the Old Testament) and contained information on how much a woman could be beaten, how much children should be sold for and the ways in which women should be subservient to men. In addition, in America alone, theist couples divorce almost twice as often as atheist couples -and (transitioning to porn), the rates of illegally downloaded pornography, unplanned teen pregnancies and STDs are highest in the Bible Belt, where the "traditional marriages" this man lauded are so highly regarded.

4) Porn does not cause rape or homosexuality; that argument is fundamentally flawed from its premise. No research done on the subject has ever shown a link between those things. Porn is used to generate arousal and satisfy weird fetishes that I really don't want to write about, not to encourage people to be gay or to rape one another.

In response to those points, the guy claimed that gay men and women are "unworthy of civil rights" and claimed that I was calling him a bigot based on the fact that our opinions differed.

At that point, the correspondence totally derailed and I lost all interest in even having a discussion with him (to clarify: I did call his viewpoints bigoted, because, according to the dictionary definition they are -he is obstinately prejudiced against anyone who holds a differing viewpoint. I'm not prejudiced against him, I just don't agree with what he said; he, on the other hand, is prejudiced against those who don't follow his opinions and would like to see them stripped of their legal rights. That is textbook bigotry).

So how does this all apply to writing?

If you're not too steamed by the whole conversation I just outlined, I'll tell you: arguing effectively is vital, whether you're simply writing an opinion piece or trying to defend the Constitution from predation by fundamentalists -or writing a fictional story. Characters argue, they're people too. Check it out.

There are a few things that you need to remember when writing an argument (or even speaking).

-Stay on topic. The guy I wrote about earlier could not decide what information he wanted to twist to use in "arguing" with me. He chose to focus on trying to use confusing terminology and refusing to address the legal and moral points I offered to him. Arguing that way is a great way to troll someone, but a truly awful way to actually make a point. If your topic of discussion is, for instance, Gandhi's vegetarianism, don't start writing about the specifics of the Indian tea trade instead -it's not relevant, so why bring it into an already complex discussion?

-Don't name-call. It's not polite and it makes your argument weaker: if you have to insult someone to get a point across, your point is probably unable to stand on its own legs without the crutch of anger. Passion is vital to arguments; anger becomes a detriment if you don't check it. The guy I argued with resorted to calling me, in essence, a Commie hooker (he didn't use those exact words, but he accused me of being an amoral socialist on more than one occasion) -when I said he was bigoted, I directed it at his arguments, not him. Which leads me to my next point...

-If you need to tear something down, tear down an argument and not your opponent. If you start insulting the person you're having a conversation with, you're no longer having an argument, you're being mean. Your issue is with the points they made, not the individual (in some cases it may be personal, but go re-read the first point). Don't let an argument end a friendship or relationship because you began insulting the person instead of focusing on the issue at hand.

-Support your own arguments before tearing apart someone else's. If you don't have a strong argument to begin with, and you start ripping away at the points someone else made, you have to be able to back that up. If you can't, you just look wrong from the get-go. Come to an argument prepared: know the topic, know your opinion, know some relevant information that you can use (without twisting it or lying, because that's shameful and lame and makes you look shady).

-Be willing to listen. You cannot, cannot, cannot have a discussion with someone if you aren't hearing what they say and understanding what they mean. Don't be afraid to ask for clarification. I got into another (much friendlier) discussion with the author of an article about why evolution is bad and wrong (a whole other can of worms, that is) and I asked him to clarify what he meant by his claim of being a proponent of intelligent design. There are as many interpretations of intelligent design as there are interpretations of the Bible, if not more, and I didn't want to argue about the wrong issue. Instead of just barging ahead with my points, I took the time to read and address what he had said before I gave my own reasoning. Not only did that prevent me from addressing the wrong ideas and being redundant, it also gave me a chance to really understand what this guy was saying -and it set an intellectual, friendly tone to the entire conversation.

-Finally, and this applies to writers of fiction, break every one of those rules. An argument that begins and ends with the dismissal of one or more of the above guidelines will be much more heated and reveal a lot more about your characters. When people get angry, really angry, they let things slip. Those slips can move a story forward in awesome ways, so break rules like there's no tomorrow when you're writing a story.

Unless you're actually trying to anger your opponent in an argument, however, following those rules will (hopefully) help keep a lid on things.

And remember what I said about winning an argument by default? What if you manage to keep your head on, make your points in a reasoned and respectful manner, support your argument with solid evidence and logic...and the person you're talking to flies off the deep end anyway? You totally won.

Back to business

2009-10-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

I stole this hilarious picture from Angie the Anti-Theist, whose writings I find fascinating and insightful. Go check her out! The caption for this picture makes me laugh more each time I read it.

I have been gone for a while. It's Wednesday, I know it, and I haven't updated once since last week. For shame. :( I am hanging my head (over my cup of coffee so the delicious hazelnut smell wipes out any feelings of guilt I may be experiencing). I'm back, we're good. Coffee = the solution to 99% of my problems (the other 1% just take a lot more work).

I had a fabulous weekend at home -Jonah and I went to a wedding where I met the rest of his awesome family, watched his mom shake it on the dance floor. And I saw her give a man titty twisters (not even kidding -Jonah's family is beyond cool). Jonah and I busted out some dancing as well -while we certainly weren't Dancing with the Stars quality, I had a lot of fun (and I don't like dancing, as a rule). I also got to hang out with my family and surprise my mom, who didn't know I was coming home on Saturday. :)

The downside to the weekend was that, in order to get back in time to hand in a paper for my business law class, Jonah and I had to leave Findlay at 4:30 in the morning. I consider myself to be something approaching a morning person...I might stand corrected. Getting up at 3:30 is hell. I spent the rest of the day in a good-natured haze, not really understanding anything that was said to me or accomplishing much of worth (except writing 4 articles). It wasn't pretty. Today is much better.

As far as books go, oh boy oh boy!
Jonah brought me a bunch, and I gave him one too (more proof of his good taste: We've both read "The Lives of Christopher Chant" and neither of us know anyone else who has read that book. I gave him my copy of "The Chronicles of Chrestomanci," which contains "The Lives of CC" so he can re-read it and read "Charmed Life" for the first time. Has anyone else heard of these books?). I'm already 170+ pages into "A Swiftly Tilting Planet" -a book I've not read before. I've read "A Wrinkle in Time" but I'd forgotten how much I liked L'Engle.

As much as I dislike being preached to, "ASTP" is doing a good job of not irritating me with its semi-religious undertones (or overtones, depending on how you read it). I like the message of the book, and it's not overly pedantic in nature. It's just a good story.

I also read the book "Weslandia." 3 times. It's a children's book, but it is fabulous. In fact, I'll be writing an Examiner article about it in the next few days, so you'll have to wait and read about it there (and here, again).

I'm still working on getting submissions for Leaves & Flowers. So far I've received 3, and I'm loving them. It's such a fun process. Maddeningly exciting. However, I've gotten about 20 queries and only 3 people have actually sent work so far...I wish I was getting more! I also wish more people were asking for information, but that's just me getting gluttonous. ;) I am quite thoroughly enjoying this process, and if anyone wants to contribute, I'd be more than happy to work with them... spread the word! Bring me work. I'll love you forever and ever, even though I can't pay you.

Leaves & Flowers and the concept of a book trailer

2009-10-08T07:30:00.000-07:00

I love this comic so much.

I'm updating about my literary journal/magazine again. You'll get used to it, I promise. Or you won't, and either way it's not really my problem. I think this is interesting, and I think it translates into the blog, so read it, love it and click on ads. Put me through school that way.

Anywho, I got my first submission (aside from one I got from a Power of the Pen student of my mom's, I don't think I can count that one although I'll probably include it)! The submission was of two poems, previously written that nonetheless still fit the prompt (which you can read here). The first submitter was the lovely Lydia, who runs a website called The Little Fluffy Cat. I'm not sure what it's about, because I've only been looking at it for like 20 seconds, but it seems pretty cool to me. Check it out, give her props for being the first one to get stuff in!
Awesome stuff, I must add (I'm sure I'll be saying that a lot, but seriously, I really like these poems! I can't wait to publish them!!!!)

I love those words, too -that I get to publish things and contribute to someone else's writing career. I can't pay these writers -they are just giving generously of their time and talent to some nobody who's setting up a small journal (which is also why I'm not asking for any kind of publication rights. I just want the opportunity to get work out there -I don't want any claim on it after that. All rights belong to the writer -I'll have a full post on this tomorrow when I have more time to devote to it).

Today I want to talk about book trailers.
Seriously, have you guys started seeing these? They're like little miniature movie trailers...but for books. What?

That is confusing to me. It's a book. Why are we promoting them via video? I get the whole viral marketing/use the technology as it's available, etc. but I still don't understand how that works. Is text being promoted or previewed in this way? No, not usually- for fiction, it's generally a synopsis of the story, although in cases like that bullshit book Find Your Strongest Life, it's testimonials from people who have read it/are in it/get brainwashed by the guy.

I've seen some good ones (click the fiction link, it'll show you one-I do actually want to read the book, but not because of the video). That's the part I don't get. These videos aren't really contributing any desire to want to read a book for me. I don't need a video to tell me why I should want to read a book. I want to read a book because I think it looks good, usually from reading a sample or the dust jacket/back cover.

My concern is, I think, that we might be relying too heavily on promotion of books to get the word out -by which I mean, if you need a video to promote a book, what's wrong with this book that it needs a video?? I realize how bad that sentence was -it's making a point. Roll with me, here. This is my immediate reaction to seeing a book trailer: why is this necessary? Who puts all of the time and effort into creating a high-quality trailer...for a book? And that is not in any way to mock or take down books -I think books shouldn't need that kind of leg up.

Then I look at the people around me and it all kind of hits home.

You want your book to sell...you have to get the word out any way you can, whether you're Neil Gaiman or Joe Nobody. If that means marketing by spending time on creating a video to promote a piece of written text, so be it. If people read it because of that, then hey. Go for it.

What are your thoughts?

Quick Update, some shenanigans and all the rest

2009-10-07T11:55:00.001-07:00

This makes me chuckle. (It came from some scary place online)

All right, all right. I skipped yesterday and today I'm coming on late. So sue me. It's a busy week and I'm grumpy (people who take too long to give me my coffee and then forget to ring up the cinnamon roll I wanted after making me wait in line for half an hour can be blamed). But anyway, I'm here now.

Update time:
The deadline for Leaves & Flowers, unfortunately, has to be moved up a bit to November 5. Due to some scheduling conflicts, I have to have the whole shebang finished by about the 8th-10th at the latest. However, that's still plenty of time for photographers, writers and other artists to send me stuff! The lovely Renda Dodge (about whose book I wrote last time) has already stepped up to the plate, as have Shelby Campbell and my mom (nepotism ftw). I have 10 or 11 others on my list, and I'm hoping to snag several more in the next week or two, so we'll see where this goes.

I'm still very excited and optimistic about the whole thing. :)

Book time:
Has anyone else heard about the whole "bloggers have to disclose when they receive books to review because it's considered compensation" snafu? It's causing quite a hullabaloo right now, and given the double standards that are present in the FTC's 'explanation' for it, I can see why. A book is considered compensation when it's sent to an individual blogger (who may or may not review it in a positive light) and yet not when it's sent to a newspaper/magazine to be reviewed. The guy interviewed says it's not a problem if the blogger discloses the compensation or sends the book back, but his logic and reasoning seem pretty flawed to me. It looks more like blogs and advertisers are being targeted, in some ways.

Thoughts?

Here's another ringing endorsement for my man Christopher Moore: I gave my copy of A Dirty Job (one of my favorite books) to Jonah, and he loves it. Now that I've said that, I'm not sure if it's more exciting because it confirms my opinion that ADJ is awesome, or because it just reinforces how cool my boyfriend is. Either way, high fives all around for ADJ!

As for my own writing, I've been drawing more than anything lately (which is weird, because an artist I am not) -however, that drawing almost inevitably leads me into some sort of creative writing thought process. It's working out nicely. I wrote a weird little narrative poem/story/thingie the other day that I might read at my writing group tomorrow night and, after it's been critiqued a bit, we'll see what I do with it. It's nothing I'd publish, so I might slap it up here and see what you all think.

There are only 24 days left until National Novel Writing Month, so when that hits, you'll all see me do some serious writing.

Who else is doing NaNo?

One last thing, just out of curiosity. What do you all think about the idea of rating books (click the link for more info on what that means)?

Inked

2009-10-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

Gasp! Exposed flesh! I'm surprised her ankles aren't showing, the little hussy.

No, for real though -that's me. There is, I promise, I reason I am baring my pale and tattooed ribcage at you. I like my tattoo. That's not the reason, I just thought you should know. I kind of want another one (don't freak out, Mom, it won't be happening anytime soon). :)

The reason I'm showing off my little Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired piece of body art is that I'm going to be writing about a book that hasn't even been released yet.

It's called Inked.

It was written and self-published by Renda Dodge, using Createspace.com (the same place I'll be using to publish Leaves & Flowers when the time comes) and it. Looks. Awesome.

The basic gist of the story -I'll let it speak for itself in a moment -is that Tori Liddell has an undiagnosed psychological disorder that she deals with by getting tattoos as her lifestyle and personality change, "but when her widowed mother reveals her battle with AIDS Tori returns to small town Oregon to facilitate her care. At her homecoming Tori faces her own mortality, the inevitable loss of her mother and her new enigmatic neighbor's interest. Tori also confronts the realization that things and people are not always the way she remembers as she searches for the meaning of home in the rubble of her past."

Cool, amirite?
(I am right)

You can even read the first chapter by going to Renda's website, which is awesome (the first chapter and the website both).

The most encouraging thing about Inked to me (aside from the fact that it looks like a good read) as an aspiring author/editor, is how professional this book looks. The cover art is fabulous, the PDF of the first chapter not only has all of the usual information you'd expect from a book, it also has some artwork to introduce the story and it just looks damn good.

For years, big publishers have derided self-publishing as a way for people who couldn't get published to do so anyway. In many cases, that's true. But, but but but, in many (perhaps many more) cases, that is no longer true. Self-publishing is a way for authors to retain greater control over their work -its design, its marketing, its sale -and while self-publishing can have its limits (professional editing can be an immense help to a book), it is quickly becoming a viable and respectable way to publish.

People like Renda Dodge who know their stuff -maintaining a good blog, having a professional website, networking in beneficial and supportive ways -find opportunities to successfully publish a book that would be indistinguishable from one that was worked on for a couple of years before ever seeing the light of a bookstore, if it ever even got that far (seriously, the more I learn about the publishing world as it is today, the further I fall in love with small presses and self-publishing).

I've already ordered a copy of Inked. It comes out the 20th of this month and it's reasonably priced. For a debut novel, self-publishing is a leap of faith -but for somebody who knows their way around the social networking sphere and has a quality piece of work to offer, I think it's fair to say that faith is justified.

Additionally, Renda is writing for Leaves & Flowers!! How awesome is that? I'm really excited to be working with someone who has used the same tools I'll be using and produced something that I can't wait to read. Here's hoping L&F turns out the same way. Be supportive of us both -order a copy of Inked and find more people to write, draw, paint, sculpt or take pictures for L&F. :)

Shameless self-promotion

2009-10-03T10:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I subjected you all to a list of links to my articles. Unfortunately, that time has come again. I've built up quite a list and some of it's pretty good stuff (and some of it may not be. You tell me.).
Click around on stuff. Click some ads, read stuff, leave me nasty comments -whatever floats your boat.

Here we go:
Suite101:
Sartre, Kierkegaard and Heidegger
Weight Loss Tips for Teens
Choosing Font for a Tattoo
Taking Ashwagandha as an Herbal Supplement
Proper Cell Phone Etiquette
Where the Wild Things Are
White Ink Tattoos
Fun, Inexpensive Fall Activities
Starting an Online Business
Taking Care of a Tattoo
Web Comics are an Important Art Form
Literary Tattoos are a Big Trend
Geek Tattoos
Simple Thanksgiving Crafts for Kids
Advantages of Dental Inlays and Onlays
How to Choose a High Quality Tattoo Parlor

Examiner:
Ebooks and ebook readers
Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters
Banned Books Week
Mackenzie Phillips' memoir High on Arrival
The Prestige
Find Your Strongest Life
Nocturnes, by Kazuo Ishiguro
The Man Who Loved Books Too Much, by Allison Hoover Bartlett
American on Purpose, by Craig Ferguson

Helium:
Is abstinence-only education just?
How to deal with writer's block
What are the benefits of ebooks?
Evolution and how it affects us
How to care for your new tattoo
How to read best-selling books electronically

That's it for me for the weekend, guys and dolls. I'll be back on Monday with some more interesting stuff than lists of articles I've written. Get to clicking! ;)

Writing on a Friday

2009-10-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

So here it is, 4:46 p.m. on a Friday afternoon. I'm a college student. Every time I leave my room, I hear people talking about the parties they're planning on going to. I even looked over the shoulder of the girl standing ahead of me in line at the coffeeshop, hoping to learn something interesting. I found out that Travis told her about a four-kegger somewhere tonight. Considering it's raining, 55 degrees and yucky out, I hope Travis and his four kegs are inside somewhere.

I'm currently writing my eighth article of the day, with no plans to stop or even leave my building again for perhaps as much as 24 hours (although I'll definitely need to get milk and coffee asap).

I don't understand the culture of drinking that pervades college life. I have a friend who parties pretty regularly upwards of 4 days a week -parties, in this case, means getting absolutely trashed. He's not 21. He and his roommate (who is also not 21) built a bar in their room (I am not kidding). He's reached a point where he can drink about 10 beers and not feel them. He's started drinking as early as 10 in the morning.

That looks, to me, a LOT like alcoholism. His excuse? "I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a college student."
And I wonder how that makes it okay.

Drinking to excess isn't something that I imagine being fun, or cool, or exciting. It's certainly not healthy or safe. Wandering around a college campus at night while intoxicated, especially alone, and especially for women, is sometimes very dangerous, as the recent spate of sexual assault reports on campus have proven. I've dealt with enough drinking/drunk/hungover people my age to realize that it's not as cool or as fun as the media or other people make it out to be.

I've been made fun of more than once for staying in on weekends (this is not me boo-hooing, by the way. I can't remember the last time I actually was upset by someone who made fun of me). Mostly, I think it stems from people not understanding what I do all alone up here in my room (and wouldn't they like to know! That sounds so much dirtier when you don't know I'm about to tell you exactly what I do).

I write. I'm making money. I'm making good money, as it happens. Not enough to buy me a Porsche anytime soon, but enough to keep me fed, caffeinated and in school. I'm working. This, people, is my job. And I enjoy it. I would rather stay in my room all weekend getting eyestrain from staring at a computer screen and writing so much that I can't identify a red pepper (I kept calling it a banana). That, to me, sounds like SO much more fun than getting shitfaced, making a fool of myself and not remembering any of it the next day.

Writing is my passion, though. It's my excuse for being anti-social, and more often than not, also my excuse for being social. I don't know how people who don't write occupy their time in many cases, but that's just because it's such a huge part of my life. I guess I should modify that -I don't know what people who don't have a passion do with their days. Maybe that's why kids go out and drink on weekends, because they don't know what else to do with themselves or where to look.

Personally, I think that's sad.
Right now, I am surrounded by people who are preparing to go kill off brain cells, injure themselves and spend the next 2-3 days feeling like they're going to die. In some cases, this is because they just don't know what else to do. How depressing is that?

Granted, I go to the #4 (or are we #5?) party school in the nation, so the whole culture of drinking is much bigger here.

That doesn't mean it's excusable or should be encouraged.

I've had people try to convince me to drink by saying, "All writers are drunks or druggies. You have to give in sometime." My only response to that is to shake my head and sigh, and think of Stephen King (one of my favorite quotes of his deals with treating alcohol like a road to creativity -to him, that's just an excuse to be a drunk. I agree). I've got better things to do with my time.

I wish other people did, too.

----
Some books on this and similar subjects:
Dying to Drink
College Drinking
Pledged

I know I presented a brief (well, actually it's pretty long. Mostly it's rambling) and unspecific look at college drinking, but it's my blog. I'll do whatever I want. Seriously, though; this is just a glimpse at some of the things I've seen and experienced as someone who is within the college culture and yet looking at it from a pair of eyes that isn't seeing things quite the same way a lot of other 20somethings are.
What do you think of all of this? Am I too hard on other people?

Plessy v. Ferguson -and a book I'd throw at a wall

2009-10-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

Anybody know that case? That was the case that was overturned by Brown v. Topeka Board of Education. Plessy was the case that established the "separate but equal" doctrine endorsed by law for years -the law that continued and enhanced segregation. When Brown v. Topeka came along, the Supreme Court ruled (thank goodness) that a "separate but equal" doctrine is inherently unequal.

So imagine my surprise when I got an e-mail today that seemed to raise this issue, albeit in another sense. Those of you who follow my blog know that I am, for all intents and purposes, an atheist; however, for whatever reason (laziness), I still haven't unsubscribed from a conservative Christian newsletter that I used to follow closely, about 6 years ago. I'll leave it unnamed for propriety's sake.

Today, I got another e-mail from this newsletter that I was going to delete without reading, since that's what I do with 95% of the e-mails I get anyway...but something in the subject line caught my eye. It was this: "Ladies, you CAN have it all. A DIFFERENT kind of all!"

.....My eyebrows about hit the ceiling. What kind of all, exactly, are we talking about here? And why is this directed at women?

So I decided to check it out.

There's a book out, called "Find Your Strongest Life" that, from the descriptions and the book trailer (something I'll discuss in a subsequent post -basically a movie trailer for a book), seems like Plessy v. Ferguson all over again.

The general idea seems to be this: Women

"CAN have it all" -apparently "all" is a career, education and independent lifestyle
BUT women are "less happy than they were 40 and 50 years ago"
BECAUSE what women need is not what men need (i.e. a career and equality)
THEREFORE women should start staying home and devoting their lives to Jesus/their husband/the kitchen.

The message of this book is that what "all" should mean for women is a return to the 1950s era housewife. Give up dreams of an education or career and just get married and spend your time, energy and intelligence working on making your husband and god happy.

I'm pretty sure I'll be picking up pieces of my own skull off the floor and ceiling of my room for weeks, because my head exploded when I read and picked up on the message of this book. Pardon my French, but what the fuck?

In what world does "different" mean "just as good as"? Look at the result of Brown v. Topeka -separate is inherently unequal, and unequally weighted in favor of one side. The exact same thing applies here: "different" in this case implies that women should just give up the fight for equality that's been going on for decades and return to the kitchen and go to church on Sundays wearing a little hat.

"Different" in this case means that women should consign themselves to goals within the walls of the home and let men go out and bring home the bacon, because jobs are making women unhappy.

I think it's fitting that this book was written by a man. I would really like to know where he came up with his numbers, too, because the whole concept of this book is screaming BULLSHIT at the top of its lungs.

For the record, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with stay at home moms (or dads). My mom stays at home (and has a very successful career as a writer online), so I know firsthand that there are a lot of benefits to having a parent at home. But (and that's a but so big it should cover the whole entry) claiming that women shouldn't enter the workforce because "it's making them unhappy" and they should instead spend all their time discussing their at-home roles, worshiping god/their husbands and submit to a male-dominated power structure that our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers worked like hell to get out of is complete and total hogwash.

Men and women want different things -that's true. But not all women or all men want the same things, so claiming that women should strive for a "DIFFERENT" (religiously motivated) "ALL" than the "ALL" men strive for knocks us back into a time when "separate but equal" was an acceptable idea.

I sent an e-mail to the man who runs the newsletter that expresses my feelings pretty clearly:

XXXXX,

I find myself offended by this e-mail telling me, as a woman, that I should strive for a "different" kind of "all" than a man. Claiming that a woman can have "separate but equal" happiness in whatever sense -religious, business or personal -harks back to the era of Plessy v. Ferguson. Separate is not equal -it is in fact inherently unequal in profound and fundamental ways.

I agree with the idea that men and women often want things out of life that may not be identical, but claiming that what women need to be fulfilled and happy is "different" from what men need automatically implies a lessening of the female role in society.

As a strong, independent and intelligent woman, the ideas presented in this book are extremely offensive to me, as was the way the e-mail came across.

Bailey Shoemaker Richards

What are your thoughts on this book? Does it have value for some? Sure, I think it could. But is its message also motivated by a deeply rooted sexist way of thinking based in outdated and intolerant religious ideals? Absolutely.

Books and coffee

2009-10-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

I live on those things. Coffee especially. It's kind of a symbiotic thing...without coffee, I can't concentrate long enough to read or write, and without reading and writing I wouldn't exist so I wouldn't need any coffee. Not the best example, maybe, but it's true.

So this morning, when I got to my usual coffee spot to find that the line was out the door (and it was 35 degrees out), I wasn't happy. I was even less happy when I found out that they had no espresso left, and only decaf coffee.

I'm sorry, what? Blasphemers. I went elsewhere.

Then I came home and wrote about dental veneers...super exciting stuff, no? No, I guess not. At any rate, it's up there, along with several other articles about everything from Thanksgiving crafts for kids to literary and nerd tattoos. Cool stuff.

As far as books go, I'm still reading Clive Barker's Incarnations...it's fantastic, and I'm delaying over every page because I don't want it to end. It's dark and spooky and sad and beautiful -very much like Barker. Fantastic stuff. :)

What are you reading?

Leaves & Flowers -detailed information

2009-09-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

Submission Guidelines and Information about Leaves & Flowers

Welcome to the world of literary publication – I am so excited that you’re willing to get involved with my start-up literary journal, Leaves & Flowers. Getting published is a huge opportunity for any writer, no matter how well established they are, and even the first edition of a small, self-published journal or magazine is a good place to begin. It’s my hope that L&F can become a successful enterprise, encouraging writers and artists to explore the various ways in which they can interpret and create excellent work around a single, shared prompt.

For the first publication of Leaves & Flowers, the prompt is this: A journey is more than just moving from point to point. It is also a transformation. Use this idea as the basis for your work.

All artwork must be based off of the prompt above; I’m not asking you to rewrite the Odyssey or the Aeneid –what I’m looking for is your interpretation of that prompt. Take it and run with it. Let your imagination be in control, and send me whatever it is you create.

The submission process is simple. I need an e-mail, sent for now to my personal address at baileythebookworm@gmail.com with Leaves & Flowers in the subject line. Your piece of work needs to be sent as an attachment to the e-mail. I have a Mac, so if you’re using an older version of Windows, make sure it’s saved in a format that I’ll be able to open (and if it’s not, I’ll get in touch with you so we can work something out). The body of your e-mail should contain a very brief cover letter: your name, a bio of 150 words or fewer, a short description of the piece of work and, if you want, an explanation of how you interpreted the prompt (solely to satisfy my curiosity).

P.S. If you know anyone who you think might be interested in submitting, send them my way!

Leaves & Flowers

2009-09-29T18:25:00.000-07:00

Hee hee

Woo! Sorry for the long absence -can't believe it's almost Wednesday already (my day off. Aka the day I spend writing and drinking too much coffee [just like every other day, I guess, except I don't go to classes]). That was a ridiculous sentence. Back onto my point -long absence, I'm back now, regular updates start TODAY.

Leaves & Flowers is the official (so far) name of the literary magazine I am creating. Tomorrow there will be a whole bunch of information on it available for your perusal. Please please please pass any and all information along to the creative types in your life (whether it's you, your mom or some hobo you meet on the corner wearing one of those apocalyptic sandwich boards). I will be including pretty much everything you need to know except the details of the submissions, which are only available upon contacting me, whether that's with an e-mail, a phone call, a Twitter follow or whatever -get in touch with me, and we'll be buddies.

For the first issue of L&F there will be no rejections. Revisions? You bet your ass I'll be asking for some, or at least permission to do weird things with the text, but I won't reject anything (unless it deserves it). I may someday be creating a website for all of this, too, so stay on board with it and we'll see where it goes. I am incredibly excited to be working on it, and getting other people interested is proving to be really fun.

BOOKS!

My awesome boyfriend Jonah let me borrow a copy of Clive Barker's book of three plays, called Incarnations. I am used to Barker's novelizations, and so the play "atmosphere," if you will, is very different -until you start paying close attention. Then you realize it's absolutely true of Clive Barker and his style and his oeuvre -that is to say, this book is rocking my socks off. And I'm only like 45 pages in. I love it.

I'm also reading (well, just finished reading) Frankenstein for the first time. Sad, really, that I'm 20 and have never read it, but I'm also glad that I hadn't read it before -going through it with Van Winkle as my teacher has been an incomparably fun reading experience. It's very hard to capture Dr. Van Winkle in words...he's a brilliant, exuberantly weird man, and being in his class is absurdly fun. I find myself laughing at all of his little comments, even if the rest of the group sort of sits there with a collectively glazed look on their eyes. I think his eccentricity is what makes the class so much fun, whereas a lot of other people are apparently weirded out by him (not that he isn't weird -I just think he happens to be a cool brand of weird).

What's everyone else reading these days?

2009-09-24T13:23:00.001-07:00

Me again, with just a quick announcement -if any of you emailed me and have not received a response yet, email me again; I have very high spam filters and it empties itself regularly, so it's possible that your email has been deleted. :(

Send things back to me and I'll be sure to double check my spam folder for anything important!

Skipping Class

2009-09-24T08:26:00.000-07:00

This is what my brain does when I get worked up about stuff. Which can be good or awesome, depending on the situation. ;)

You know, generally skipping class is not a good thing to do. It's generally considered kind of scummy to not show up for class -it's sort of disrespectful to the teacher and the subject. But that, of course, assumes the class itself is earning that respect -and the necessity of the student's presence. In the case of the class I'm currently skipping, it just isn't so. All of the notes (I mean ALL of the notes -notes on the notes, annotations, extra links and information) are online. Nothing else is done in class except watch the occasional video, which, we are told "is not going to be on the test."

My question becomes, "Well, what IS?"

The teacher of this class is genuinely nice. But she seems to be more interested in making sure no one is challenged even a little tiny bit by the material than teaching us anything.

So I don't go. I challenge myself in other ways during class time. I'll show up for tests and maybe once a week otherwise and do all my projects and work with people when necessary, but otherwise, I'm not going to be there. I'm getting more out of my class by not being in it.

I am, in fact, seeking out more writing gigs. Kind of. I'm not looking for writing for me to do (well, that's a lie -I'm always looking for writing for me to do); right now I'm trying to find people who will be willing to write for my literary journal. Know anybody? Are you somebody who would like to write (or take pictures or draw or make a sculpture and send me a photo of it)? Because I need you. I want you. (Not in a suggestive way.) I want all of the creativity I can get for this baby. I want to make it happen, and possibly happen long term.

I'm falling in love with publishing, you see, more than I ever had before. I want to make this an integral part of my life. But I need writers, thinkers, artists, etc. to help me get it off the ground.

So if you know anybody/are somebody, send them my way. Right now. Comment on the blog, e-mail me with "Leaves & Flowers" as the subject line (it's the working title of the mag right now) and I will fill you in on the aesthetic I'm looking for and what types of submissions I will accept.

Skipping class is totally valuable. ;)

I probably won't be around to update again today or tomorrow since I'm going to a concert tonight and going home for the weekend after that, but I will check periodically to see if I have comments or e-mails and I will respond promptly, I promise!

Creativity and Hipsters

2009-09-23T05:31:00.001-07:00

A game I will flat-out refuse to play. Image blatantly stolen from Google.

All right, here's something that bothers me (and bear with me, because it takes some explanation. I've been thinking about this for like a week, so it's all complicated): oddity for the sake of being odd. It's shammy, scummy, annoying and pointless.

The whole "hipster" scene that has kind of blown up over the past couple of years (see the book Stuff White People Like -first off it's hilarious, second about 1/2 the entries apply to hipsterism) drives me nuts. Now, don't get me wrong -I love quirks. I love people with quirks. I know plenty of very quirky people. But the difference between being quirky and being annoying is that these quirky people don't make their quirks the sole facet of their personality.

If you're turning yourself into a parody of a human being by your ironic fashion sense/opinions/eating habits/"creative" projects, then I want nothing to do with you. Fully developed people (or even developing people) should have more to talk about than how ironic they are, and how everything today is so ersatz compared to 40, 50 years ago and they're just soooo glad they can (ironically) appreciate getting out of the consumerist mainstream.

And hey, that's fine -I'm all for getting out of the mainstream, to an extent. The hipster movement, to me, is no different than being goth/emo/dressing like a pirate every day. All you're doing is rejecting one set of beliefs for another conformist, consumerist, uninteresting set of beliefs. And these people (us vs. them mentality going strong today, just keep coming along with the writing please) insist that they're so "random" and so "different" from everyone else.

All I have to say in response to that is that if I went around campus with a digital camera and took a picture of every hipster here (which would take at least 4 months) and put them all up, you wouldn't be able to pick yourself out from the rest of them.

At what point does that strike anyone as being creative? If your idea of creativity comes from wearing 40 year old overalls with one pant leg rolled up to your knee, not shaving or getting a haircut and brushing your teeth during class, I'm saddened by that. Carrying a Moleskine notebook around doesn't make you look creative. (Disclaimer: I carry a Moleskine notebook around, but I actually happen to be a creative writing major and I use it multiple times a day, so take everything I say with a tiny grain of salt).

My issue here with the whole idea of being a hipster as somehow directly equivalent to being a creative force is that there is no creativity involved in it. There is the creation of a set of quirks and a thematic element of sticking it to the man (which, as we all know, is super duper original and hasn't been going on since the first cave man declared himself an authority over his brothers). That is not a personality or a way of life, that is a fashion trend like any other.

I don't mind weird people. Most of my friends are weird (and I say this as a compliment, friends who read this. I say this with love in my heart for your weirdness). What I mind is people who let a few odd traits become their only traits.

I have, like I said, weird friends. But these are friends with whom I can sit and have a conversation about anything. There's no pretense in talking with these people -there's no sense of needing to maintain some kind of status quo socially. We just get some coffee and hang out. Whenever I see/overhear hipsters talking, or talk to them myself, there's this underlying (or overwhelming) sense that everything has to be super-strange, disconnected, ultra-literary or ironic in some way. I love having literary discussions, but not when they're pretentious and motivated by a desire to be smarter than everybody else/seem smarter than everybody else/show off my knowledge. I want to discuss literature because literature is worth discussing, not because I have an ironic statement to make about it.

Oddities are awesome, but they need to be kept in check. People let their personality quirks take them over and suddenly they're not really a person anymore. Just a caricature of one. That bothers me.

And creativity is damaged by that. A lot of these people seem to think (based on the writing/drawing I see them do) that they can successfully write/draw ironically, all the time. You can't. You have to be living a full life (notice I don't say a good, moral or normal life, but a FULL one) in order to get creativity out there. Hipsters seem, to me, like they just have big circle-jerks all the time over how ironic and nonconformist they are -and there is, initially, good stuff that comes out of being ironic and nonconforming (I won't say anything about what comes out of a circle-jerk, because that's gross and inappropriate)...but when you take it to a point of not doing anything except trying to be a nonconformist, ironic person, you lose everything that made you an interesting writer or creator.

I'm also not saying, in this, that everyone should be more like me or adhere to some ideal of what I find normal/cool/right, whatever. I'm sure there are plenty of hipsters out there who write beautiful prose and poetry that is not always focused on being ironic, just as I'm sure there's some frat boy on campus somewhere who has a secret file on his computer for his stories. You can't judge someone on how they look -I know that. But you can totally judge someone once you've been interacting with them for a while, and the people I'm coming into contact with are every single stereotype you can think of when you think "hipster." It's just bugging me.

This has little to do with reading or writing except incidentally, but a lot to do with the idea of creative expression. I am all about it. If you feel the need to dress solely in vintage clothes as a personal expression, go for it. But unless you have a personality apart from those clothes, I'm not going to remember you in two weeks as anything other than another "quirky" hipster.

2009-09-22T07:49:00.000-07:00

You know what's not fun? Colds. I have one. It sucks.

BUT the attendant bad mood that accompanies colds has made me not want to write -and that's a good thing, I've discovered. I burned myself out on writing over the weekend, so I took yesterday off to do whatever I felt like doing.

I felt like drawing with crayons. I spent several hours doodling (an eyeball, two halfway decent pictures of Little Foot from the [original] Land Before Time movie), and it was great! I still don't feel like writing (I'm blaming it on the fact that my nose is so stuffed I think I have snot in my brain), but I do feel like I've found another creative outlet (albeit one I'm not very good at).

I am going to try to write today, though, because it's important (and it's my, you know, job and stuff). I've got plenty of things I can write, I just need to drum up the motivation (aka coherence) to be able to sit myself down in front of this computer screen and actually do it.

Like I said, colds suck. All I really want to do is sit in front of my monitor and watch last night's episode of Castle repeatedly. And I can't even do that, because I still have 4 hours of class I have to attend. I skipped my psych class because we weren't doing anything. That and I reeeeallllly wanted to watch Castle. And I'm sick.

I did read this really cool piece today about never giving up on writing, and I think I'm going to return to that when I come back to my room from classes and am faced with another 9 blank forms that I need to fill with sensible, "actionable" words and information. Obviously I won't be doing all 9 today. Maybe 4. 5 if I'm feeling good once I get going, it's just the going that's the hard part (or is it the getting? Whatever).

I'm going to go make myself some tea.

2009-09-21T10:16:00.000-07:00

Anybody read the new Dan Brown book yet? I haven't...I might eventually, but all the build-up hype made me back off. I don't like hype. I read all of the Harry Potter books, actually worked at a midnight release in a bookstore, but I didn't much care for the insanity there, either. I'm not one for mob mentality.

Speaking of books, those are what I'm immersing myself in today. I spent all weekend killing myself over writing articles (it paid off, but it ruined my mood) so I'm giving myself permission to do no "professional" writing today and just enjoy myself. Drink too much coffee (not that I don't do that every day anyway), read some books, do some crosswords. Stuff like that.

I'm going to be reading snippets from the hilariously wonderful book Alphabet Juice, and perhaps some of this bio of Audrey Hepburn that's largely pictures. Picture book for adults = super cool.

That's all I've got for today, kids. I'm sleepy and still recovering from the massive amount of writing I did over the weekend. 18+ articles and rewrites? That's a lot. Break time! See you tomorrow.

Showing a little restraint

2009-09-18T05:05:00.000-07:00

I don't like this. This is a "font." Read on to find out why it has earned my derision.

It's morning, and this is the first morning this week in which, not having an early class, I have not almost been walked in on by the maintenance guy while showering. He is very round -at least my impression of him is one of roundness, since I usually go scurrying by, head down and bathrobe wrapped around me in an attempt not to pull (or flop, I guess) a Janet -and comes to clean the bathroom every day at the same time. That means, essentially, that our repeated encounters are really my fault (although I don't understand why, when I announce that I am in fact in the bathroom he just stands outside and waits for me to finish instead of going and cleaning the other one...). So I'm waiting. I can hear him out there and I haven't yet left my room -even for water with which to make coffee.

I've also not written this week about an item of popular terminology that bothers me considerably (nor will I at this juncture). I'll tell you it has to do with weight. That's all.

I've also made an effort to get books that I haven't read before in order to talk about them. That in itself has been a good time. I watched, if you recall, the documentary Helvetica, which is all about that lovely typeface and it's effects on graphic design. People get quite passionate about Helvetica -both for and against -due to the exact same qualities: its streamlined uniformity seems to either make people extremely happy (Modernists) or they despise it as a representation of slick, charming but ultimately misleading consumer commercialism (what I would hesitantly call post-Modernists despite the fact that I loathe the whole postmodern oeuvre as it stands today).

Personally, I like Helvetica -to a point. I wouldn't want it tattooed on my body (I'd prefer having the words Habent sua fata libelli in Monotype Fournier in italics and in white ink on my right wrist instead, as seen in Alberto Manguel's Library at Night. Not that I've been giving that any thought), but I like it. Its simplicity makes it attractive to me, while its versatility makes it practical. The outcry against it, however, is something with which I can also identify. When everyone uses something because of how simple, useful and practical it is, it begins to lose its clarity and its functionality. Original creation is difficult in something that is used everywhere by everyone.

So I checked out some books on typeface from the wonderful library here on campus. The first one was disappointing. Despite my complaints about Helvetica's ubiquity and lack of originality, there is a point at which originality becomes unreadability. If the point of typeface is to make readable, communicative fonts, then what are these jumbled up curlicues trying to tell me? If I can't read it, aesthetic communication is also lost; despite the beauty of an alphabet being that you can make anything with it...if what you're making does not even resemble letters at the most basic level, then you have failed as a designer.

There was also very little explanation of any aesthetic message within the book. It was just a lot of pictures of design -of which many, I will grant, were interesting and piqued my curiosity. However, there were many more which left me wrinkling up my nose in some distaste. On top of the amount of poor design, the lack of any organization (artificially imposed, organic, alphabetical, I don't care -but something needs to have order) was also frustrating.

I'm not saying I want the designs presented in rank and file, army style, but to just scatter designs through a book with obviously no effort at finding commonality or theme smacks of laziness, not creative disorganization. That in itself was enough to detract from the reading experience.

The second one I picked up, however, I only put down because my eyes would no longer stay open. It's fun to read. It's called Letterforms Bawdy, Bad & Beautiful, and it's great. The examples they chose are stylistically relevant and modern enough to be recognizable even to me (the Rent book cover, for instance) and the organization imposed is beautiful. Each (artificial -their word this time) section covers one method or product of a design process. A moderate introduction explains to readers the general track that the section will take, covers why certain types of design were included and encourages readers not only to pay attention to what they chose, but to question it in terms of our own aesthetic tastes.

I've been very impressed. If you have even the most passing of interests in the design and application of fonts, check it out.

Writing, reading, music and coffee

2009-09-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

The trouble with not having to go to any classes on Wednesdays (or Mondays, or most of Fridays) is that I hole up in my room like the hermit I am and generally refuse to leave it unless forcibly dragged out with the promise of being fed or caffeinated. Even though I can feed and caffeinate myself perfectly well within the confines of my room -I'm already on my second cup of coffee for today, and I'm starting to run out of my little Keurig cups...time to order some more!

The benefit of not having classes on Wednesdays (etc.) is that it allows me ample time to get all of my homework done. For instance, today: I got up shortly after 8 and showered (and almost got walked in on by the maintenance guy again). It's now 10:30 and I'm done with all of my homework except a bit of reading.

I can now devote the rest of my day to writing, listening to Flogging Molly and the Dropkick Murphys, drinking obscene amounts of coffee and trying to find recipes for all of the wonderful produce my even more wonderful boyfriend brought me on Monday! I'm not much of a cook.

As for books, I'm currently preparing myself to dive into the Norton Anthology of English Literature Volume 2, which I need to start reading for tomorrow. The book is massive, with thin, Bible-like pages and teeny, tiny font (which led me to think about the intellectual assumptions that come with font size; I read a book directed at adults that had font about this big throughout it, and it seemed somehow insulting, as though the author/editor/designer assumed the target audience for the book wasn't smart enough to work through a smaller font).

What's everyone reading right now? For me it's mostly been things for school and research for writing (which, oddly enough, is quite interesting. Right now I'm off to work on writing about craft projects for old guitar strings. As though I know anything about guitar strings. Or crafts, for that matter!)

Book Project

2009-09-15T16:05:00.000-07:00

I have previously mentioned my literary editing class and the awesome-tastic final project we're doing. Namely, creating some kind of literary journal/magazine/anthology/thing. I've been having ideas, ideas and more ideas and every time I end up in class I think of more things I want to incorporate into this project.

I'm still trying to decide if I want to do just a print book, but I'm starting to move away from that a little -I want to incorporate the internet into it. I'd like to see if there's a way I can create an e-book that would still be available as a print on demand sort of thing, just without the internet function (obviously. I can't do magic).

As much as I love print journals and books, technology is opening up a lot of formatting avenues for me that I wouldn't be able to have in a more traditional format. Another possibility I'm considering is just creating a print on demand journal that utilizes non-traditional formatting and design. This option seems most realistic to me right now, especially since I only have 8 weeks to work on it.

I'm starting to think that I could make a small amount of money as a result of this though -whether through self publishing or starting my own little publishing company. I don't know. I'll have to look into the legal side of things, especially if I use the work of other people, but it's something I'm going to be thinking about in conjunction with this project.

As for the aesthetic mission of my project, I think I've finally started to formulate the beginning of a workable idea. I still want all the pieces to be focused around a similar concept (namely finding the magic/joy/love in the everyday, even if the "everyday" isn't exactly normal), but what I'm thinking about doing is writing a simple, generic sort of prompt and giving it to all interested writers...and what comes in comes in. Writing from a prompt, I know from experience with Power of the Pen, can lead to amazingly creative stories and ideas. I also want illustrations, photographs and other forms of expression included in the design; I want to represent the aesthetic differences and similarities that can come from a lot of people finding inspiration from the same source.

I think that will be a LOT of fun. I'm going to start trying to find interested writers (etc.) ASAP. If you are a writer (etc.) and you're interested in getting in on this (and helping out a broke, starving, pathetic college student like myself) let me know! I want talented work -that doesn't mean I'm looking for Hemingway. I'm looking for legitimate creativity, that's all. I'll have more information on prompts, the functioning aesthetic of the publication and other bits and pieces as I progress through the class.

It's getting really very exciting for me!

A Dirty Job

2009-09-14T07:42:00.000-07:00

You know that song by The Who? That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Christopher Moore's book A Dirty Job, which is by far my favorite book of his (and I've read most of what he's written).

On top of being hilarious (which I'll get to in a minute), it's incredibly well-researched. Granted, it may not be perfect -I'm not up-to-date on most of my mythology -but the research he did shows in the writing and the characterization; what errors there may be can be chalked up to artistic license, IMHO. From the Morrigan to Tibetan Buddhism, Moore covers a huge amount of mythological ground in dealing with death, and he does it in a highly believable way (given that the book is fiction/fantasy/humor writing -you expect it to be weird).

It helps that it's set in San Francisco. I don't know why -I've never been there -but the way Moore makes the city into a character in many ways pulls the reader to the book even more. To have such a living setting, and one that becomes familiar even just within the story, is an invaluable part of A Dirty Job.

A Dirty Job is a book about Death (and regular little-d death as well). It deals with the idea of a mythological construct called Death who would work with the dying, the ferrying of souls and the question of the afterlife. My religious/spiritual views being what they are, I like that the book doesn't turn into a proselytizing sort of a deal (it's not the point of the book -it doesn't even happen in his book Lamb, which is about Jesus), but what I really like is the direction Moore takes the concepts of death.

He interweaves so many ideas about the afterlife -the concept of a soul, transmutation/metempsychosis (Google it), reincarnation -into our modern, materialistic world and on top of being hopeful and surprisingly logical (within the construction of the story), it's sort of funny.

Moore's humor is warped. That's a big part of the reason I like him, actually; my humor is also warped. A Dirty Job is, quite frankly, one of the funniest books I've ever read. At times it's very, very dirty humor (the type that has me either cackling loudly or pressing my lips together to keep from doing so) and at other times it's a very sympathetic form of humor that just leaves me smiling. Moore treats the idea of death with compassion, but not with fear or loathing -it's a very gentle portrait of death (usually), and it's also very entertaining.

The characters Moore populates his world with in A Dirty Job are fantastic. Most of them seem like caricatures at first glance -too perfect, too strange or too cliched. But that's only at the first, short look. Within a few encounters (or sentences, for that matter), these caricatures quickly settle into exquisitely human (or partly human) roles; these are the sorts of people we all know and love/hate/deal with. Although the characters are all a little more extreme in one aspect or another than most people we know, they are each still real enough that by the end of the book they are unforgettable.

I won't spoil the story by going into too much detail about the plot. It's really a book that deserves to be read, and read more than once. My own copy is battered from having been read around 8 times by myself and lent out to many, many people. The cover glows in the dark. This book satisfies my childishness and my intellectualism and my love of good writing in every way imaginable. Go read it.

My Cell Phone Story

2009-09-11T16:59:00.001-07:00

This is the saga of the cell phone replacement.
This letter will be sent to Asurion.

Brace yourselves.
Enjoy.

________________________________________

Dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc.,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is not Billy Perkins. Nor is it Haley, Kali or Harry. I am not the child of Jimmy Perkins, nor am I the child of Jim Richardson. My name is Bailey M. Shoemaker Richards, and I am the daughter of James Richards.

All of the above incorrect names are names your employees have called me on numerous occasions between September 7 and September 11, 2009 as I attempted to get my phone replaced.

Some background on my situation: in January of 2009, my Verizon Wireless-provided Blackberry Curve 8330 stopped functioning. To be precise, the trackball and all attendant tiny electronic parts exploded out of the front of the phone for no apparent reason. After a panicky day of attempting to continue using said exploded phone, you, Asurion Insurance Service Inc., kindly replaced it with an identical (but unbroken) model for a modest $50.

Fast forward to September 7 of this same year. I attempted to place a call to my boyfriend, who lives approximately 180 miles away from me, back in my hometown. I am attending college; he is building a house. And all I could hear was static. Not the friendly, “hang on a second I’ve hit a bad spot” static, but the insane roar of a dragon roasting our conversation dead in midair. We could no longer hear one another.

I called him back from another location…same deal. I sent him a text message, assuring him that I’d call him when my phone was working. I attempted to call my mother. Same exact deal, except the conversation was somewhat more strained (she has food poisoning and hates that I’m approximately 168 miles from home).

At this point, it’s clear that something is wrong with my cell phone. This static cling that’s taken over my calls is obviously not me hitting a bad spot in the connection (although Athens, Ohio is admittedly full of them). There is a technical difficulty, Houston. What’s a girl to do but head up to the local Verizon store and see what they can do?

Apparently, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc., what they can do is nothing. The man behind the counter, with his loose-fitting polo shirt and distinct odor of Subway sandwiches, informed me that I needed a software update, which could only be done from a computer. I have a Mac. I explained this to the man in the loose-fitting polo shirt, and he informed me that the software should be available for a Mac.

Guess what? It’s not.

I had made the trek of several hot, steaming, college-smelling blocks to Verizon and back to my dorm (which smells of hazelnut coffee, in case you are curious), only to be disappointed by the necessity of another trek of those selfsame blocks. I returned to the Verizon store, distinctly less pleased than I had been, and the man in the loose-fitting polo seemed less excited to see me. He plugged my phone into the store’s computer and informed that I had at least a 40-minute wait on my hands.

Indeed I did. Fortunately, as a writer, I am never without occupation. I set about working on some things and discussed the current cell phone conundrum with my mother via the Internet, blessed thing that it is.

Phone updated, I left, with the intention of visiting a local bookstore-cum-coffee-shop in the hopes of obtaining a job. I called my mother on the way over, rejoicing at the crystal clear tones of our conversation until –oh, tragedy! –but a moment into our speech, the static returned. And so I did not go to the bookstore-cum-coffee-shop, but instead spun on my heel and went back to Verizon.

Are you keeping a score, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc.? That is the third time I had gone to Verizon that day, within the space of a few hours. Upon my entrance –this time with all the fire of righteous indignation in my eyes and in my step –the hapless counter jockey merely handed me the number of Verizon’s warranty replacement service.

At last! Perhaps Verizon’s warranty replacement service could get me somewhere. I met a friend of mine at another local coffee-shop (I live on a college campus; there are nearly as many coffee-shops as there are restaurants) to call the number I was given. After being disconnected from seven different calls, one finally stuck, and the woman on the line told me that the phone you sent me, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc., was a refurbished phone, and under your warranty until January of 2010. She connected me to a representative on your end, and hung up.

Within twenty seconds of my conversation with the gentleman, he hung up on me. I’m not sure if it was intentional or accidental, but as I had no phone number at which to reach you then, I had to start all over. These several conversations with Verizon each took a different tack, all irrelevant now, but no two methods of dealing with my phone were the same. I could not get a Verizon representative to give me your number for ages.

It would not be until September 8 of this year that I would have a number for you, yourself, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc. But I would only have that number after a total of nine hours on the phone with Verizon’s warranty replacement service. Did you read that right, my friend? Nine hours on the phone and three visits to a local Verizon store with absolutely no resolution –not even an explanation as to what could be causing the problem.

Cue the beginning of my interactions with your staff, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc. Allow me to remind you that on the survey card sent with my (eventual) replacement phone, your slogan says, “Our passion is your peace of mind.” Ostensibly, this is a goal to which your employees would strive. Clearly, someone has missed some memos.

My first conversation lasted for over an hour as a man had me answer my phone when he called it, call him back immediately and repeat this song and dance routine somewhere in the neighborhood of seven times. Despite the fact that I could not hear a single word he said, nor he understand what I said, he resolutely denied being able to detect the static that riddled the airwaves between our ears and mouths.

According to him, nothing could be done, since there seemed to be nothing wrong with the phone. We hung up, after he instructed me to do a soft reset and assuring me that the problem would be fixed. It wasn’t. I called back and a very strange, very incompetent woman answered the phone.

Generally, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc., I am a patient customer. My tolerance for poor customer service is very high when dealing with representatives. I am not a mean person. I am a 20-year-old creative writing major who loves books as much as I love some people, but I am not mean. However. However. After almost two full days without my cell phone working, without being able to converse with my mother or my boyfriend (to both of whom I am very close) and without any resolution on the issue, my patience was at its limit.

This woman, whoever she was, was an idiot. I will not sugar coat that fact for you. How she has retained any sort of employment with you or anyone is a mystery. After calling me Billy Perkins, and seeming to willfully ignore my protestations that my name is Bailey Richards, she proceeded to tell me that my phone number ended with 5163 and she could not find it in the system.
“Ma’am,” I insisted. “Ma’am, my name is Bailey Richards and my phone number ends in 5133.” Eventually I got through to her –only to be told that I would need to run some tests on my phone. I refused, albeit politely. I told her I was reaching my tenth hour of dealing with the issue and would simply like to have my obviously defective phone replaced, if that wouldn’t be too much trouble.

She informed me that she’d have to transfer me to technical support, as only they had the power to replace my phone. Personally, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc., I don’t believe that. I think she was simply lazy and stupid. I accepted the transfer and was informed in no uncertain terms that replacing my phone was not an option.

I hung up in frustration, after ascertaining that no one on your staff was going to be of any help to me, before again communicating with my mother via the Internet. She called, and was put on hold for no reason, before being informed that to get a replacement, she had to have the phone in front of her.

Imagine my renewed frustration, if you would, when hearing by proxy that although my mother had found someone who would replace the phone, because I am approximately 168 miles away with said phone, nothing would be done. My mother, less patient than I with poor customer service, requested a supervisor.

I will not swear, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc., because I don’t wish to taint this letter with curses and unnecessary bile, but the woman with whom my mother spoke next would be best described using the most vile, foul words I can think of. She not only refused to offer my mother a solution, she also refused to find anyone else with whom my mother could speak –she claimed that there was no one higher in authority than herself. When my mother asked if she owned the company, predictably, the woman had no answer except an excuse to hang up.

I had no recourse but to return to Verizon and call your company again from their phone, my access to any phone but my own having been temporarily removed by the fact that I didn’t have classed to attend (due to clever scheduling on my part) and my friends all did. Are you keeping track of the time frame? It is now at this point in the narrative September 9, 2009. I have spent at this point spent approximately 13 hours of my life attempting to replace a phone that quite obviously does not work.

Let me tell you something. I’m a freelance writer. This means that all of my unoccupied time is devoted to writing. I write profitably for four different websites and manage a blog –this in addition to an annual novel-writing competition, 17 hours of advanced classes and cooking all of my own meals due to severe food allergies. I’m a busy young woman. I lost what amounts to $100 over the first three days of attempting to replace my quite obviously broken phone. I do not appreciate this, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc. I do not appreciate it at all.

Additionally, I attempted half-heartedly to do another soft reset of my phone. After this attempt, the phone would no longer even turn on. I took the battery out again –nothing. In desperation, I plugged the phone in –nothing. Enraged, I went to sleep and planned to resolve the issue.

So when I went back into Verizon on Wednesday, I went full force. People were propelled from my path by the sheer force of my anger, and when I flung open the door to the Verizon store, the same man from two days prior, this time in a different loose-fitting polo shirt (but still smelling of Subway), did not look at all pleased to see me. In fact, when I smiled, he looked downright frightened.

“I need your phone,” I told him, and I had seven hundred years of Scottish temper behind the words. Incidentally, should you be interested, I am a descendant of William Wallace’s mother. You know the movie Braveheart? That sort of temper is the temper I have. I was given a phone.

The woman who answered was the first of your representatives who was kind to me. She, unlike those who came before her, apologized for my misfortunes and assured me that she would do everything in her power to help me –except she did not have that power which is necessary to replace a phone. A phone, I feel compelled to add, that you had sent me initially, and which was not new.

She transferred me to a man named Harold. He, like the woman before him, was incredibly nice. Such a change from your other employees, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc.! He was curious, friendly and willing to help me, where the others were incompetent, combative and seemed only to want to pass the buck to someone else.

Despite my explanations of my (at that point) 15 hours on phones and in stores, he still insisted that we run through all of the tests through which I had already run. My hackles went up, but I complied. My phone is important to me. Not only do I conduct my personal affairs on it, it’s invaluable for my multiple writing jobs. After forty-five minutes, he finally came to the conclusion that I had reached nearly two full days before him: the phone was shot. Nothing left to do but replace it.

He offered me the same model, kindly pointing out that it was also available in pink. I laughed for the first time in two days: I am not a pink sort of a person. My sheets are blue. My backpack is black and grey. I have posters of Audrey Hepburn and Casablanca on my walls. I requested that the phone I received be identical to the one I had, in simple black and silver.
I gave Harold my address. He read it back to me, incorrectly; I corrected him. He’d had my room number wrong. He read it back to me again, and, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc., had I had a gold star to give him, it would have been his. The address was correct, and he assured me that my phone would be delivered sometime on Thursday, September 10, 2009.

I left the Verizon store feeling almost like a new woman! Imagine –a new, working phone. I would be able to hear the voices of my boyfriend and my mother again. I would be able to call my friends on campus to make plans (which is more efficient than text messaging). The joy! The rapture!

But wait, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc.! Our story has not yet ended. Thursday came, and Thursday darkened. Evening arrived. The time for UPS deliveries was long since past and my mother and I commiserated irritably on the Internet about my absent phone. Hoarse of voice and emotionally drained, I conferred onto my mother the dubious joy of calling you yet again to ascertain the whereabouts of my truant phone.

The address, she was told, was wrong. I stared, aghast, at that proclamation. How could the address have been wrong? Harold, my savior and champion, had written it down correctly! Where in the process did my information get skewed or lost?

And then, then came the proclamation that spawned a rage that shook the foundations of my earth. The woman with whom my mother spoke informed her, after placing her on an unnecessary hold for over fifteen minutes, that you had already shipped out your quota of replacement phones. Impotent with anger, I could not even type a response to my mother, who appeared to be in a similar state. She vanished for a long, long time while I looked in vain at the screen, hoping for an answer.

Eventually she returned, telling me only, cryptically, that it was taken care of. To what gods did she sacrifice in order to make your pugnacious employees tractable, I wonder? No matter, it seemed, for the phone had been halted in its return delivery to you and was on its way back to me.

Today is Friday, September 11, 2009. I received my phone shortly before noon, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc., and for that I thank you. Although the UPS man startled me by knocking on my door as though he had a grudge against it, he nevertheless delivered my phone (and a textbook), and my day was made incomparably better.

Let us take stock, however, of my trials in getting this phone. I spent, and my mother spent, over 16 hours on the phone over the course of four days. 99% of those calls involved accusations of foul play on my end, a distinct unwillingness to help resolve my problem, the brutal butchery of my name and the name of my father, argumentation, unnecessary amounts of time spent on hold or re-explaining my situation to each and every person with whom I spoke and finally, on the cusp of victory, I found that my address had been tampered with in some way. The phone had been within my very building, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc., and yet could not make its humble way to me because someone in your system could not write a simple address correctly (and let it be known that I do not believe Harold is at fault for this egregious error).

So, explain it to me, if you wouldn’t mind. How is it that a company whose motto proclaims that my peace of mind is its passion can ridicule, harass, ignore and refuse to aid me in reaching said peace of mind? Indeed, how is it that an insurance company for which my parents pay an absurd amount of money refuse to provide the only service for which they exist –namely, getting me a new phone when my own had failed? And, I might add, a failed “new” phone that was not even new to begin with.

I am very curious, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc., as to how such a situation as I have been placed this week was even allowed to exist, given your claims, given the payment my family makes to you so that you will render services unto us when the need arises, given the number of times I explained –patiently –the circumstances under which I was calling.

I suspect you have no answer.

It would not surprise me. In fact, had you an answer, I might not, at this point, even care to hear or acknowledge it. I have taken what amounts to an entire twenty-four hour period out of my life, my writing, my studies, my socialization, in order to replace a piece of electronic equipment that you were contractually bound to replace should it malfunction, which it did. I have lost money. I have lost time. I have lost some measure of my very sanity and faith in the power of human beings as a result of our exchange, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc., and this does not please me.

I am asking for no reparations. I don’t expect to be reimbursed for the $100-150 I lost as a result of spending my days on the phones of other people (although I wouldn’t mind getting reimbursed). I don’t even expect a reply.

All I hope is that your company “claws/the red clay walls of hell for what [it] did” –to quote one of my favorite poets, Steve Scafidi.

I hope that when someone calls in with a phone that no longer works, your employees will feel my hot breath on their necks and feel terror.

I hope you have nightmares of me, dear Asurion Insurance Service Inc., me: a five-foot-four-inch, one hundred and eleven pound woman, clothed only with true Scottish woad (and indignation), pushing you inexorably towards a horrible cliff’s edge, for the rest of your natural lives.

I hope you read this letter and are ashamed of the vile, puling monstrosity you call an insurance company.

And I really hope you do not think you will continue to have my business, or the business of my family.

Sincerely yours,

Bailey M. Shoemaker Richards

Helvetica

2009-09-11T12:50:00.000-07:00

I picked up the documentary Helvetica from the library on campus today. I'm planning on watching it today or tomorrow, and I'm suuuuper excited about it. I've heard nothing but really positive stuff about it, and as a writer (and soon to be designer/editor), font is really interesting to me. Graphic design and the way it incorporates text influences every single aspect of our lives on a daily basis, whether we recognize it or not.

It will be interesting to get an in-depth look at that.

Books!
I got another one of my textbooks today (turns out I was 3 short when I got to school, thanks to the shitty textbook website not listing everything students need, presumably so they end up in a situation where they need the textbook asap and are forced to buy it from them -fortunately, such is not my situation).

The book I received today is the Norton Anthology of English Literature, Eighth Edition, Volume 2. It's bigger than my head (not saying I have a big head, just giving you a point of reference. It's a big book). And honestly, for all Chegg's promises of quality, well-preserved books, blah blah, I'm not that impressed. Aside from the cover being scuffed and bent, the outside of the pages have writing all over them (Chelle <3s href="http://holiday-entertaining.suite101.com/article.cfm/halloween_costume_ideas_for_couples">Halloween Costume Ideas for Couples
Simple Halloween Crafts and Decorations
How to Publish Teen Writing
Simple Ways to Decorate a Dorm Room
Choosing the Best Tattoo Design
Taking Effective Notes in Class
How to Proofread an Academic Paper

From Examiner we have:
The Lost Symbol
Richard Wright
Alex Cross's Trial
Freakonomics
Stephenie Meyer's New Moon (if I could shake this, I would, it being my moneymaker)
Overcoming writer's block

Also, worst name for a product ever: Cummins Onan Generators. If you get it, you get it. If you don't, I'm so not explaining this one.

BOOKS!

2009-09-10T14:51:00.000-07:00

It’s funny not to have internet on a laptop. Sitting in Wendy’s in Athens, you’d think I would. This campus is so connected, so with it, and yet barely 20 yards off, the connection goes caput. I wanted to come to watch people and write a blog, but the blogging bit isn’t going to work, unless I paste this in later. There’s hardly anyone here, which I would ordinarily like, but right now I want to watch people while I work. Looks like I’m heading somewhere else (when I finish my coffee –generally taking coffee from one coffee shop to another is a quick way to get blacklisted there. Unfortunate but true).

In the meantime, I am excited to start brainstorming ideas for my project. I have to create a book. Or a journal, an anthology, whatever –something where I design a book, come up with an aesthetic mission (and a business plan) and solicit writing from people.

I am so excited I can hardly type about it. Although my enthusiasm in class was dampened by the fact that it had been 8 hours since I’d eaten any food, now that I’m fed and caffeinated, I’m practically vibrating with ideas and thoughts (most of them probably worthy only of the trash heap, but they are there nonetheless).

So what that means, dear readers, is you’re coming along for the ride. I’ll be tossing about ideas, brainstorming, rough drafting, venting, soliciting and working via this blog. And, when it’s all done, I’ll be able to sell it to you –if it’s good enough, that is. These things remain to be seen.

Here's what I've been thinking so far: I want to work with writing of all kinds, especially "hybrid" or what most of us would call weird, experimental or obscure writing (please spare me talk of postmodernism, as it only irritates me. I want substance in my obscurity, not confusion for the sake of being confused). That said, I also want the writing to have a common thread, which I have yet to decide on. I want, I know, some focus on the little things. The things that make us who and what we are from a day-to-day basis (although not necessarily perspective). Whether that's a contemplation of a cup of coffee, a photograph of a pile of notebooks or science fiction absolutely doesn't matter.

I want a bit of it all. Poems, prose (fiction and non and anything in the middle), photography, artwork, whatever -as long as it meets the criterion that I will set forth when I actually do start asking for things, I'll consider it.

Otherwise, I haven't thought much about the format. I'm not entirely sold on the idea of making a traditional anthology/journal thing, because that's too simple (and I like my projects stressful and creative). I was thinking about creating an ebook, or some sort of website where those who want access to the writing would have to pay a one-time fee of $x and if they wanted a physical book, I could do a PoD (print on demand) sort of gig. I don't know yet. I think that's workable, but I also have ZERO experience designing, maintaining or working with a website other than stuff like this and Twitter where I fill in the blank spots with my words and that's all that's required of me. I might end up sticking just with a PoD type book or an ebook for the sake of remaining somewhat sane, but we'll see where it goes.

I still haven't even decided on the aesthetic.

I will admit, though, thinking about this project has made me excited about of the writing I do, both for this blog and for my multiple jobs. Despite loving the payment I get for writing, sometimes the spark just isn't there. Today, though, I remembered that I actually love words. I love the way words sound when you put them next to other words and when you read dictionary entries and when creating something or looking at something someone else made. It's amazing. I love it. It's good to remember that.

In book related news, I was actually mentioned by name in the Amazon blog by the author of the book that I wrote a review of -Legacy. YEAH, WHAT? That's so cool! Mom sent me the link and I about fell off my chair from the coolness of that. I feel super special. And stuff. You'll have to click "Read more" to see it, but it's there. I am that awesome.

No new reviews worth reading right now, but I'm going to write stuff as soon as I finish this and I'll be sure and post links later on.

Just payin the billllls: http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-13594-Cleveland-Literature-Examiner~y2009m9d10-Twilight-New-Moon

Somebody is about to feel the fury of my fists

2009-09-08T12:48:00.000-07:00

Not that my fists are all that furious. I guess that's not a really good metaphor. I'm furious, so maybe that translates into having fists of fury. Let's hope so, anyway, because my cell phone broke and the guy at Verizon seems to want to frustrate me in every way imaginable.

The phone is static. I mean...the thing has turned into a giant ball of static. It works occasionally and for maybe 2 minutes, after which talking is no longer an option. I don't yell. Clearly this is not a viable situation.
The guy, fully aware that I own a Mac (since I told him) nevertheless sent me back to my dorm to try to download the new software. Which can only be downloaded onto Windows. From Windows Internet Explorer. Neither of which I have, because I have a MAC.
So I trudge back to my dorm (this guy is lucky it's not really a long walk) and discover that -surprise! -I can't get the software. Here I am in Verizon waiting for my phone to get fixed when I wanted to be at the Athens Book Center trying to get a job.
Bastards.

On the plus side, classes are awesome. I'm excited about them. However, I'm also starving to death, so more on that later.

Quick edit: A discussion I had with my mom today has got me all fired up, and I've been writing (unrelated) things for almost 2 straight hours, so I'm a little fried and a lot irritable. Politics right now can only be described as a shitstorm. I can't stand to read a newspaper, half the Tweets I get on Twitter are related to this stuff and it's in the headlines everywhere -I get that there are controversial issues. I respect that. In fact, I think that's awesome.

What I don't think is awesome is the way it's being discussed -by either side as a whole, or even by most individuals.

I am so sick of anyone who disagrees with anything Obama says being labeled a racist/fundamentalist Christian/idiot. If their argument is not based on race, religion or a lack of intelligence and information, those kinds of comments are not only irrelevant, they're insulting to both the person being criticized, and the one making them. People who call the opposition racist, fundamentalist morons when that is not the issue at hand only serve to make themselves look like bigger, more ignorant jackasses.

If you don't agree with the point someone is making on an issue, argue with them about the issue. Don't attack them personally. What does that accomplish, aside from hostility? If someone attacked a point I made during a religious debate using the fact that I'm a creative writing major, I would laugh in their face. That's the same situation. If it's not relevant to the discussion, then leave it the hell out. There's no point stirring up more (unnecessary) controversy over an issue that's already divisive.

As for the other side, comparing Obama to Hitler is never going to get anyone anywhere except pissed off and frustrated. Make your point without getting over dramatic. Stop predicting the damn apocalypse every 30 seconds and actually research the issues once in a while (this is meant to be taken with a grain of salt -I know plenty of people who do their research on the issues at stake and can argue them well while leaving religion out of it. I'm not talking to these people). If your religious views are playing a role in what you think of the issue, and if the only point you can make involves Obama = Hitler/the country is being run into the ground/morals are dead/Obama = commie, but you can't say why, then shut up.

If you can't argue on the issues themselves, then don't argue about the issues by bringing in irrelevant points about the apocalypse and Hitler. It doesn't accomplish anything positive.

For real, productive discussions, people need to do their research, understand the issues at hand and learn to discuss things respectfully with one another. We are not small children on a playground fighting over who gets to pitch first at dodge ball based on which team has the better insults, we're talking about real, serious issues that will have a place in the lives of real people. So get over yourself, grow up and stop acting like babies -ALL of you.

I realize nothing in this post has anything to do with books whatsoever, so here are some links to reviews I've been writing.
South of Broad
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
Richard Wright (he had a birthday)
Alex Cross's Trial

Hitting the books

2009-09-07T05:46:00.000-07:00

This is me, looking smug/tired next to one of the 2 most important objects in my room: the (itty bitty) bookshelves! The other important object is my coffeemaker, which you can see some other time. Right behind me is my bed and then a wall, and that's all there is to my room. It gives definition to the word "cozy." Although right now it smells like microwaved alfredo, Good Earth tea and French Vanilla candly-stuff.

I figured it was about time for an update (I'm thinking I skipped last Friday, but I'm too lazy to check) even though everyone I know is probably off somewhere celebrating Labor Day. I'm sitting in my pretty new dorm room drinking hazelnut coffee that I made in my pretty new coffeemaker and smelling the scent of my pretty new (flameless) candle. I don't need a $25 fine for bringing the lovely candles Jonah gave me, even though the smells of them were always comforting.

I moved in on Saturday (thanks Family and Jonah for helping!! Miss you), spent yesterday getting acclimated to campus again and don't really know what's on my list of things to do today. I know I need to walk through my schedule at least once (to see how panicky I'll be tomorrow morning trying to make it from RTec to Porter in under 10 minutes. They're about a block+ apart). Fortunately for me, my last 2 classes of the day are not only right next door to one another in the same building, they're almost directly across the street from my dorm. How convenient!

Unfortunately for me, I have class from 8-4 tomorrow, no breaks. 10 minutes between classes. Granted, on the first day of class it usually goes something like this: "Here's your syllabus. Read chapters x-x for next time and e-mail me if you have questions. See you later!" English classes are usually the ones that keep you the whole time -big lectures just want you to get your syllabus and get out. Lucky me, English classes are my favorite, and I'm finishing out my days with English Lit and then Literary Editing. I'm so excited about that class.

That class is going to take up a lot of space in this blog over the next 10 weeks.

I also have the most stellar schedule imaginable, minus the 8-4 with no breaks bit. I have all 4 of my classes in a row on Tuesday/Thursday and then a 1-hour class on Fridays. That's it. That's all she wrote. "Bam!" said the lady.

Regularly scheduled book talk will begin again in a day or so -I still need to get adjusted to being on campus (and having my own room) before I can read comfortably. Writing my little articles has been a challenge enough.

Edit: Speaking of books... I can't stop drooling over this. So. Jealous.